Love better, live better

The superior man thinks always of virtue; 
the common man thinks of comfort. 

- Confucius

I came across this quote on one of Petrufied's blog posts. 

Let him slay the dragon

I started this post days ago, but for some reason, the link to the video I originally placed on the draft is gone. It was a video of speaker Jason Evert talking with a small group of students -- the same one in the video below -- about the natural tendency of men wanting to be the ones to "slay the dragon," so to speak, and the merits of women allowing the men to do this (hence, the title up there). The video eludes me now so I'm sharing another one below.

I wonder what the gentlemen can say about this. As a woman, I'll have to say that I find a lot of the things Jason Evert said reassuring -- and funny, but true. They've also made me realize that maybe we've set the bar for men too low in recent decades.







What has the sexual revolution accomplished for humanity? Some say it was a liberation of sorts for women, that by enabling women to have more control over their fate (in terms of the outcome of sexual encounters), women supposedly achieved greater freedom. Well, is freedom supposed to come with less happiness, less respectability, lower self-esteem and more diseases, and more psychological problems? Because the way I see it, with the discovery of the Pill (and its supposed liberation for women) came more women who are constantly looking for affirmation, and who seem to either draw out more ungentlemanly behavior in men or who enjoy ridiculing men and their "cluelessness" about many things. Also, was the spread of sexually transmitted diseases -- and to such proportions as it is currently in -- a by-product of the sexual revolution, foreseen by its most enthusiastic advocates?

Well, fortunately, there is always hope as long as there is life. A lot has changed since the 1960s when it comes to norms on relations between men and women. Even though we have little control over the path that society takes, the choices we as individuals make are completely up to us and this, in turn, can influence the people around us.

So, are you going to slay the dragon?

"...the power to change a man's heart"

Ever wonder how the mere mention of "modesty" usually has people thinking of clothes? Modesty really goes beyond that but since we don't go around with our eyes shut, our reactions and judgments are often formed initially by what we see. So it's no surprise that when this virtue is discussed, a lot of it has to do with the kind of clothing we wear.

Jason Evert tackles this topic with humor when he talks about the power that women have over men-- no, he's not pitting men against women or fueling a battle between the sexes here, just giving straight talk on the wonderful differences between how men and women see fashion, and about love and life in general. Jason was in the Philippines in 2011 for the Real Love Revolution event and he'll be back this year, this time with his wife Crystalina! Mark September 7 on your date book!

Here's an excerpt from one of Jason's gigs in Manila.






You can view another video of Jason talking with a group of guys and girls in a previous post

Get the details of Real Love Revolution 2013 at the Catalyst website

Ladies and gentlemen

 

"Women possess a unique power to shape cultures. Men look to you to learn how you wish to be treated. When women, as a culture, expect to be treated with dignity, something remarkable happens: Men discover that they'll have to become gentlemen if they wish to enjoy the company of women."

 

- Jason & Crystalina Evert, "How to Find Your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul"

Sometimes the truth hurts

And who relishes the experience of being told things that one doesn't like hearing, even if it's the truth? Well, I suppose the appreciation of being told the truth -- when this is for one's own good -- comes much later (or a bit later, depending on the personality and level of maturity of the person concerned), because... well, pride can get in the way (or a lack of understanding about certain things).

But then I'm grateful there will always be people who share what they know and not keep the truth to themselves. Jason Evert, one such person who has become well-known for his engaging and inspiring talks about love, dating, sex, the male and female psyche, and related topics, gives his insights to a small group of guys and girls on the way women present themselves and the perception of men. In a way it urges women to have more confidence in themselves as women who have much more going for them than externals and who are worth getting to know deeply. An excerpt:

"A woman isn't longing to be gawked at, she wants love. If a girl says 'I want both,' to be loved and gawked at.. the bottom line is, choose one. You will get what you want, choose wisely, and make your decision. The problem is, the world has kind of decided towards 'I want to be gawked at.' Because they don't have the confidence that if they dress in a more modest way, guys will approach them. It shows -- from a guy's perspective -- it shows insecurity. It's like 'Why do you have to throw yourself at me? Don't you think there's something about you that I would come to learn about that would make me want to get to know you more? And so for a guy, it shows a lack of confidence. Girls think 'I'm confident, I'm proud of my body.' But it's like, are you proud of the rest of who you are?"

