Hands to work...

I distinctly remember having a new appreciation for the work produced by one's hands when I spent a great deal of time making baked treats for Christmas. For no reason other than just because I thought I'd try it, I decided to bake brownies, cookies and lemon squares and sell them (and give some to friends and family as gifts). All that measuring, stirring, mixing, kneading and cleaning up helped me find a new respect for the fruits of one's labor in the kitchen. That I had no electric mixer and simply relied on manual mixing to produce orders that eventually poured in gave me more reason to appreciate the hard work involved in manual labor. Hence, the finished product seemed to me a work of love -- one that entailed sacrifice, dedication and careful fashioning.

So when I came across some videos showing how shoes and bags are made, I watched them with interest. Machines are employed for part of the process in the whole manufacturing business, but the care with which each product is crafted using the artisan's hands cannot be missed.

I wish local brands produced videos like these, too, for their wares.

Style with no need for sky-high budgets

If you really get down to the basics and think about what's essential, all you'll need to be dressed for everyday are your basics: tops and bottoms, or dresses, and a sturdy pair of shoes. That's about as basic as it can get.

Considering what to wear day after day shouldn't be a complicated affair that takes up too much of your time, since really the bottom line is all about a) looking decent, and b) being suitably dressed for the weather. That cable-knit cardigan in immaculate white may look impeccable but it won't do if you're taking an hour-long jeepney ride after a tricycle ride and then finishing off with a few blocks' walking -- and it happens to be summer.

Then of course other factors to consider in choosing your outfit for the day would be the kind of work you do, whom you'll be meeting (an appointment with a CEO isn't exactly denims-with-sneakers day), and other such things.

One thing's for sure, though: putting some punch into your daily outfits need not burn a hole in your pocket. Accessories do the trick, and if you know how to mix and match, and being adventurous once in a while is something that appeals to you, then expanding your wardrobe should be a cinch. And you don't have to keep buying new stuff.

Take the scarf, for example. In a tropical country, this isn't really popular unless it's something you'll be wearing as a sort of cover-up at the beach (obviously, I'm talking about those really big bandannas that you can casually wrap around your shoulders or tie around your hips). Scarves can be fun for adding variety to your looks, and you can even wear it as a headwrap, to tie your hair back, as a belt, or to give your tote some character. But for this post, let's focus on using it around your neck -- which may be done in a variety of ways! Think 25 styles with the scarf, and it's all on the video below. Check it out; it's a how-to demonstration of all 25 styles under 5 minutes:




Who says you're destined to look plain when the budget is super-tight?All it takes is creativity, resourcefulness, and a desire to present oneself well. And of course we get help from YouTube sometimes.


* Photo from The Sartorialist

Who wears the pants around here?! (No one.)

A remark a co-worker uttered  yesterday struck me. He said he sees more women in dresses and skirts on Facebook than he does in real life. It seems majority of women nowadays go about their business in pants. Interesting. Is that cause for concern? Frankly, it initially prompted me to think if this observation indicated a departure of sorts from femininity, but then what a blanket statement, huh? It's not as if putting on your Levi's  = abandoning all sense of the feminine. Now that I think about my colleague's remark, it could mean that women in this generation enjoy the benefits of more choices in life. Whether or not one makes good choices is beside the point; what's usually taken for granted is that there are immensely more options for women to choose from -- be it on field of study, social norms, or even wardrobe concerns, as the scenario described here shows.

Notwithstanding the fact that having more options as regards clothing can lead to a more time-consuming decision-making process, some of the available options out there are definitely worth considering! Bottom line really is that clothing is for the purpose of affirming the innate dignity of a person (of course, besides the obvious purpose of providing protection for the body -- even our ancestors from the cave-dwelling days knew this). And accessories... thank God for accessories, which are a practical solution for "expanding" one's wardrobe without purchasing more and more clothes.

Okay, so we acquire some practical know-how from this post, here's a step-by-step guide on adding yet another option to your list of how-to-wear-a-scarf list, pictured above:

Fold scarf in half. Loop around neck. Pull only one strand of the scarf through the loop. Twist loop, then pull other strand through.


* First photo: Black dress by Christian Dior
* Second photo: Outfit by Oscar de la Renta
* Third photo: I have no idea but the photo and how-to instructions, as well as the other two photos, are from Pinterest.

Of walking mannequins and what's 'uso'

When you see those supermodels walk down the runway in blouses unbuttoned to the waist, or in shoes looking like anything but shoes, you know that somewhere in fashion history something must have gone wrong. And as you flip through today’s women’s glossy magazines to reveal pages and pages of girls (and guys) looking stoned or sexually charged, you know that something’s definitely wrong. What’s ironic is that all the hype makes the whole thing look perfectly all right.

A bit of history
Fashion shows have been around for ages. But it was originally the designers’ salons that served as “catwalks” twice a year for the big seasons, as well as a few times in between for other collections. Designers invited buyers to these presentations where models simply wore the clothes for the guests to see before these were released in the stores (much like today’s exclusive movie premieres). Fashion then was already big business, but kept to a simple affair.

Then in the 1970s all that changed. Some guy decided to be different and presented his collection onstage. What was simply a change of venue turned into a radical alteration of the whole concept of the fashion show. For along with the stage came the pageantry, the flamboyance and the circus-like atmosphere characteristic of today’s runway presentations. These elements were inevitable for designers who wanted to show their work to full advantage, since mounted in a big stage, the clothes were too small, plain and unnoticeable. Thus emerged the outlandish hairdos, the gigantic hats and other attention-grabbing props; then later it was “deemed necessary” to unbutton buttons and unzip zippers to bare bosoms, expose derrieres—in other words, to use more flesh than fabric—in successfully presenting the clothes to the public. This is what has come to dominate the shows in every fashion capital from Milan to New York, indicating the “progress” that has taken place in the world of fashion.

