Sage advice for us plodding on in the 21st century

One word that may sum it up: decency

Should the lady whose image appears above be unfamiliar to you, it is quite easy to find out all about her and the things she stands for. Fortunately, in this day and age in which the development of technology happens much faster than the passing on of values such as decency, that technology gives us the opportunity to look up that which we ought to know and live.

If the other name included in the advice above is unheard of, you may look it up as well. Or not.

Learning aboard the schoolbus

Grandma and the school kids -- what a heartwarming story.

Read Kids learn kindness from Grandma in the window

Busy signals and party lines

Making calls on a rotary-dial telephone is one thing I would love to do again regularly; alas, I'm told that installing such a device today would not facilitate phone conversations but merely add a vintage touch to a home's aesthetic style. I heard "analogue," "digital" and other such phrases in the exchange about why a rotary dial-phone would not work anymore in these times, but I didn't really understand it. So, thinking back to the days of party lines and seemingly endless dialing (specifically when lots of zeroes are on the phone number) seems more nostalgic than ever!

Seeing the images above reminded me of this experience which would probably make no sense to anyone who grew up in the age of smartphones (or even just mobile phones) without the benefit of perspective provided by experiencing the use of rotary-dial. Well, in the grand scheme of things, it is merely a person-to-person communication device from a different stage in the history of technological advancement. But as in any change in society's lifestyles, the virtues that were acquired and developed in the course of using such devices are invaluable. You'll probably see a little of what I mean if you read about my experience of making song requests on the radio (that's the link provided above) over the course of decades -- and that means doing so using different gadgets, depending on what era you're talking about!

If you fancy a closer look at the telephone experience, check this out as well:

10 aspects of old telephones that might confuse young readers

Enjoy!


ADDENDUM:

A page from history --

Dec. 1958: Queen Elizabeth becomes the first person in Britain to make a long-distance call sans the help of an operator.

The first long-distance call made in Great Britain without the help of an operator was made by Queen Elizabeth in 1958. It was a big event!

Love better, live better

The superior man thinks always of virtue; 
the common man thinks of comfort. 

- Confucius

I came across this quote on one of Petrufied's blog posts. 

Following the Shepherd along "greener pastures"

REUTERS/BRIAN SNYDER

Pope Francis is currently in the United States, having just planed in from Cuba where he spent three days of his 8-day apostolic journey in America. No doubt this is one of the most vital trips he is taking, since the United States is where much of the developments in the political and social spheres worldwide originate, whether we like it or not. Indeed, when the US sneezes, the whole world catches a cold (well, the "whole" can be an exaggeration but you know what I mean).

If you're active in social media, you'll see loads of materials (articles, videos, memes, opinion pieces, news reports, etc.) on the 78-year-old Pope's apostolic visit and the response of the people of Cuba and the United States. So much to sift through, quite a lot to figure out. To help anyone interested to at least know a little of what's been going on and what the Pope has really been saying, below are links to a couple of speeches and transcript of an in-flight interview which he has made on the trip.


Excerpt from the Pope's speech to families in Cuba (Sept. 22):

It is in the home that we learn fraternity, solidarity, and not to be overbearing. It is in the home that we learn to receive, to appreciate life as a blessing and to realize that we need one another to move forward. It is in the home that we experience forgiveness, that we are continually asked to forgive and to grow. In the home there is no room for 'putting on masks': we are who we are, and in one way or another we are called to do our best for others. That is why the Christian community calls families 'domestic churches'. It is in the warmth of the home that faith fills every corner, lights up every space, builds community. At those moments, people learn to discover God’s love present and at work.

In many cultures today, these spaces are shrinking, these experiences of family are disappearing, and everything is slowly breaking up, growing apart. We have fewer moments in common, to stay together, to stay at home as a family. As a result, we don’t know how to be patient, we don’t know how to ask permission or forgiveness, or even to say 'thank you', because our homes are growing empty. Empty of relationships, empty of contacts, empty of encounters.
...
The family is a school of humanity which teaches us to open our hearts to others’ needs, to be attentive to their lives. Amid all the difficulties troubling our families today, please, never forget one thing: families are not a problem, they are first and foremost an opportunity. An opportunity which we have to care for, protect and support.