What's great is that Jason Evert is coming to Manila this month (with a day having him swing by Iloilo)! Real Love Revolution 2011: Romance without Regret consists of several activities that'll give everyone a chance to attend at least one of his talks! The lowdown on the Feb. 24-27 schedule:





Now who would settle for a semblance of love when real love is within reach?

You've come a long way, baby?

Social theorist and media critic Jean Kilbourne has said that when it comes to portrayals of women in advertising, sex sells.

Whether or not this is true is -- at the moment -- beside the point as far as I'm concerned. What I've been thinking about is the degree to which even 'tween girls nowadays are heavily influenced by the sexualized content of media (advertising included). Then a while ago I read that Kilbourne said something along those lines:

"We’ve been conditioned from birth to think our sex appeal and physical attractiveness is the most important thing about us."

Judging from the material and the underlying messages the ad industry has been coming out with the past decade or so, that statement above seems to be fairly accurate (I just don't know about the "from birth" part). Whether or not that kind of conditioning reached you by way of excessive exposure to media during your childhood till the teen years, what ultimately matters is your acceptance or rejection of such kind of conditioning.





I wonder -- how would the proponents of the original Women's Liberation Movement regard all this if they were still around to witness the transformation? And, is the current manner of portraying women in media what the first feminists had in mind when they relentlessly fought for "women's rights"?






Do women who go about with an attitude of "I have the right to do anything I want" feel truly free?






In relinquishing a lady's natural power to turn even fools into gentlemen, does a woman who puts her "anatomical sexuality" on display really feel empowered? And confident?

Do women actually fall for the message put forth by advertising that sex appeal and physical attractiveness should be among those on top on the list of priorities?

Interesting questions to ponder. And I found a previous blog entry I posted some four years ago which I still find interesting. An excerpt:

And here I go again, attributing much of the societal damage to mass media. First of all, it's true -- media in this day and age is largely responsible for the perpetuation of ideas (both constructive and destructive) especially when the idea is deftly presented as something that will make you feel happy, free, strong, fabulously independent and/or desirable. The result: girls imitating what they see, whether it's a baby tee with "Porn star" flashed across the chest, the monthly boyfriend roulette, the spirit of abandon guiding underwear ads, or the whole attitude behind the "Sex Bomb Dancers" trend. An example:

Mothers who come into my office frequently express doubt about their own judgment, not knowing where to draw the line when their daughters dress provocatively. Girls, meanwhile, freely admit that they are only aping what they see in the media. One young woman told me, "I love 'Sex and the City,' but I know it's contributed" to the problem. " Desperate Housewives" does, too.

Believe me, people behind magazines, ads and TV programming know how to make practically anything -- even the trashiest, most indecent fashion styles and intrinsically wicked ideas -- look good and spend tons of money to do research to get better at it!

Read the whole thing, which includes links to two insightful reads from The Washington Post and Modestly Zone, here


* First photo is from a Benson & Hedges ad.

Modesty aside...

I've been thinking about modesty lately -- specifically, trying to think of another word that means almost the same thing. It seems that this word has become misunderstood, that if I talked to another girl about it and we happened to not be on the same page about things pertaining to love, relationships, character and virtues, she may react as if I had said "chastity belt" or something equally antiquated.

Thing is, though "modest" often refers to clothing styles and manner of dressing, it can go far beyond that to include speech, behavior, thought. I won't even go into that here, but I will share this piece that I stumbled on once again while roaming Modesty Zone, that site I used to go to when in search of delightfully counter-cultural ideas. Talk about non-conformity! Definitely stuff one wouldn't see in mainstream media.

Here's an excerpt from the piece titled "Confessions of a former hoochi mama":

I began to realize that in my "hoochi mama" days, instead of showing off my cool new figure, I was actually degrading it by making it so easily accessible to any viewer. Despite some of the protests of my friends, I began to realize that modesty is not about sexual shame or a negative attitude toward the body; instead it is very much pro-body and pro-woman. Who knew?

Another thing I learned was that the word modesty, in its origin, simply means "to moderate." When St. Thomas Aquinas deals with modesty in the Summa Theologiae he links it to the virtue of prudence. Between moderation and prudence, we can thus understand better how to deal with modesty in this day and age where there are so few guidelines concerning dress. To me, applying moderation to this concept means that on the sliding scale of today's fashions the modest girl will land somewhere in between the prude and the exhibitionist.

...