Behind the scenes
This obsession with getting everybody’s attention is all about attracting the market and the media, so what better way to do it than exaggerate or go to extremes, right? If attention is what the industry is after, it’s got it, but unwittingly, it traded off much more for that. The face of fashion has evolved into something other than more spectacular. For Grace Mirabella, a Vogue editor-in-chief for 17 years and founder and director of Mirabella magazine (another monthly glossy), the shift from the salon to the runway marked the beginning of the downfall of the fashion industry. And in 1995, the downfall became apparent: sales around the world just dropped. The reason? Designers were coming out with increasingly ridiculous things (read: unwearable) and stamping these with sky-high prices. Like how ridiculous? Try aluminum pants, plastic gowns, sequined underwear or miniskirts that look more like wide belts. And how expensive? Well, you wouldn’t believe it anyway. What’s more, by 1995, trends changed too fast for people to keep up with (who would want to buy a tight-fitting killer-collared satin blouse when the ‘in’ thing after six months would be preppy loose cottons that would make you look like you’re stuck in the ‘70s in your killer collars?).

Here’s a secret that you probably knew all along but didn’t bother thinking about anyway: all this obsession with fashion is fueled basically by two things—industries that are focused on money-making, and consumers (that’s you) who are too gullible. A Claudia Schiffer, therefore, donning an elaborate 5-pound headdress on the Milan runway, or a half-naked Kate Moss in spaced-out makeup in the fall/winter collections, is part of the continuous attempt to attract the media and ensure maximum exposure.

For the jaded and sometimes unthinking press, such shocking events are the new and spectacular materials it looks for. The result: a much-publicized fashion event (where ironically, the weird outfits get the most attention) and, hopefully, whopping sales. Well, admit it. Aren’t photos of men and women in sassy clothing—especially those striking provocative poses—just a little too hard to resist and extremely easy to remember? Any normal human being’s attention is initially drawn to the out-of-the-ordinary, so that’s good news for you (you’re normal after all). The problem is that some people are using this natural tendency for their own money-making purposes at the expense of society’s sensibilities. And most of society don’t even have a clue that their whole value system is gradually being altered.

From the pages to the person’s psyche
So maybe most of us don’t care about the Paris runways or what Jil Sander or Miuccia Prada are up to halfway across the globe. Or maybe you haven’t even heard of these people which doesn’t really matter because their merchandise is way too expensive for most people anyway. However, be convinced that what many acquire are the attitudes that fashion promotion dictates on an impressionable society like ours—a society that usually accepts and imitates whatever comes from Western shores.

Sad to say, the average women’s magazine has stopped thinking about the woman and her real needs. It has instead focused on what will make her buy, at all costs. On the same line, many designers and other fashion practitioners have stopped making the woman beautiful, judging from the flamboyance and frivolity pervading the shows. Especially in the past several years when shades of androgyny and suggestions of homo-eroticism have been penetrating mainstream fashion, looks and entire concepts that affirm femininity have become sparse.

With the fashion industry and the concept of beauty in such a state, it has become harder to remember that a piece of clothing exists for the wearer—not the other way around. Fashion is created for the person and so must revolve around the person. Think about it: when a female model shows up in a flimsy dress, what do you see? A dress put on display by a walking mannequin? A dress that just happens to have a body underneath it? Or a gorgeous body wearing a dress? Whether it’s the first, second or third you choose, you’ve unfortunately fallen into the trap of putting the model on the same level as an object (a mannequin, a hanger with breasts and legs, whatever), the job of which is to make clothing look good. Well, it is easy to forget that those ‘walking mannequins’ are actually not mannequins; neither are they merely flesh and bones (gorgeous flesh and bones for some) but flesh and bones—body—and soul. Hence, those bodies with souls (gorgeous or not) are infinitely more important than the silkiest silk and the most brilliant designs draped over them.

When you see those supermodels walk down the runway in blouses unbuttoned to the waist, or those girls and guys on magazine pages looking stoned or sexually charged, you know it’s only hype. Fashion sense and attitude dictated by them can be merely products of big-time money-making. Fashion sense and attitude without the hype, on the other hand, is the real thing.

So, what’s your idea of fashion?

* * * * * * * * * *

Woman Today magazine
October 1998

The quest for self-mastery of the 'fashionable' kind

Today I got the shock of my life when, upon remembering that I had bought a bottle of Denenes cologne (that brand totally big in the '80s), I scanned the receipt to see how much it cost. Rarely do I make a purchase without first checking the price tag; this time, though, I was making my way around the toiletries section of a department store, looking for some everyday cologne to splash on every few hours or so just to get some reprieve from the summer heat. My last resort was Johnson's Baby Cologne, that which every other girl uses. Nothing wrong with that, but I didn't feel like smelling like every other girl.

So along with about five different scents of Johnson's cologne were other little (and mid-size) bottles of your typical inexpensive splash-on colognes whose scent would be gone probably in an hour or so. Baby Bench and some other brands I can't recall (Baby's Breath and Baby's Giggles weren't part of the lot, though) were in there. Then in between the bottles I saw Denenes, and I was instantly transported back to decades ago. Funny how a scent can have that ability to awaken in one images and even sentiments from another era.

I opened the cap -- it still smelled the same. Oooh, I'd choose this over Johnson's and Baby Bench any day! And that's what I did, chucking the 125ml bottle in the cart that already carried some other items.