Text of the Pope's speech to families in Santiago, Cuba

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Excerpt from the Pope's in-flight interview from Cuba to the USA:

Jean Louis de la Vaissiere, AFP: In the last trip to Latin America, you harshly criticized the capitalist liberal system. In Cuba, it appears that your critiques of the communist system weren’t very strong, but “soft.” Why these differences?

Pope Francis: In the speeches that I made in Cuba, I always put the accent on the social doctrine of the Church. But the things that must be corrected I said clearly, not “perfumed,” or soft. But, also the first part of your question, more than what I have written – and harshly – in the encyclical, also in Evangelii gaudium, about wild, liberal capitalism – I didn’t say it. All that is written there. I don’t remember having said anything more than that. If you remember, let me know. I’ve said what I’ve written, which is enough, enough.

Full transcript of the in-flight interview from Cuba to US

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Excerpt from the Pope's speech to the bishops of the USA (Sept. 23):

We all know the anguish felt by the first Eleven, huddled together, assailed and overwhelmed by the fear of sheep scattered because the shepherd had been struck. But we also know that we have been given a spirit of courage and not of timidity. So we cannot let ourselves be paralyzed by fear.

I know that you face many challenges, that the field in which you sow is unyielding and that there is always the temptation to give in to fear, to lick one’s wounds, to think back on bygone times and to devise harsh responses to fierce opposition.

And yet we are promoters of the culture of encounter. We are living sacraments of the embrace between God’s riches and our poverty. We are witnesses of the abasement and the condescension of God who anticipates in love our every response.

Dialogue is our method, not as a shrewd strategy but out of fidelity to the One who never wearies of visiting the marketplace, even at the eleventh hour, to propose his offer of love (Mt 20:1-16).

Text of the Pope's speech to the bishops of the USA

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Two interesting articles:

Pope Francis is not 'progressive' -- he's a priest

How to read the pontiff as he visits the United States of America

Pope Francis' popularity bridges great divides

 

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And here's something that will certainly delight a lot of infanticipating moms:

The Pope delivers a rare blessing to pregnant women from Cuba (text and video)

Schedule of the papal visit in the USA

ADDENDUM:


Excerpt from the Pope's speech at the US Congress (Sept. 24)

In this land, the various religious denominations have greatly contributed to building and strengthening society. It is important that today, as in the past, the voice of faith continue to be heard, for it is a voice of fraternity and love, which tries to bring out the best in each person and in each society. Such cooperation is a powerful resource in the battle to eliminate new global forms of slavery, born of grave injustices which can be overcome only through new policies and new forms of social consensus.

Here I think of the political history of the United States, where democracy is deeply rooted in the mind of the American people. All political activity must serve and promote the good of the human person and be based on respect for his or her dignity. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” (Declaration of Independence, 4 July 1776). If politics must truly be at the service of the human person, it follows that it cannot be a slave to the economy and finance. Politics is, instead, an expression of our compelling need to live as one, in order to build as one the greatest common good: that of a community which sacrifices particular interests in order to share, in justice and peace, its goods, its interests, its social life. I do not underestimate the difficulty that this involves, but I encourage you in this effort.

Pope Francis' speech before the US Congress

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More interesting articles:

Pope Francis' awesome drop mic moment on religious liberty


Pope Francis makes unscheduled visit to Little Sisters of the Poor to show his support


Away from Capitol, Pope Francis sees face of St. Joseph in homeless

A brood of 6 boys welcomes baby sister!

"She is cuter than I thought she would be."

That's what one of the six boys of Stephen and Cher Lair remarked with adorable candidness, referring to his new baby sister, whom he and the rest of the family welcomed in August with much anticipation. One of my sisters pointed out that the whole thing is quite impressive -- for one thing because we rarely come across instances (in mass media anyway) of young children in a family demonstrating such other-centered traits, "and they're boys at that," she added. Well, let me just leave it at that and let you read the story or watch the video (or both). It is quite uplifting even without the cuteness of the little boys.

Check out the video

The 12-year-old 'angel' of Guatemala

The 'angel' of Guatemala: 12-year-old chooses death over gang violence

Guatemala City, Guatemala, Jul 16, 2015 / 03:38 pm (CNA).- When 12-year-old Ángel Ariel Escalante Pérez was confronted by gang members demanding that he kill a bus driver in Guatemala, he said no.