When women of the sixties and seventies were encouraged to take on a more male nature, they abandoned and, in some cases, suppressed the beauty of female nature. By nature I don't mean the body per se, but rather what is greatest about women: things like compassion, fidelity, warmth, and a capacity to nurture. But today we are to suppress all these virtues, and be feminine in body only.

Read the whole thing here

Flea markets, boundaries and the daddy factor

Yesterday after work, I passed by Greenhills Shopping Center, with the goal of snapping up some good buys (read: affordable and of good quality). Shoes needed replacing, and wardrobe in general needed some more...er, "punch." I like going to the Greenhills tiangge ("flea market") as haggling is part of the shopping experience at this place. I wasn't disappointed -- in less than an hour, I headed for home with some pretty neat items within my budget. But that's not really what this post is about. In one of the stalls, as I waited for the saleslady to return with some tops I requested in my size, a couple happened to pass by. The woman perused a bunch of spaghetti-strapped, lace-fringed clothing items on display while her husband watched. She fingered the pieces one by one, apparently deciding on the right colors then he said "Ha? 'yan? They look like undergarments!"

"Well, this is what she likes," she replied.

I casually glanced at the bright-colored items and then at the couple while inwardly cheering "Go, daddy, go!"

It depends on the parents. You are the parents. It's up to you to guide your kids into making wise fashion choices. Do not lose your confidence in bringing up your kids properly... went on in my mind, hoping for mental telepathy to do its thing at that moment.

The saleslady I was waiting for arrived at that moment, my good buys in hand. The husband apparently held his ground because he and his wife walked away without purchasing any of the spaghetti-o innerware-being-marketed-as outerwear pieces. I know he somehow reiterated his protest over his daughter wearing something like that but I was too busy with settling my own purchases to catch the exact words. My thought as I walked off with my shopping bags: sometimes a Daddy really needs to put his foot down, especially when it comes to guiding his daughters, even when it's only about the seemingly insignificant issue of fashion.




Guess what -- all that is just an intro! I really wanted to share a post I read at Modestly Yours a couple of weeks ago (two posts actually). The first dwells on an incident that's not hogging the headlines anymore yet the lessons that can be drawn from it are timeless. I'm posting it in full. The second, which touches on fashion choices, is quite sensible and thought-provoking (which all entries in Modestly Yours are); it springs from the recent death of designer Liz Claiborne and takes off from an article in The Wall Street Journal. Both posts somehow weave the role of parents into these matters, but the second zeroes in on the crucial role of fathers, plus the sense of propriety in general.

---------------------------------------------

An Open Letter to Paris Hilton

Dear Paris-

Congratulations on being released from jail last week. We don't know each other, but due to the choices you've made in the last few years, I can't so much as log-in to my email without reading the latest headlines about you, so since I know what's going on, I feel compelled to offer my take on your situation.

You and are close in age and I grew up in a privileged family too, although not nearly as wealthy as yours. But there's one thing that my parents were able to give me that your parents' endless money apparently could not buy for you - boundaries.

It seems that up until last month, your life was just one big party after another and there wasn't any form of attention or exposure that was too much for you. Although I read about how during your first few days in jail you would not let yourself eat or drink for fear of being photographed on the toilet by one of the guards as your jail cell had no privacy. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

About twenty days ago your party ended. Not when you went into jail the first time, but after your wealthy, well-connected family pulled out all the stops to get you on house arrest, and the judge sent you back to the slammer anyway. That was probably the first time in your life that someone enforced boundaries even though you're 26 years old.

I believe that you must have felt completely hopeless and helpless at that point. From riches to rags. (It was "The Simple Life," but there was no make-up and crew. It was just you and that small cell.)

Feeling helpless isn't always a bad thing, though. There's a verse from Psalms that says "From the depths, I have called out to You, God." Sometimes we are only motivated to call out to God when everything we have has been stripped away. Apparently that happened to you in jail.
I know people are debating about whether or not this change in you is real, but for your sake and for the sake of all the kids that look up to you, I hope it is. (I have two small girls who I would shelter from your escapades anyway if they were to resume, although what goes on in the media ends up trickling down to the rest of society no matter how hard you try to stay away from it.)

Paris, fame and wealth are not virtues or vices. They are responsibilities. For whatever reason God decided that you should be born into one of the most wealthy, well-known families out there today. The fact that you were born rich and famous was not your choice, but Paris, what you do you do with that money and fame lies solely on you and might well be the very purpose of your existence. So please, take a look at what you've been given, and make yours a meaningful life.