Since I assumed that being in the inexpensive section meant being of the same price range, imagine my shock (okay, so it wasn't really shock, but I was motionless for a few moments later at home when I realized that the wee bottle of the big-in-the-'80s fragrance cost me P179). I mean, it's a European brand and all, but hey, if I ran a full marathon at the height of summer, I would probably use up the entire bottle if I splashed on some fragrance before I started running, midway through the run (you'll never know how olfactory stimulation can boost a wannabe-runner on the verge of giving up!), and after crossing the finish line (anytime is a good time to smell nice, especially the times when one is bound to sweat buckets amid the smog in Manila on a summer day). And did I mention it's a small bottle? All 125ml of it?

Nevertheless, I have taken a whiff of the cologne about 10 times already since buying it six hours ago. It is heavenly. And so reminiscent of simpler days. So, I shall forget the shocker P179 price tag and charge it to experience. The lesson remains: never assume the price -- always check the price tag before making a purchase.

Now that photo up there doesn't seem to go well with what I had just related, the latter being all about a P179-bottle of gone-in-an-hour cologne. Hardly opulence, whereas the image above spells sheer luxury. Well, as I had told Petrufied a while back, acquiring fashionable non-essentials can have such a strong pull on some of us (me, to name one), and it's to such people that images like the one above would appeal the most. It's amazing how contentment in a simple life -- one focused on doing good, being faithful to one's calling as an ordinary citizen, and basically making one's way through life while working to know more about the Author of Life -- can be thrown into a whirl, albeit temporarily, by the most superficial things.

Take my case -- several weeks ago, the window display of some French store caught my eye that I ventured further and explored the store. The clothes and bags were interesting, but it was the accessories that threw me off track. They beckoned to me, not because spending money was my obsession (it's not) but because the items looked funky. Some of them were just pretty -- nothing awesome or suggestive of the next "it" accessory that fashion plates will be drooling over -- and would give a plain outfit some punch.

Before I end up launching into a moment-by-moment account of what transpires when an appreciative shopper is contemplating a possible "glamour purchase," let me just say that it takes sheer will power and a sporting spirit to let go of an intensely desired acquisition and to walk out the store. Doing the same when you have enough money with you indicates an even stronger will power and sporting spirit.

In that French store whose name I cannot recall (the label is French and so are the raw materials but the products are manufactured in Portugal, I was told by the salesperson), I admired two bracelets for around five minutes. One had a big silver flower metal adorning a navy blue cotton-like fabric woven like a rope, which could be adjusted according to the wearer's preference and wrist size. I was torn between that and a bunch of thin blue and white elastic bands with little metal nautical symbols like an anchor and a ship's wheel attached to them.

I tried them on. I listened to the salesperson's opinion. I held them up in the mirror. Took them off and walked around the store, admiring the other accessories, before heading back to where the bracelets were. I compared prices. I mentally reviewed my wardrobe. Would it be practical? Should I buy both to suit more of my outfits? Should I buy anything? Do I need it? Would my money be better off being spent on other, more important things?

The moment I decided against making the purchase, frankly I felt better -- relieved even. "Here are more things that I don't need," I remembered a philospher's words when he allegedly found himself surrounded by attractive material goods for sale. And with that, I walked out the store, pleased with my decision and thankful for the divine prompting to set my sights on the essentials of a simple and meaningful life.

About a week after that episode, I found myself walking on the same floor of the mall. Well, what do you know? I came face to face with the French store again. I'm not sure of my reasons for doing it, but I walked in and headed for the spot where the to-buy-or-not-to-buy-contemplation took place. The nautical piece was nowhere in sight (Yes! Someone bought it, thank God!), and there was the rope bracelet hanging from one of the steel bars. It didn't look that appealing to me anymore, though, and that was good. However, I could still feel the tug of making it (or some other funky accessory for that matter) mine. What a mystery.

Dealing with this is probably somewhat like how John Nash eventually dealt with and conquered the imaginary people he could see around him (I learned about his story through A Beautiful Mind) -- he could still see them but he disciplined himself to ignore them. It seems that conquering the urge to buy is like that, too. You just learn not to pay attention to it.

As I told Petrufied, saying no to a superfluous purchase always gives me a sense of victory. A picture like the one above -- soft, fluffy collar, eye-candy shade of blue with white, glimmering cuff and all -- will just simply have to be admired. To acquire such luxury is... well, out of the picture.

Brother, brother

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero."
- Marc Brown

I came across this quote from this blog post at Main Squeeze

He's got the look

Ready for anything in the cold climate -- Pitti Uomo

Classic for the gentlemen -- New York City

Style ought to be effortless, darling




Uh... right. And suited to the weather.

Haha! Effortless and suited to the weather.

Too cool to care about image -- Paris

Color can dictate your palette of emotions for the entire day -- Florence

Style, ease, economy of movement -- Milan

Effortless style, comfort, and moves whichever way he wants. Loves the tropics.
Ready for anything.

* All photos except tropical baby and freezing girl in bonnet from The Sartorialist

We like them as they are

Frankly, for a while now, I can't say that I still get starry-eyed over what most people consider thrilling, like sightings of -- or encounters with -- actors and other such celebrities. Seeing tennis player Roger Federer would probably send me to cloud nine; being in the same room as the Pope would also give me a certain high -- but of course that's on an entirely different plane altogether. Broadcast journalist Anderson Cooper is admirable, so hats off to him, too, and I'd certainly get a thrill out of even just seeing him in person or listening to him talk. Boxer Manny Pacquiao, too, though I am no boxing fan, is one person I would love to shake hands with and even get a picture with! Maybe it's his way of uniting the country, maybe it's his apparent simplicity in responding to questions despite the iconic status he has reached. I really don't know why I regard him so favorably and even anticipate his next match even though I can't tell schoolyard punching apart from what happens on a professional boxing ring (bottom line, in my eyes, both are demonstrations of violence).