It turned out to [be] a life or death decision.

The gang members threatened to kill Angel if he did not murder the bus driver. He refused to do so and was thrown off a bridge.

Angel was found in critical condition on June 18, around 1 p.m. He was discovered below the Belice bridge in Guatemala City by a group of neighbors from the Jesús de la Buena Esperanza (Jesus of Good Hope) settlement.

Full story

On Capt. Picard, wedding cakes, and the real meaning of tolerance

It's not only in the United States that bakers are being forced into closing their businesses and being threatened with lawsuits if they refuse to extend their services to some clients. An incident involving another wedding cake and a same-sex couple happened in Ireland, and Jean-Luc Picard a.k.a. Patrick Stewart stated his position on the matter. Find out why he took the side of the bakers.

And do you equate tolerance with never disagreeing with others? Do you lose your cool because other people seem to be full of bigotry? You may just learn a thing or two from the stuff Chris Stefanick says here:

Pondering "I do," "I want," "I believe," and other phrases we take for granted

Here's something that struck me today:

Why are Christians working so hard to defend traditional marriage?

The answer comes from what marriage is about. Marriage is not about special rights one receives from the government in order to have a better life. Marriage is an institution by which humans learn to conform to their gender role in love in order to serve God, their spouse, and their children—then their community, etc. The issue of gay marriage is that people want to force marriage to be something it never was: a relationship about my feelings, wants, desires, and passions. The redefinition of marriage necessitates a fundamental paradigm shift. In essence, the new marriage definition removes God as necessary, conforms the spouse and children to serve the person's idea of his/her own sexual role, and demands the community support the person's idea of his/her own sexual role. Traditional marriage teaches innately sacrificial love, but new marriage demands selfishness. Which one is better for society?

- from the Facebook page  We Defend Marriage -- and We're Gay 



There have also been several incidents in the US involving weddings, cakes, and bakers, but I can't say that I've read each of the stories entirely -- in fact, I've only relied on comments I've come across on social media (from different sides of the issues) to form an idea of what may have transpired. So I'm unable to provide any accurate details about those happenings (I'll share some of them in another post the first chance I get). However, here below is something I can definitely say shows the principle guiding the conviction of many -- particularly those who strive to remain faithful to the teachings of the living God, when they choose to recognize only marriages between persons of the opposite sex.

Don't you think this makes the issue a tad clearer? I do.

"The Fight of the Century"

May 2, 2015: the day Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather face each other in the ring for a much anticipated match.

Perfect diversion, too, from the scorching summer heat we're experiencing in the Philippines.

Go, Pacman!! 


And if you don't exactly pay attention to boxing, here's something I found quite interesting (and helpful) -- A Non-Boxing Fan's Guide to Mayweather-Pacquiao

"Do as I do"

A holy "shadow" finally comes out into the light

That is how some have regarded the raising to the altars of Alvaro del Portillo, a Spanish priest and the successor of St. Josemaria Escriva as the prelate of Opus Dei, a Personal Prelature of the Catholic Church. He was beatified on Sept. 27, 2014, with more than a hundred thousand from around the world trooping to Madrid, his birthplace, for the ceremony.

Blessed Alvaro del Portillo

Fr. Francis Ongkingko, a priest of the Prelature, pens a reflection of his encounter with the recently-declared-Blessed Alvaro:

“A Teacup without Tea”

By Rev. Father Francis Ongkingko*

“You are, as we say in Spain, like a teacup without tea!” remarked Bishop Álvaro del Portillo. This was his amusing reply when he learned that I didn’t really know a single Chinese word despite my very Chinese-sounding family name.

Back then in 1992, this sounded like a mere passing remark by Bishop Álvaro, or “the Father” –as we familiarly and fondly call him– to lighten the conversation for his Filipino son who was nervously wrestling with the vocabulary and grammar of spoken Spanish.

It would only be years later, after reading a more recent and detailed biography of Father Álvaro, that I would realize how intensely he had set his heart and mind on the expansion of Opus Dei in Asia. Knowledge of either Mandarin or Cantonese was indispensable to begin and incorporate oneself in that vast continent thirsty for God. Thus, his passing commentary was something both serious and urgent.