Best wishes for the future,
Allison Shapiro

------------------------------------------------------

[Author Naomi Schaefer Riley] then quotes a woman dear to my heart, Stacy London, the co-host of "What Not To Wear:" "You don't want to show too much skin at work--unless you're a lifeguard." True. Ms. London, whose father is Herb London, president of the Hudson Institute (a conservative policy research organization), attributes to her father the instillation of "a certain sense of propriety and right and wrong in me, which plays into my fashion sensibility."

Read the whole thing here

This is not about Paris Hilton..

.. but it is she who clearly illustrates an oft-ignored point, demonstrated by the photo -- taken in the context of the way she normally chooses to dress.


From "Resisting the raunch culture that objectifies girls":

Many parents feel powerless to resist the objectification of their daughters. But others are fighting back. A new modesty movement is sprouting in cities from Denver to Atlanta, with Pure Fashion shows drawing crowds of modesty-conscious mothers and daughters, new retailers like Shade Clothing reporting multi-million dollar sales figures for clothes that keep private parts private, and feisty online communities like ModestyZone.net encouraging rebels against raunchy culture.

The girls and women behind this movement say they are not looking to revive gunny-sack dresses or relive the 1950s. They simply want to be seen as more than the sum of their body parts.

Their modesty message is controversial in the era of Paris and Britney. Yet it is also common sense, as even Paris seems to know. How else to explain her uprecedented choice of collar and covered neckline for her recent court appearance? It seems that even America's quintessential girl gone wild realizes that when she wants to be taken seriously, she must stop the striptease and show some self-respect. [bold letters mine]

Full story at Townhall.com

Modesty aside...

I know I'm not alone in feeling peeved that those of us who go about our business quietly -- moving about and dressed modestly -- have no choice but to put up with the effects of "cultural second-hand smoke" just because other women move and dress to make men ogle at, uh, certain parts of their female anatomy. Sometimes I feel like asking them (the va-va-voom-garbed women) if they could please move to another planet so that I wouldn't have to put up (or not so much anyway) with a hyper-sexualized environment and inadvertently avoid...picking up after such women, so to speak. For some reason, that's how I feel about the whole thing -- that I end up with the dirt unwittingly caused by women (well, people in general) who apparently don't value upholding decency and modesty in society as much as I do. Is it fair in this case to say "you create the dirt, you clean it up and don't get any on me"? Sounds harsh but...

Suffice it to say, I love gentlemen, and I do what I can to help them be such. And I can see that when women don't act like ladies, this hardly brings out the gentlemen in the male members of the populace.

Also, I find it somewhat amusing when a woman looks disgruntled (or uncomfortable at best) when her barely clothed self elicits gazes from men. This commenter at The Rebelution blog sums up my sentiments succinctly:

I’ll tell ya what gets me. It is the woman who dresses [to] emphasize her sexuality and then has the nerve to get upset when men notice it.

She ends her comment with this:

But I do believe if a woman wants to be respected for her mind, that is the part of her she is required to reveal.

This and some 100+ more other comments were generated by a post that contained yet another comment which touched on on the Modesty Survey conducted by The Rebelution (it ended up with over 1,000 men participating). The comment essentially objected to the survey, and in somewhat scathing words. Here's the post:

Feminism and the Modesty Survey

The following (real) comments typify a general objection to The Modesty Survey. This post is primarily intended to address a specific method of voicing concern, not to condemn the voicing of concern. We have and do welcome your feedback.

I’m confused…what girl needs advice from male strangers about how to dress? Is this advice for blind girls? Don’t they have moms or sisters or friends or…someone? Maybe we should concentrate on the real problem: finding homes for these poor blind orphans!

I have a secret to tell you: Guys don’t actually like spineless females. You may think that acting subservient will make boys like you, but in the end it won’t. Don’t take the blame for the actions of horny teenage boys.

We are not required to shroud ourselves in drab, baggy clothes to protect the innocent eyes and hearts of our Christian brothers. Women have hips, boobs, legs, shoulders, lips, and skin. God put ‘em there, and apparently he was content with a fig leaf to cover up the “immodest” parts, so I don’t know why today’s boys need so much extra coddling.

Sorry… used to think this site was cool, but now I see what it’s really about.