But I can get somewhat starry-eyed when it comes to babies and young children. Which is why coming face-to-face with this 7-month-old from the South got me all excited before, during and even after the photo shoot. Needless to say, she didn't feel the same way about me, refusing to break into a smile during those moments I held her *sniff* -- still, she held my heart in her tiny hand :-) Even the way she let out little grunts as we struggled to put her in the first cherry kimono (it was a size too small) I found charming.





This is Queen Elizabeth ("Queenie") Pacquiao, the latest addition to the boxer's brood of four, whom we photographed in the family's home in General Santos City in August. I jetted off to Davao, where photographer Eugene Lara is from, and together with his assistant Ferjan we took the two-hour drive to General Santos for the 10am pictorial. How did the shoot go? You'll just have to get a copy of Baby magazine's October issue to find out :-)

See that small photo of another kid on the cover? That's Princess, Queenie's 3-year-old Ate, who makes an appearance in the same issue via a fashion feature. As with the last kiddie fashion feature we did, I'm feeling very contented about the outcome of this shoot, handled by photographer Ralph Alejandrino, even though it ended up happening in a hotel -- not exactly a child-friendly environment, and not brimming with spots that will bring out the natural glee in children at play.





Well, it turned out quite nicely -- with the help of board games, hand puppets, funny glasses, a pair of colorful maracas and even a little umbrella that Princess decided to twirl and wave around. And of course, though a bit of (ehem) "fashionista-wannabe kind of posing" happened for a few moments upon the urging of the little girl's companions, it became clear that when we let innocence and a wholesome atmosphere prevail, the charm of childhood really does come out. None of the come-hither looks that characterize kiddie images nowadays, nothing like the hands-on-hips supermodel stance and attitude taking over the styling. Just natural, happy, free-spirited, child-like fun. Because our "model" was a child. And it was plain to see that she was having a delightful time; I almost felt like reinforcing her genuine demeanor by telling her, as Ringo would have sung to her, "all [you] gotta do is act naturally." :-)

A meaty (or should I say 'milky'?) read for rainy days

Do you know that giving water to an infant is unnecessary and may even do more harm than good? Unknown to many, breast milk contains all the water that an infant will need and is thus the best source of water for the baby. When given a drink of water, the baby becomes full instead of taking in nutrient-rich milk that only mothers can provide. Even newborns are better off not being given water since they are born with extra water in their bodies and thereby feel no thirst at all.

This is just one of many facts about breastfeeding contained in Baby magazine's latest issue. To mark World Breastfeeding Month, Baby presents an info-packed issue with topics such as how to tell if baby is getting enough milk, nursing while on medication, tips for easier breastfeeding, and alternatives for moms who are unable to nurse.

Other articles in the August issue delve on skin care during pregnancy, maternity leaves, music and your preborn baby, tips on choosing a good crib, teaching your kids to behave in church, getting kids into sports, and money-saving strategies for these tight times.

One thing I'm getting a kick out of in this latest issue is the fashion spread that features nursing wear in such a "light and bubbly" way. Showcased in six pages are clothes by Procreation, Blissful Babes and Bosom Buddy that make breastfeeding more convenient and workable for moms even as they go about their business outside the home -- and have their tots in tow. You'll never guess these are nursing blouses because they fuse style and function so discreetly (and so brilliantly). Natasha Bautista's artwork enhances the photos immensely, and photographer Harvey Tapan's talent for directing subjects produced more than just great photos (just look at those animated facial expressions -- as if Denise, Cate and Lia were actually walking in the rain, amid puddles!). By the way, these three are not professional models but ordinary women who happen to be breastfeeding moms as well.

I do hope these pages do much more than bring nursing fashion in the spotlight, since much thought was poured into the elements in each scene. For instance, we specifically wanted to show the three crossing the street using the pedestrian lane. Now that is part of being a responsible citizen who considers how her actions affect society. And check out the little Philippine flag plastered on the jeepney. It's our way of highlighting our very own on Baby's pages, subtle though it may be.

Lots to read in this issue (don't I say that everytime? Tee-hee!), so go get yourself a copy. Where? SM Department stores nationwide (go to the baby section), major National bookstore outlets, Baby & Co. (The Podium and Power Plant Mall), Babyland (there's one in Robinsons Galleria, Greenhills V-Mall, Shaw Blvd, and others which I don't know about yet), the Shangri-la mall branch of Big & Small Co., and selected Mio Magazines and mag:net plus outlets.

More tidbits about this issue at Drawing Lines.

Tiny fashionistas

Look at these little girls, all dressed up from head to toe. They're even shod in splendid Mary Janes to complete their outfits.


Or are they?










They're just socks! And we're giving them away in this month's issue of Baby magazine. You'll have to get a copy to know how you can bring home a set of these dainty not-quite-shoes. Only a few days more and the mags will be in the stores.

It's all about the baby bump

Baby magazine tackles all things pregnant this month. Besides showcasing fashion for expectant women, the March issue contains lists of must-bring's to the hospital, articles on preventing pregnancy complications, distinguishing “false labor” from the real thing, labor stories as told by husbands, and a month-by-month guide on the baby's growth before birth.

Other topics covered in Baby's latest issue include controlling toddlers' tantrums, a step-by-step guide on bathing your baby, preparing young children for the arrival of a new brother or sister, tips on dealing with bullying, tips on taking brilliant baby photos, and long-term financial planning for the family.

In celebration of Women's Month, featured in this issue, too, are unsung heroines who are quietly making life better for others: volunteer firefighter Jennie Joy Dy, professional home manager Libai Censon, Pro-Life volunteer Sally Ruiz, and Project Brave Kids founder Sigrid Perez.