It wasn’t actually my first time to meet Father Álvaro. I was fortunate enough to greet him personally when he visited the Philippines in 1987.  I had just known Opus Dei then. Listening to him opened many horizons, especially the mission that we, his children in the Philippines, had in the whole of Asia.

He also reminded us about our role in the Church, as we had to be vital supports for the Pope, the Bishops and our other faithful. His personal meetings with then Pope John Paul II helped us to pray more and accompany closely the Holy Father.

I remember one particular anecdote about a late afternoon audience he had with Saint John Paul II. Noticing that the Pope arrived very tired and was dragging his feet, Father Álvaro said with filial concern, “Holy Father, you are very tired.” John Paul II promptly replied, “If I’m not tired at this hour of the day, then I’m not doing my job.” This and many other stories from Father Álvaro filled us with a richer outlook in our faith and also with greater optimism to carry out our apostolic mission.

I now return to my story about the empty teacup. Not only because that was perhaps my last encounter with Father Álvaro, but because it now affords me with a new lesson.

Indeed, it would have been wonderful if my ‘teacup had some tea’ but learning Mandarin may not be one of the chapters in my life. I realized, however, whether one knows Chinese or not, we all have –as Father Álvaro had taught and lived all his life– the serious obligation to fill ourselves to the brim. This is by carrying out the simplest duties at hand, where God expects us to serve him, with constant love and sacrifice.

-----------------------------

*Father Francis Ongkingko is a priest of the Prelature of Opus Dei who resides in Manila.

St. John Paul II and Blessed Alvaro during the latter's episcopal ordination

And here's a short video about the miracle concerning a Chilean baby, attributed to Blessed Alvaro's intercession and which led to his beatification. The boy -- now 11-year-old Jose Ignacio Ureta -- was at the beatification rites with his parents.

Beyond the costume

Who's your favorite "superhero" among the crime-fighting crusaders that pop culture has entrenched into the consciousness of pop culture-watchers? You know, among those who fly, don form-fitting costumes (usually caped and usually made of spandex), and have super-strength? Mine isn't Ironman, though I do find the character's wit funny. I suppose it's because my idea of a superhero since being a child involves clearer demonstrations of virtue than what this Marvel hero normally shows in the movies.

But in the short video below, I don't see Ironman in the actor who plays him. Witty he definitely continues to be, but Robert Downey, Jr. does much, much more here than spice up a speech with his humor. The event happened several years ago and, thanks to a friend who posted the video on Facebook, I got to see it and thus acquired a new perspective on the actor, on the other actor (the subject of his words), and on the twists and turns that life puts us through.

Below the video is another piece of material that I found myself reading voraciously till the end. Yet another source of points and discoveries to ponder.







Here's an excerpt from the article A Journalist's Plea on the 10th Anniversary of 'The Passion of the Christ': Hollywood, Take Mel Gibson Off Your Blacklist --

It might sound naïve after 20 years writing about celebrities, but my friendship with Gibson made me reconsider other celebrities whose public images became tarnished by the media’s rush to judge and marginalize the rich and famous. Whether it’s Gibson, Tom Cruise or Alec Baldwin, the descent from media darling to pariah can happen quickly after they do something dumb. I was part of that pack of journalists paid to pounce, so I know. I consider myself intelligent, someone who makes up her own mind, but just like readers do, I have accepted some reports at face value. The press said that based on Gibson’s statements, he was a homophobe, a misogynist, a bully, an ant-Semite, so he must be. What he was, I discovered, was an alcoholic whose first outburst was captured after he fell off the wagon. What the later release of audiotapes showed was a man with a frightening temper, capable of saying whatever will most offend the target of his anger.

* Illustration by Andy Fairhurst

Letting purple set your (heart) beat

Do you need courage? Ask for it. Do you need humility? Ask for it. Do you need to be pure in a world filled with temptation? Ask for it. Are you trying to overcome an explosive temper? Ask for patience. If you don’t ask, you won’t receive— it’s that simple.