While we gladly tolerate differing opinions, and even attacks on ourselves, these kinds of comments (e.g. girls who care about modesty are “spineless”) can come across as ridiculing the very girls the authors are apparently concerned for.

The Rebelution operates under the classical view of tolerance, in which you are not required to agree with your opponent’s ideas, but must respect them as people. We hope that everyone will embrace this principle in any future interaction.

In regard to the specific allegation—that The Modesty Survey places blame on women—we’re afraid this is a misinterpretation of our purpose.

From reviewing the results, we can tell you that 99% the guys who have taken the survey fully recognize their own responsibility to control their thoughts and actions. They are not blaming the girls, but they are admitting that some (not all) things can be a problem for them. The survey results are only intended for Christian girls who wish to assist their brothers in that fight.

It is actually slightly amusing that here we have 1,500+ men humbly admitting their weakness and voicing their need for women’s help—and all at the women’s request, we might add—and we’re still accused of being male chauvinists. [Note: For a more thorough explanation regarding how we view men and women, click here.]

One thing's for sure: you've got to check out the comments.

Bringing the inside out

From Genevieve at Feminine Genius --

Defining -- or being defined

In this rough and tumble piece (not modest fare, to be sure) Kay Hymowitz goes a long way around to say what has been blatantly obvious to anyone who understands the mystery and lure of modesty. Using contemporary anecdotes (yes, our beloved Paris Hilton and Britney Spears) she shows that women have shot themselves in the foot by baring too much to strangers.

The problem with a Britney or a Bentley is not that they are floozies. It is rather that they are, paradoxical as it might seem, naive. They underestimate the magnetic force field created by intimate sexual information and violate the logic of privacy that should be all the more compelling in a media-driven age. People in the public eye always risk becoming objectified; they are watched by hordes of strangers who have only fragmentary information about them. When that information includes details that only their Brazilian waxers should know for sure, it's inevitable that, humans being the perverse creatures that they are, all other facts of identity will fall away. Instead of becoming freer, the exhibitionist becomes an object defined primarily by a narrow sexual datum.

Every publicist knows this. Even in the world of politics, the first question a candidate has to consider is whether he has "name recognition;" and secondly, for those who have it, is the name associated with "positives" or negatives."

Thus, in this modern, fast-paced world, people reduce public figures to bullet points: Monica = intern, blue dress; Arnold = body-builder, Terminator, Maria Shriver; Hillary = universal health care, Whitewater, constant makeovers. You get the drift. People make quick associations and move on -- and a public figure is happy to be on anyone's radar screen, even as a blip (go figure).

But even small town talk and high school memories end up with the same result. Sherry = athlete; Jessica = the brain; Carly = fast. These are probably unfair labels for complex people, but it's how a large world operates. In that sense, one has to carefully guard one's reputation because our fallen nature rarely gives us room to explain. Interestingly, Susan Sontag, it is presumed, understood this.

It was doubtless for this reason that Susan Sontag hesitated to write about her romantic relationship with the photographer Annie Leibovitz. After her death, many accused Sontag of cowardice and hypocrisy for avoiding the L-word, but this seems an unlikely charge. A woman who braved the brutes of Kosovo, Sontag was probably less fearful of having it known that she was in love with a woman than of having it become the defining trait of her public identity; she must have dreaded being boxed in as the "lesbian writer Susan Sontag."

She wanted to define herself, rather than be defined with a bullet point created by others. Thus for her, virtue was not the point, but "ownership" of her public personae was. That we could all be this wise.

The overall point is one of common sense, one that the Church has argued since her inception: women who are free with their bodies will be objectified, which is beneath their dignity. In living chastely in all states of life, a person is most respected as an integral being of depth, intrigue, and complexity.

Ironically, the more you show (physically), the less folks process. Cheap. Fast. Easy. With these bullet points attached to one's name, the face, the personality, the beauty of the soul are shot. Of course, our motherly hearts would never reduce anyone to this inhuman vision, right? When we see more in others -- especially their potential, we remind them of who they are called to be. Modesty says the body is so important, that less is so much more.

** Illustration from WSJ.com

This should be interesting...

See more at The Rebelution

Playing dress-up

Okay, now I can say that I cannot ignore all the commentaries, news and feature articles that I've been stumbling on almost daily in the past 10 days or so. They revolve around the way that girls and women have been dressing up for Halloween and how this occasion would be more appropriately called "Dress-Like-A-Prostitute-Day" because of the costumes.