Regular columns are “Baby's Doctor” by Dr. Lourdes Anne Co, “Childbirth 101” by Rome Kanapi, “Pediatric Dentist” by Dr. Fina Lopez, “Family Finance” by Antonette Reyes, “Understanding Your Child” by Tedi Villasor, and “Fatherspeak” by Manuel Escasa.

Baby magazine, published by Marathon Publishing Inc., is available nationwide at National Bookstore, SM Department Store baby section, Baby & Co. in Power Plant Mall and The Podium, Babyland, Big & Small Co. in Shangri-la Plaza mall, and selected Bufini and mag:net plus outlets. Call 728-3655/56 or email magazine.baby@gmail.com for inquiries.

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As of today, the magazine is still not out in stores. We expect them at the office from the printers Wednesday, the 5th (I know, too long a wait!) and hopefully in some stores on the same day. I so look forward to this issue (well, actually, every issue, but this one is quite meaty) for several reasons. For one thing, it contains the story on Sally Ruiz, the generous woman who adopted little Nonoy to save him from being aborted (blogged about her here). Also, we're featuring maternity fashion in this issue -- first time since I joined the magazine a year ago. Carol, the lady we asked to model the clothes, remarked that she didn't realize until after the shoot that such things took so long -- and a lot of work! Being a non-professional in the field of modeling and entertainment, she required more coaching for the different scenarios. And, being a non-professional in the field of modeling and entertainment, she was spontaneous, natural, fresh, unaffected. Just what we needed!

Flea markets, boundaries and the daddy factor

Yesterday after work, I passed by Greenhills Shopping Center, with the goal of snapping up some good buys (read: affordable and of good quality). Shoes needed replacing, and wardrobe in general needed some more...er, "punch." I like going to the Greenhills tiangge ("flea market") as haggling is part of the shopping experience at this place. I wasn't disappointed -- in less than an hour, I headed for home with some pretty neat items within my budget. But that's not really what this post is about. In one of the stalls, as I waited for the saleslady to return with some tops I requested in my size, a couple happened to pass by. The woman perused a bunch of spaghetti-strapped, lace-fringed clothing items on display while her husband watched. She fingered the pieces one by one, apparently deciding on the right colors then he said "Ha? 'yan? They look like undergarments!"

"Well, this is what she likes," she replied.

I casually glanced at the bright-colored items and then at the couple while inwardly cheering "Go, daddy, go!"

It depends on the parents. You are the parents. It's up to you to guide your kids into making wise fashion choices. Do not lose your confidence in bringing up your kids properly... went on in my mind, hoping for mental telepathy to do its thing at that moment.

The saleslady I was waiting for arrived at that moment, my good buys in hand. The husband apparently held his ground because he and his wife walked away without purchasing any of the spaghetti-o innerware-being-marketed-as outerwear pieces. I know he somehow reiterated his protest over his daughter wearing something like that but I was too busy with settling my own purchases to catch the exact words. My thought as I walked off with my shopping bags: sometimes a Daddy really needs to put his foot down, especially when it comes to guiding his daughters, even when it's only about the seemingly insignificant issue of fashion.




Guess what -- all that is just an intro! I really wanted to share a post I read at Modestly Yours a couple of weeks ago (two posts actually). The first dwells on an incident that's not hogging the headlines anymore yet the lessons that can be drawn from it are timeless. I'm posting it in full. The second, which touches on fashion choices, is quite sensible and thought-provoking (which all entries in Modestly Yours are); it springs from the recent death of designer Liz Claiborne and takes off from an article in The Wall Street Journal. Both posts somehow weave the role of parents into these matters, but the second zeroes in on the crucial role of fathers, plus the sense of propriety in general.

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An Open Letter to Paris Hilton

Dear Paris-

Congratulations on being released from jail last week. We don't know each other, but due to the choices you've made in the last few years, I can't so much as log-in to my email without reading the latest headlines about you, so since I know what's going on, I feel compelled to offer my take on your situation.

You and are close in age and I grew up in a privileged family too, although not nearly as wealthy as yours. But there's one thing that my parents were able to give me that your parents' endless money apparently could not buy for you - boundaries.

It seems that up until last month, your life was just one big party after another and there wasn't any form of attention or exposure that was too much for you. Although I read about how during your first few days in jail you would not let yourself eat or drink for fear of being photographed on the toilet by one of the guards as your jail cell had no privacy. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

About twenty days ago your party ended. Not when you went into jail the first time, but after your wealthy, well-connected family pulled out all the stops to get you on house arrest, and the judge sent you back to the slammer anyway. That was probably the first time in your life that someone enforced boundaries even though you're 26 years old.

I believe that you must have felt completely hopeless and helpless at that point. From riches to rags. (It was "The Simple Life," but there was no make-up and crew. It was just you and that small cell.)

Feeling helpless isn't always a bad thing, though. There's a verse from Psalms that says "From the depths, I have called out to You, God." Sometimes we are only motivated to call out to God when everything we have has been stripped away. Apparently that happened to you in jail.
I know people are debating about whether or not this change in you is real, but for your sake and for the sake of all the kids that look up to you, I hope it is. (I have two small girls who I would shelter from your escapades anyway if they were to resume, although what goes on in the media ends up trickling down to the rest of society no matter how hard you try to stay away from it.)

Paris, fame and wealth are not virtues or vices. They are responsibilities. For whatever reason God decided that you should be born into one of the most wealthy, well-known families out there today. The fact that you were born rich and famous was not your choice, but Paris, what you do you do with that money and fame lies solely on you and might well be the very purpose of your existence. So please, take a look at what you've been given, and make yours a meaningful life.

Best wishes for the future,
Allison Shapiro

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[Author Naomi Schaefer Riley] then quotes a woman dear to my heart, Stacy London, the co-host of "What Not To Wear:" "You don't want to show too much skin at work--unless you're a lifeguard." True. Ms. London, whose father is Herb London, president of the Hudson Institute (a conservative policy research organization), attributes to her father the instillation of "a certain sense of propriety and right and wrong in me, which plays into my fashion sensibility."