Our Lent will be completely wasted if we aren’t praying. Fasting and almsgiving will simply become sources of pride if we aren’t approaching them prayerfully. No matter what else you are planning to do for Lent, prayer should be first on the list.

For those who value spiritual nourishment and let the living God lead the way, these days are an apt time to intensify this cultivation of the spiritual life. Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of the season of repentance and renewal. The excerpt up there is from an article someone posted on Facebook and you can read it in full here.

I just realized that a blog can come in handy for storing status messages one posts, since these messages tend to go way down one's timeline particularly when one is an "enthusiastic poster". And one can only do so much scrolling down to look for a post from days/weeks before! So because I need reminders like the one below (which I posted on my timeline not long ago) time and again, let me put it here as well:

Thanks to a friend's status message, I realized that a sincere desire to live Lent meaningfully would probably include a conscious effort to refrain from gossiping -- whether starting it or participating in it. Maybe some folks will go nuts over this, but if that's the case then it sounds like a great workout for the soul! And the prospect of a "toned soul" is a more worthwhile goal to aim for than a "flabby" one, I suppose.

Thinking of your own ways of putting more meaning into Lent instead of merely watching the season come and go? Figuring out if it's going to be "giving up something" or "doing more of something"? Or maybe a little of both? Suggestions worth considering on what things to give up are in this article. A sample:

14.  Your pillow.  Oh shut up, yes you can.
16.  Checking your email every five minutes.  Read a paragraph of Evangelii Gaudium instead.

20.  Satire.  It’s just sooo not funny.

22.  The car radio.  It’s okay to talk to yourself.

25.  Sarcasm.  Also not funny.

35.  The closest parking spot.  Think of your long walk into Walmart as a miniature Appalachian Trail.

 

In good company?

One day several months ago, on Facebook:


"You are the average of the company you keep. Choose wisely."  ~ Leah Darrow


"...and then you should examine if within your group [you are] raising or lowering the average!" ~ commenter

Seeing gratitude in the age of the quick "tnx"

"If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse."

That's what it said on the sticky note I saw somewhere, driving home a point that's been expressed in countless other ways but which can easily be done away with. Somehow, "count your blessings" just doesn't have the same impact (the inevitable fate of cliches) -- unless you're a 10-year-old benefiting from a teaching moment with your mom or your lolo and probably hearing the proverb for the first time.

One thing I realized a couple of nights ago was that listening to people, one after another, express their gratitude can lead to the equivalent of the happy hormone kicking in. I'm not sure if hormones "kick in" (oxytocin is what I have in mind) but I'm certain that if wires, adhesives and other monitoring gadgets were attached to my body, my brain would indicate lots of activity in the "delight area." In other words, I was happy! Here's what happened: I explored a dozen or so videos of acceptance speeches given at various Academy Awards ceremonies. Was I pleasantly surprised. I won't tell you more but let me share with you a few of those that I loved, whether for the actors' spontaneity, sense of gratitude, wit, or apparent other-centeredness.

After the winds and the water

It's not "business as usual" in my country -- it's been that way for nine days now. November 8 was the day typhoon Yolanda (int'l codename: Haiyan) pounded central Philippines, hitting the provinces of Leyte, Samar, parts of Cebu, Panay island, and several islets in the region.

One thing that is becoming evident as stories are told and shared on various media is the incredible resilience of the Filipino people. I'll leave it to Anderson Cooper to delve on it through a report he filed after spending a week in my country, most of it in Leyte, which has been called a "wasteland" after the devastation became clear. Rebuilding of homes has started as I write this. The residents of Leyte and Samar are also being evacuated, over a thousand of them already making it to Manila. Some are to stay with relatives while others, in Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) centers for the time being.






One thing that many have found overwhelming and remarkably moving is the demonstration of concern and solidarity by dozens of countries in the way of messages of support, prayers and material aid. Many have also brought medical teams, disaster management experts, high-tech equipment that I didn't even know existed, and other means of helping the survivors in more ways than one, directly and indirectly.

So, to all the people, countries and governments that have extended their support to my people, thank you very much!

Due to all that the survivors experienced during the typhoon and in the aftermath, not only are they in need of physical/medical treatment but what someone has dubbed "psychological first-aid" as well. The graphic below has tips that can come in handy if you should find yourself face-to-face (or side by side) with someone who lived through the ordeal. It's important to give comfort to people who have lost much, if not everything, including their families.