In the US at least, girls vamp it up when it's time to go to Halloween parties. But this pattern in costumes is about much more than just fashion concerns -- it reflects the direction that society has been taking as regards the practice of decency, genuine respect for oneself and others, the concept of beauty, and even the upbringing of children. In fact, the trend has prompted initiatives from concerned blogging parents like "Moms for Modesty" (which was picked up and linked to by hundreds of blogs, including BlogHer), and a professor at Panamerican University in Mexico to discuss the subject of helping adolescents know themselves and find their authentic style. Thank God there are people who offer sound advice and practical solutions -- this and this are particularly helpful to parents, aunts and uncles, or older siblings. This includes a very specific situation with a little daughter and how to go about explaining some things at her level.

And here's what some pro-active fellas have been doing about the lack of modest clothing in stores! But if it's clear definitions you want as to what modesty is in the first place and how it can be lived, check this out. On the other hand, if you've been living by the "If you've got it, flaunt it" philosophy and equate cleavage-baring and relentless pursuit of career with authentic femininity, this would be an intriguing read for you.

It won't stop at the 'Porn Star' tshirts

Can't think of anything else to say about this item, so I'll just get right to it.

British toy retailer Tesco comes up with something for kids aged 5-7 years. Then advertises the product on its website with "Unleash the sex kitten inside..."?? The £49.97 kit comprises a chrome pole extendible to 8ft 6ins, a 'sexy dance garter' and a DVD demonstrating suggestive dance moves.

Thank God the company has been condemned for selling the pole-dancing toy (I think the product has been removed from the company's direct sales site).

More links to the issue at Feminine Genius. Modestly Yours also discusses the matter here.

How to propagate raunch culture

"Sleazy-Chic" T-Shirts - Harmless?

Dressing the part

Here's another interesting take on the topic of modesty. The blog is called Don't Try This At Home. Don't you just love the header? =)

Moms (and Dads) to the rescue

Thank God for parents like these, hope is more apparent!



One of last week's posts featured some material about the sexualizing of children which a lot of marketing people are unabashedly carrying out. It's like it has become their mission in life based on the way 8- and 10-year-old girls (not just teenagers now) are appearing in ads, made up and dressed to look like streetwalkers. And some real-life girls are actually aping this sort of stuff. Where are their parents??

But we do what we can. Moms and Dads for Modesty (I read somewhere about Dads, too, voicing out their concern about the situation involving their little girls) is one great initiative by Everyday Mommy.

Moms for Modesty Mission Statement

As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.

I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.

I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.

I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.

I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls' and young women’s clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.

Drop by Everyday Mommy and sign up. Or read up. But don't pass up.

Then check out this related post at Mommy Life -- talk about food for thought!


* Thanks to Mommy Life for bringing this to our attention.

Modest contributions

Found the following news feature -- from the archives of The Arizona Daily Star -- via Modestly Yours. Excerpts from that Modestly Yours blog entry which contains a link to the first feature, comes next.

Local teens score one for modesty
By Scott Simonson
arizona daily star

Tucson, Arizona | Published: 09.18.2004

Unable to find stores where girls' clothes weren't too tight, too short or too trashy, a group of Tucson-area teenagers decided to do something about it. The youths challenged retail giants to change their ways. And, in one case, they won. The students collected more than 4,000 signatures on petitions asking stores to carry more clothes for girls who didn't want short skirts or shorter shorts, low-rise jeans, low-cut tops or bare-midriff T-shirts.

As a result, Dillard's is holding a fashion show in Tucson today to spotlight more modest styles, and said it can adjust its inventory here to carry some more conservative clothing. In the battle between barely-there styles of big-box juniors departments and teens who want to flaunt less flesh, score one for the underdogs.

"I'm really proud of what we managed to accomplish," said Wallis Rothlisberger, a 15-year-old sophomore at Sahuaro High School who helped with the petition drive. "I'm really grateful that there are stores out there who listen to what we have to say. I'm really surprised."