Read the whole thing here

Playing dress-up

Okay, now I can say that I cannot ignore all the commentaries, news and feature articles that I've been stumbling on almost daily in the past 10 days or so. They revolve around the way that girls and women have been dressing up for Halloween and how this occasion would be more appropriately called "Dress-Like-A-Prostitute-Day" because of the costumes.

In the US at least, girls vamp it up when it's time to go to Halloween parties. But this pattern in costumes is about much more than just fashion concerns -- it reflects the direction that society has been taking as regards the practice of decency, genuine respect for oneself and others, the concept of beauty, and even the upbringing of children. In fact, the trend has prompted initiatives from concerned blogging parents like "Moms for Modesty" (which was picked up and linked to by hundreds of blogs, including BlogHer), and a professor at Panamerican University in Mexico to discuss the subject of helping adolescents know themselves and find their authentic style. Thank God there are people who offer sound advice and practical solutions -- this and this are particularly helpful to parents, aunts and uncles, or older siblings. This includes a very specific situation with a little daughter and how to go about explaining some things at her level.

And here's what some pro-active fellas have been doing about the lack of modest clothing in stores! But if it's clear definitions you want as to what modesty is in the first place and how it can be lived, check this out. On the other hand, if you've been living by the "If you've got it, flaunt it" philosophy and equate cleavage-baring and relentless pursuit of career with authentic femininity, this would be an intriguing read for you.

'Knitworking'

Two friends, Susan and Florence, went on a trip to Peru and discovered entire villages of expert knitters who have kept the tradition alive all these years. They decided to create their own line of knitted products for kids, starting with sweaters and hats, "often with a finger puppet peeping out of a pocket." Thus began something they named Blabla...


** Do check out the "about blabla" page -- cute photos (including those of the Peruvian knitters at work) and interesting bios are in there.

What does the devil wear?

I've read such remarkably mixed reviews about this movie, I don't know whether to look forward to it or completely ignore its showing in Manila theaters while putting up with the expected "toast of the town" status that fashionistas, fashion victims and fashion designers will most likely stamp it with.

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Although I cannot wholeheartedly recommend this film, I would be a hypocrite if I did not admit to enjoying it. Unlike the computer-generated, special effects nonsense that reigns at the box office today, this is a real movie. It has characters, superb acting, a plot with a beginning, middle, and end, and from start to finish it looks good. It is the first feature film from David Frankel, who previously worked in television.

It tells the story of a young girl from the provinces (a recent journalism grad from Northwestern University) who attempts to make her way in the great city, New York. Its heroine, Anne Hathaway, the heroine, enters a sea of sharks, barely knowing how to swim, but she’s smart and resourceful, as well as talented, and soon begins to make headway. Or to switch the metaphor, she’s an innocent who must become as wise as a serpent. Structurally, this is the basic comic plot in which a protagonist starts out in a “mad” world dominated by an oppressive, life-denying blocking figure only to escape to a “green” world of a more fulfilling life. Generically, it belongs to the working girl category and to those films featuring fashion shows such as Roberta (1935) and Vogues of 1938 (1937).

But my reservations about the film arise not from its approving satire of the “world,” an accepting mockery whose lineage goes back to the Roman poet Horace, as opposed to the savage indignation of a Juvenal or a Swift. It results from the film’s sexual morality. Hathaway has a boyfriend. Though he appears to be more authentic, that is, more run down and beat looking than she, and less corrupted by the world, he too wants to advance his career as a chef. The trouble is that they live together. If the film depicted them as having a chaste courtship, it would appear unreal to the majority of audiences. Such is the nature of romantic love according to the conventions of our time. A 20s-something virginal woman, as in one of the Seinfeld episodes, can only elicit curiosity and ridicule.

Dr. Johnson criticised the novel Tom Jones because its hero, before he reformed, engaged in illicit amours. But such sin followed by repentance was the time-honoured way of showing the world “as it is” and the world “as it ought to be.” The Devil Wears Prada makes no such distinction. Its ambivalence about the way of the world leaves me with a mixed response. Much of what I saw I liked, but in the end I wanted to see art wed to morality, not just engaged in a flirtation.

Full review at MercatorNet

Modest contributions

Found the following news feature -- from the archives of The Arizona Daily Star -- via Modestly Yours. Excerpts from that Modestly Yours blog entry which contains a link to the first feature, comes next.

Local teens score one for modesty
By Scott Simonson
arizona daily star

Tucson, Arizona | Published: 09.18.2004

Unable to find stores where girls' clothes weren't too tight, too short or too trashy, a group of Tucson-area teenagers decided to do something about it. The youths challenged retail giants to change their ways. And, in one case, they won. The students collected more than 4,000 signatures on petitions asking stores to carry more clothes for girls who didn't want short skirts or shorter shorts, low-rise jeans, low-cut tops or bare-midriff T-shirts.

As a result, Dillard's is holding a fashion show in Tucson today to spotlight more modest styles, and said it can adjust its inventory here to carry some more conservative clothing. In the battle between barely-there styles of big-box juniors departments and teens who want to flaunt less flesh, score one for the underdogs.

"I'm really proud of what we managed to accomplish," said Wallis Rothlisberger, a 15-year-old sophomore at Sahuaro High School who helped with the petition drive. "I'm really grateful that there are stores out there who listen to what we have to say. I'm really surprised."