* A previous blog post includes information on how you may donate or volunteer.

Typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda) whips through Philippines: reports and footage

To give you a clearer idea of what the people in some parts of the Philippines have experienced in the last couple of days due to typhoon Yolanda (international codename: Haiyan), here are links to several reports, both posted on November 8 evening. The first is the day's episode of State of the Nation with Jessica Soho. Most affected areas are Leyte and Eastern Samar.

At least one church and several hospitals have been destroyed. And there is mounting concern over the dozen or so bodies so far found because even funeral homes have been destroyed. Public health could be at risk as a result.

Communications in many parts of the affected areas are still down as of this posting.

Prayers and practical help needed and will be deeply appreciated.


At least 33 dead as super typhoon Yolanda pounds central Philippines

Pinsala ng Super Typhoon Yolanda sa Palo, Leyte

In Yolanda's wake, more than 100 bodies found in Tacloban's streets; city airport 'ruined' - CAAP exec

UPDATES:

How you can donate and volunteer  (from Tina Santiago-Rodriguez of Truly Rich Mom)


Caritas Manila (contains info even for those overseas who may want to donate money)

----------------------------------------------------


UPDATE / NOV. 10: I'm adding the following news report with footage, but it was posted on the network's website yesterday, Nov. 9. The report is in Filipino but the images tell the general story.

The second link contains photos from Yahoo! News.

1,200 feared dead in typhoon-devastated Philippines


Super storm 'Yolanda' (Haiyan) hits the Philippines


And adding the last one for today, a report by foreign media:


Death toll after Philippines typhoon could reach 10,000, according to local officials


Some more info on helping the victims:

 

Music, madness and Manila driving

When news of buses being banned in the city of Manila came out, how did you react? Were you the picture of unbridled fury, feeling like the female version of the Incredible Hulk in mid-transformation? Did you simply whimper, imagining the chaotic daily morning commute to the office you would now have to bear with? Were Mayor Joseph Estrada and Vice-mayor Isko Moreno the target of your verbal darts on Facebook? Or, did the news go ignored since you don’t pass Manila anyway?

Well, the news was totally unexpected for a lot of us. What was expected was the barrage of protests as a result of the move aimed at addressing the perennial traffic problem in the metropolis. Frankly, after getting over the initial incredulity over the news, my dismay turned to delight. No buses in Manila? That means... Taft Avenue without those horrible things that zoom and zigzag down the road as if each of them was designated Manic Driver of the Day? Yeheyyy! And now they’re even cracking down on colorum bus units!

If you get behind the wheel at least once in a while, you know that driving in Manila is a test of virtue. In fact, “patience is a virtue” is one helpful slogan to keep in mind when plying the city’s streets, as you are bound to encounter temptations of various kinds. Since people of different persuasions and temperaments are on the road, expect differences in driving styles and even in definitions of words – such as courtesy, right of way, one way, no parking on this side – so you can more easily adjust to those differences and overcome temptations to yell invectives or shoot dirty looks at the other driver to show your displeasure.

After having driven around these streets for over 20 years now, I’ve discovered some things that help make the driving experience more pleasant, less nerve-wracking, and most important of all, safer. One of them is the fact that music can make a lot of difference.

So you like listening to the radio or your own carefully compiled playlist while driving through traffic. That’s good. Music can do wonders to calm the senses, lead to positive feelings, facilitate focus, and keep one wide awake. God knows a drowsy driver has no place behind the steering wheel of a moving vehicle! And positive feelings are definitely vital during the daily rush hour. But have you considered that your choice of music can spell a big difference when it comes to calm, focused and safe driving? At this point, let me exalt the merits of classical music, which not everyone relishes and which can even put some to sleep (not good in this case). There is reliable data to back up my claims but first let me tell you why I opt for Mozart, Bach and some of the other classical giants when I drive through routes that include Taft, Edsa, Espana or any other major road in the city:

The resonant strains of violins, the melodious patterns played on the piano, and the cadence the instruments in an orchestra produce as a result – these soothe the soul. Minutes after this kind of music starts playing, it’s like I am enveloped in serenity. And it doesn’t matter if I’m with three other people in the car or driving on my own. But it has more of an effect, I suppose, when it’s just me and the music.