Full story here

** Photo from LifeSite

* * * * * * * * * *

Whatever happened to "dressing your Sunday best"? Although many Black churchgoers still dress in their best for Sunday services, most White churchgoers have dispensed with that. "Sunday best" has been replaced with "Sunday casual." It's a controversial topic at many churches. Some believe that God doesn't care what you wear to church, and other (myself included) are disturbed by the skimpy clothes people are wearing to God's house. (I saw tube tops last week at Church, and the organist was wearing a halter top. Sigh.) Last week, a Catholic bishop from Amarillo, Texas issued a letter to his diocese about modesty in dress. In his letter, entitled "Modesty starts with purification of the heart," Bishop Yanta spoke frankly about why it's important to dress modestly, especially at church.

“When the community of believers comes together for the Eucharist (Mass) let no one be a distraction from Jesus or provide temptation (an occasion of sin) to another because of our manner of dress.....How many Catholics this Summer will attend Sunday Mass in tank tops, shorts, flip flops... in dress unbecoming of the Holy Sacrifice… Anyone who dresses like this at Sunday Mass does not know where they are..."

He also quotes from the Catholic Catechism, which addresses modesty several times:

“Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden (CCC 2521)."

“Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person (CCC 2524). "

Full post at Modestly Yours

The wild & the mild

This morning I had been working on a post for over an hour when my pc froze. There was nothing to do but reboot, which would have been okay except my post had no draft saved. Too discouraged to start all over again, I restarted my pc and proceeded on non-blogging business, till now (5 hours later). That post will be for another day perhaps, as it was quite lengthy already before the freezing happened.

Here's a great idea translated into reality! A month or two ago, some commenters on Modestly Yours were talking about t-shirts with witty messages splashed on the front. Angles like shock value, flirty one-liners, provocation and the politics of fashion were "dissected" albeit in a light-hearted manner -- all because of a red t-shirt someone saw some guy wearing in the subway, if I remember correctly. Needless to say, what's emblazoned on said shirt is not the kind that would elicit an appreciative response from any decent woman who knows her worth! Anyway, "what would you like to see on a shirt?" or something like that was posted by a commenter, and Wendy was toying with an idea for if she could actually produce the tees. Well, it was apparently more than a shot in the dark because...here it is!




On the back it reads:

Be daring. Keep your shirt on.
www.modestyzone.net

Recognize the parody? Anyway, besides tops of different styles and colors, other neat products bearing the "Girls Gone Mild" theme are mouse pads, mugs, coasters.

Check out some more cool merchandise here (see why they're "fake," tee-hee!!).

Hodgepodge post

You know how it is to come across so many good reads and then you bookmark them and don't want to delete them later even though the loooong list of bookmarked sites is getting you confused already everytime you try to locate something? That's been my dilemma for the past couple of weeks. I've been postponing putting them here on account of the Christmas season (I wanted to do my part in putting the focus on the significance of the season). But even though Christmas officially ends in a few days yet (Feast of the Epiphany which is always on the 2nd Sunday of January and which, this year, falls on Jan. 8th), I think now is a good time to post these thought-provoking pieces on the blog.

But first, believe me when I tell you that all of the following are worthwhile reading fare, no matter what persuasions guide you. You may yawn at the thought of watching Peter Jackson's take on King Kong, but this review from frontpage.com hardly dwells on special effects and movie trivia. Actually, it evaluates the film while exploring the "feminine virtue and masculine heroism" dimension that Kong and Naomi Watts' character bring to the fore.

And then here's a piece by Gaby Friedman titled "Deconstructing Dowd" which I like reading every once in a while. A chunk of it:

When a woman behaves modestly, she finds it much easier to find the good guys—the ones who aren't interested in bimbos, the ones who won't discard them for younger models after a few years of marriage. These are the kind of men who value a woman for their intelligence, who will be looking for a real relationship, not a flash-in-the-pan good time.

Another of those entertaining reads that I stumbled on last year (and which got me thinking more deeply about masculinity and femininity) is a piece titled Confessions of a Former Hoochi Mama. This article, if I remember correctly, is the one that had me checking back at the site again and again for other interesting and "counter-culture" pieces.

More not-your-usual reads lurked in the Web, to my delight! Now the "Marx" being referred to in My grandma would trash this Marxist rubbish is not by any means the German fellow whose analysis of society revolved around class struggle. It springs from a book authored by Eve Marx and discusses the topic of romantic relationships, albeit humorously.

Finally, are you one to think of prostitution as the world's oldest profession? Or, do you rabidly oppose the mere notion of women making a living out of selling their bodies? Do you hardly give the matter altogether any thought? Well, Prostitution is Not a Profession would be worth checking out wherever your principles lie. It could open your eyes about a thing or two.