Full story here

** Photo from LifeSite

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Whatever happened to "dressing your Sunday best"? Although many Black churchgoers still dress in their best for Sunday services, most White churchgoers have dispensed with that. "Sunday best" has been replaced with "Sunday casual." It's a controversial topic at many churches. Some believe that God doesn't care what you wear to church, and other (myself included) are disturbed by the skimpy clothes people are wearing to God's house. (I saw tube tops last week at Church, and the organist was wearing a halter top. Sigh.) Last week, a Catholic bishop from Amarillo, Texas issued a letter to his diocese about modesty in dress. In his letter, entitled "Modesty starts with purification of the heart," Bishop Yanta spoke frankly about why it's important to dress modestly, especially at church.

“When the community of believers comes together for the Eucharist (Mass) let no one be a distraction from Jesus or provide temptation (an occasion of sin) to another because of our manner of dress.....How many Catholics this Summer will attend Sunday Mass in tank tops, shorts, flip flops... in dress unbecoming of the Holy Sacrifice… Anyone who dresses like this at Sunday Mass does not know where they are..."

He also quotes from the Catholic Catechism, which addresses modesty several times:

“Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden (CCC 2521)."

“Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person (CCC 2524). "

Full post at Modestly Yours

The way we wear

A few months ago, Mexico was the site of the International Congress on the Emotional and Sexual Education of Adolescents. Among the participants was Maria del Carmen Bernal, a professor of Education at the Panamerican University in Mexico, who was also interviewed by MercatorNet about the need for teenagers to get to know themselves and to find their own authentic style. An excerpt:

MercatorNet: Fashion itself reflects broader cultural trends. How would you describe this wider environment today?

Dr Bernal: We are living in an environment that entices us all the time with external things. It stops people getting in touch with their own feelings and thinking about things deeply. People are looking for a playful approach to life, to make fun and pleasure a way of life.

MercatorNet: How does this show up in the world of fashion?

Dr Bernal: The constant search for new sensations leads to an unrealistic look. The way people appear has less and less to do with their personal identity, and this is a very worrying issue. Anxiety among young people to achieve the "right look" while suppressing their natural inclinations leads to loss of self-esteem, dissatisfaction and permanent frustration.

At the same time as they are losing touch with their inner selves, they develop an obsession with the physical self -- with their health, diet and exercise, which is all part of this obsession with appearance as a medium to connect with others and feel part of the group.

MercatorNet: How can you get teenagers to see through the manipulation?

Dr Bernal: We have to educate children in aesthetics, or taste. This means facilitating contact with nature and the arts. Developing their powers of observation and the capacity for amazement. Feeding the imagination and memory by means of literature and good movies. Encouraging self-knowledge. And helping young people to be original, not letting them fall into the uniformity that exists today.

Along with this we have to show children how to achieve self-control, so that they are not carried along by a situation but are able to assert their personality and their values. Self-control is the art of conquering and governing yourself -- not forgetting the fact that we are vulnerable to crashes and will probably need to bounce back countless times.

Full interview at MercatorNet

This you have GOT to read!

It talks about flip-flops. It talks about manners. It talks about appropriate wear and tripping on your own feet. It talks about the beach and the office.

Whether you're one to have your toes painted weekly, couldn't care less about shoes, or basically know the difference between espadrilles and Mary Janes ... whether you're always in search of the "perfect pair" or have never heard of Manolo Blahnik, whether you're barefoot most of the day or your feet are in agony without adequate arch support ... this piece you have GOT to read. Manolo's ideas and the comments that follow are not so much about footwear as these are about the attitudes reflected behind our "shod-dy" choices.

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Flip-Flopping Away the Career

Manolo says, here is the obvious article about the various career dangers of the flip-flops.

With more women wearing flip-flops to the office this summer, U.S. style gurus are warning that the casual shoe once mainly seen on the beach could be damaging to careers — as well as to feet.

[…]

An online survey conducted for retailers Old Navy and Gap found flip-flops topped the list of wardrobe items that college and high school students planned to wear to work this summer.

More than 31 percent of women said flip-flops were the single “must have” item for work this summer.

But many companies disagree.

“The dress code says no beach wear and flip-flops are considered beach wear,” said a spokeswoman for BNP Paribas.

Style gurus warn that flip-flops, which are worn mainly by younger women, could be harmful to a career.

“Shoes convey the mood of a woman. Wearing flip-flops conveys the mood that you are relaxed and on vacation. That’s not a good message in the office,” said Meghan Cleary, a style commentator who wrote the book “The Perfect Fit: What Your Shoes Say About You.”

The Manolo’s internet friend the Miss Meghan she is, as usual, exactly correct. Unless you are working as the waitress at the beach cafe, or are the Jimmy Buffet, you should not be wearing the flip-flops to your place of professional employment.

And it is silly that we must even discuss this, just as it was silly last year when we were compelled to discuss the flip-flopping in the House of Whiteness.

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Comments:

Gina Says:
June 29th, 2006 at 11:14 am

I think I have seen it all: flip-flops at a funeral. The mourner was in her late teens; she was wearing a very appropriate black dress. But she was wearing flip-flops on her feet. At her grandmother’s funeral.

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Peter Gøthgen Says:
June 29th, 2006 at 11:59 am

I teach at a public middle school. We were told several times that flip-flops are a no-no for both students and teachers. Many wore them anyway.

What they fail to realize is that it becomes a safety issue. If the building catches fire (after seeing the build-up of lint in the dryers I was surprised it hadn’t already), or some other emergency happens, you need to be able to get out of the building. Flip flops = tripping = pile of people = obstruction = danger for even those smart enough to wear proper footwear.

Plus, as the wife says, they are ugly.