Someone said that classical music can draw people closer to God, and a friend theorized maybe that’s because it encourages contemplation. Well, this is something good because contemplating things of God is crucial when the only other thing you feel like doing is getting even with the driver that almost hit you as he swerved to your lane. I mean, a clear head and a clean heart should be constant – whatever situation you’re in – but on the road, when tempers can flare, when pride has led disgruntled drivers to resolve situations by shooting, and a corrupt system issues driver’s licenses to people who seem oblivious to traffic rules and road courtesy, those Godly qualities become even more important to keep your sanity (and to stay alive!). Can you imagine having the one with the horns and forked tongue serve as your “inspiration” whenever you encounter drivers that cut you off or motorcycle riders that zigzag down major roads as if they were stuntmen in action? You will want to contemplate God, not the one whose goal is to make you do wicked things.

As for empirical data showing the benefits of classical music on human behavior, yet another recent study has yielded findings that show how listening to Mozart enables people to concentrate more. This time it’s a research led by scientists from Kyoto University and Harvard University and which involved children aged 8-9 and adults aged 65-75. Participants demonstrated significantly quicker reaction time and committed less errors on tests when taken with a Mozart minuet playing in the background. The two other times had them taking the tests in silence and with a modified version of the minuet (with dissonant or irregular intervals). 

So is it any wonder that institutions turn to classical music as a means to alter behavior? They have found that listening to Mozart helps restless and agitated people – children and adults alike – become more relaxed. In the case of Manila’s exciting streets, unless there is a way to feed Mozart’s minuets into the headsets and speakers of every driver for some mind control, it’s only you who can benefit from the soothing sounds of the Austrian composer – or any classical composer for that matter.

Regardless of scientific findings on the effects of this musical genre on the brain, listening to Strauss waltzes as well as pieces with titles like “Canon in D Major” and “Symphony No. 9” frankly makes me unconsciously adopt the demeanor of someone like Elizabeth Bennet rather than Lady Gaga or Rihanna (Who is Elizabeth Bennet, you ask? Think “vulgar,” coarse,” “crass” – words that do not describe the protagonist in Pride & Prejudice). So, would a lady from the 1700s yell at a rude driver? No, she’s likely to inspire courtesy on the road – and any other place she graced with her presence. Would someone like the pop performers inspire courteous behavior on the road and good manners anywhere else they showed up? Well, let’s just say ladylike bearing brings out the gentlemen in men, and I certainly don’t want to bring out rough attitudes on the street (in myself and in others). If it’s the likes of The Nutcracker Suite and Fur Elise that will inspire virtue in me whenever I’m on the city’s major roads, then this type of music will dominate my playlist. Let’s leave Call Me Maybe and other pop staples for the times I’m a pedestrian or a passenger far from the steering wheel.

 Woman Today magazine
November 2013

Why I stopped and "smelled the roses"

One day, the harsh words all over Facebook prompted me to get out of the social networking site. The words didn’t have to be directed at me for the abrasiveness to make me go “enough is enough!” They were crass, they were full of contempt. It’s like You want to feel rotten? Log in to Facebook! You’ll get a megadose of anger/condescension/pronouncements on what’s wrong with the world and why everyone is doomed! 

"I'm under the impression that this notion of decency is disappearing from our society where conflicts are made worse on cinema and on television, where people are nasty and cruel on the Internet and where, in general, everybody seems to be very angry," actress Helen Mirren reportedly said. She gets what's happening.

Bad fashion sense, bad English, bad singing, bad taste in aesthetics – complaints about everything surfaced on status messages. The last straw for me at the time was the barrage of below-the-belt remarks ridiculing skin color (guess what shade – it’s definitely not the light one) as well as high-profile people who happened to be born with it.

Self-expression in public had hit an all-time low, and I wasn’t going to stick around to be a willing audience. So I left Facebook.

I didn’t delete my account – I simply deactivated it and stayed away for a month.  What joy! “Detox! Cool!” observed a friend. Yes, that was it – a mental and emotional cleansing from the filth that collective contempt can produce.