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Nabushi Says:
June 29th, 2006 at 12:14 pm

Manolo, thank you for highlighting this article. I work at a university, my department hires undergraduates as support staff, and we have a policy against flip flops in the office. We ask them to either wear “real” shoes or bring them to change into while they are at work - otherwise they are sent home to put on some real shoes, which effectively makes them “late.” Anyway, they always want to know WHY - well, no one wants to see their naked, possibly dirty, feet, and now we have THIS article to hand to them! Many, many thanks! (we also have a policy against exposed flesh between the neckline and the knees, after having seen far too many stretch-marked muffin tops, hairy butt cracks, and the center tips of bra underwires - but maybe that’s for another blog)

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Zarba Says:
June 29th, 2006 at 1:58 pm

Why would a parent allow their teenager to wear the flip-flops to a funeral???

A well-adminstered beating should suffice to make the point.

It’s a sad commentary on the state of parenthood that someone would be so afraid of offending their little “Britni, y’know, with an ‘i’”, that they would allow their child to be so inappropriately dressed for such a solemn occasion.

And yes, you may wear the flip flops to your interview. It makes it that much easier for me to weed out the unqualified candidates. I’m amazed that someone would have the temerity to ask “Why?”. BECAUSE IT’S INAPPROPRIATE BUSINESS ATTIRE, STUPID!

Read more comments at Manolo's Shoe Blog

P.S. Here's a previous post that contains a light but insightful read about them flip-flops once again. Hope you get a kick out of it, too!

How even our fashion choices have repercussions

No introduction necessary. As always, a worthy read from Feminine Genius:

We affect others by our choices

This young father, Eric Johnson, who has a six year old daughter, has encountered a problem in the least likely place, the parish pews around him on Sunday:

It's tough to do that when many older girls dress like trollops at Mass. We can shield our kids from "inappropriate" entertainment, and gently guide them toward good behavior, but we do have to go to church every Sunday. Now that the weather is warm, clothing standards completely fall apart.

What he finds odd is that these aren't necessarily irreverent girls:

The most recent painful incident of this kind was a few weeks ago, when our parish had its spring carnival. At the Mass right before it started, there were plenty of people dressed down for the event. A couple of teenage girls were sitting two rows in front of me and my older three kids. One of the girls had on very short shorts, and at one point during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I glanced up and saw that they didn't entirely cover her rear end.

Now, I know this girl and her family: she lives around the corner and babysits our kids. Her sister also babysits sometimes, her brother comes over occasionally and plays with my boys, and her mom is a family friend. But I didn't really need to see her butt crack (or anyone else's).

The bizarre thing is that she's a nice kid. During the Mass, she and her friend were completely reverent and prayerful. We were all sitting in the balcony, which has no kneelers, and they knelt the whole time on the hard floor. There weren't any adults making them behave, either -- they genuinely wanted to act correctly.

An enormous part of this is the simple fact that fashions today are what we reserved for red light districts before the 1970's. Kids have no idea that we associate "baby doll" tops, lace in certain areas, and pelvic bones with solicitation -- it's just "what everyone wears!"

What I find appalling is that youngsters have a fetish for underwear. Colours, labels, styles, and name brands are all broadcast visibly by both boys and girls. It's so de rigeur -- and yet virtually boring, even to them. The proverbial envelope has been pushed, and nothing shocks -- so to go around in pyjamas or with underwear advertised is the last vestige of ho-hum trendiness. As the slippery slope nears its logical end, there's little left to push. And yet, as Eric notes, their bored choices are sowing toxic seeds to eager young wannabes:

Once again, this shows the fallacy of our age's individualistic ethos, which is the idea that "I can do what I want, and it won't affect you." The way we dress and act has a profound affect on other people, especially impressionable young ones. What we do with our bodies speaks much louder than any words we say, and I wish more parents were mindful of that.

Saint Maria Goretti, Saint Dominic Savio, intercede for our youth!

Advice for the young at heart

Actually, I just wanted to use the song title for this post's title, but even if you don't consider yourself "young at heart" this could be mighty interesting for you, too!

Everybody could use some advice -- whether it's about money matters, a relationship, the in-laws or a pair of shoes. After all, wisdom takes a lifetime to acquire (come to think of it, a lifetime is not even enough to develop perfect decision-making and to know everything that there is to know about life).

But thank goodness for the advice columnists and the counselors, guidance is not too hard to find. Some of them provide really sensible and comforting counsel, while others...well, let's just say one's life can take a turn for the worst if the advice is heeded.

Manolo is one such person whose advice is always a joy to read -- such light-heartedness and optimism, and he manages to bring to light the hundred other perspectives to consider even if shoes, they are the topic of the conversation. From Manolo's Shoe Blog, the sample here is:

Dear Manolo,

Help me! In May I’m accompanying my boyfriend to the christening of his niece in Denver. This will be the first time I’ll be meeting his very Catholic, very conservative parents.

Shannon

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friend she is indeed most lucky to be able to visit the beautiful mountains of the Rockies in the springtime. Do not forget to pack the hiking boots so that if things with the family begin to go bad, there is the possibility of the long walk alone through the alpine flowers.

Ha! The Manolo he jokes.

Indeed the Manolo suspects that this family of the boyfriend they are the wonderful peoples, for in the fact, did they not raise the wonderful son? And if he is not the wonderful son, why is the Manolo’s friend going with him to Denver?

Read Manolo's advice in full here

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A more serious matter is tackled in "Ask Theophilus." I know a lot of women can relate to this piece of advice!

As for you, my dear, you must stop confusing pity with romantic love; that's a disorder in your feelings. Some guys have a soft spot for broken girls. You, I suspect, have a soft spot for broken guys. What a man with broken emotions needs is a counselor, not a wife; what a woman with an extra-soft heart needs is a husband, not a patient. All those novels and movies where the girl marries a damaged guy and then "fixes" him are frauds. The marital relationship is one thing; the therapeutic relationship is another.

Read the advice, the problem and two other matters at Boundless webzine