This is basically what directed me away from checking out status messages, pictures, news, videos, and endless scrolling that the site tends to make any netizen do. Instead, from the first moment of the day, I devoted my time and attention to real people, real concerns – not images, and not concerns manufactured by news or promotional materials meant to amplify some incident or celebrity, in turn to generate buzz and lead to countless page hits, likes, shares and whatever will send it skyrocketing on the popularity index.

Without the constant digital noise, the early morning minutes I used to spend reading the endless stream of updates had me instead roaming our small garden daily. What little charming flowers we have, I thought, gazing at the hedge right outside our front door as if seeing the lantana blooms for the first time.  They’re little alright, but dozens of the floral beauties spread out across the hedge resulted in an explosion of brilliant colors!

 

“Stop and smell the roses,” we’re often reminded, especially in these times when a really fast pace and the ability to go even faster can make us lose sight of the essentials of a life with meaning. Well, eliminating Facebook from my daily routine was a de-cluttering of sorts, a way to get back to the essentials – the proverbial roses I had come to overlook. No roses found their way into our picturesque hedge, but no matter – pretty soon I realized I was not the only one appreciating the lantana buds that blossomed. If you spend enough time around the stillness of the garden, you’ll see various winged creatures flower-hopping throughout the day. The lantana may not be as fragrant as roses (in fact, they have a peculiar smell) but they sure can draw the butterflies and bees to their lovely petals and keep them coming back throughout the day.


Of course it’s the butterflies, with their fascinating prints and colors, which easily captured my fancy. This was National Geographic up close! Gazing at images of something on a screen and looking at it in the flesh, in all its 3-dimensional wonder, are completely different experiences – even if it’s only the slow wing-flapping of a lacewing perched on a leaf or the flower-hopping of a frolicsome bumblebee.

What I found most reassuring in those sightings of foliage, flora and insects was their predictability. While news of planes crashing and ships colliding was reported, as the world waited with Kate and William for the “royal birth,” while fans and cynics got all emotional over the FIBA games, and as the “pork” situation progressed from bad to worse, the buds bloomed like they were supposed to. The butterflies arrived as scheduled each day and did their job. Through all the good and bad news, other creatures predictably followed their natural course. Even amid unfortunate incidents, life went on -- and beauty was there if one took the time to look around.

One afternoon I noticed one of the black-and-white butterflies, motionless, on a leaf. Its wings were spread open; I took a snapshot. Then I realized parts of its right wing were torn off. Oh no, it's hurt! How will
it fly now? Will it crash in flight? Is it going to die soon?

I was concerned for the little insect. When I left it, it still hadn’t moved.

The next morning it was gone. I hope it’s okay, I thought, wondering if butterflies could grow back damaged wings. Well, what do you know? Hours later, a butterfly that looked just like the injured one – broken wing and all – flitted from one end of the garden and landed on a leaf along the steel fence. Obviously it was not missing any action. Now that’s fighting spirit! I couldn’t help but think how the injured creature displayed more resilience than some people do (myself included) when faced with adversity. This butterfly has nearly half a wing torn off and it flies around as usual as if nothing happened. Talk about rolling with the punches!

In the weeks that followed, I discovered that broken wings weren’t all that unusual among the creatures that flew in and out of our yard.  There was the little tiger moth with a wee part of its left wing damaged. Then there was “Brownie,” another butterfly, whose impeccably edged wings remained awesome despite a missing rounded corner.  And who wouldn’t be astounded by the little beauty that zoomed from one end of the hedge to the other with its remarkably tattered wings? I spied it almost daily; one time it even landed on my outstretched hand.  Whatever tore apart its wings to such a frayed condition apparently did not tear down the insect’s spunk (and curiosity).

This butterfly with the jagged wings now holds my fascination the most. Never mind the asymmetrical form – a delicate creature that insists on being airborne despite its tattered state is all the reminder one needs that tempests are to be faced bravely. Facebook may be full of messages about persistence despite the odds or hardship bringing out the grit in people, but right here before me were more graphic – and prettier— examples of such determination. 

It’s amazing how stopping to “smell the roses” can end up with being shown so much unexpected beauty.  And all I needed was a reason to seek the roses in the first place.