Be a man -- break the rules

Be a real man, that is.

For Boys Only: The Man Talk

The November 6, 1-4 pm gig really is for boys only, and it's best to secure your tickets early due to limited seating.

Here's a bit about the Matt Fradd-headlined event, so gentlemen, this one's for you:

We are inviting you to join us in an all-boys chastity talk with highly sought-after international speaker and Catholic apologist, Matt Fradd. Find out how true manhood is expressed in becoming who God meant you to be, and discover the FIVE RULES you must BREAK if you want to fulfill your deepest desires and follow God's commands! 

This will be held on Nov. 6 (Friday) at 1-4 pm, at St. Mary's College Auditorium, 37 Mother Ignacia Ave., Bgy. Paligsahan, Quezon City.  Tickets are now available at P300 each. Limited seats only, so secure your tickets early by calling/texting 0922-8276662 or emailing all4life.life4all@gmail.com

Love better, live better

The superior man thinks always of virtue; 
the common man thinks of comfort. 

- Confucius

I came across this quote on one of Petrufied's blog posts. 

On Capt. Picard, wedding cakes, and the real meaning of tolerance

It's not only in the United States that bakers are being forced into closing their businesses and being threatened with lawsuits if they refuse to extend their services to some clients. An incident involving another wedding cake and a same-sex couple happened in Ireland, and Jean-Luc Picard a.k.a. Patrick Stewart stated his position on the matter. Find out why he took the side of the bakers.

And do you equate tolerance with never disagreeing with others? Do you lose your cool because other people seem to be full of bigotry? You may just learn a thing or two from the stuff Chris Stefanick says here:

It's really not about dos and don'ts

Sometimes it takes a while to see the big picture. But basically this is what this virtue is anchored on:

Seeing this reminded me of a fascinating video called "The economics of sex" which, apart from pointing out some ideas about relationships and sex worth considering, features awesome artwork (to me it looks like doodling because the artist makes it look so easy). Check it out in this previous post.

On testosterone, romance, and "supply & demand"

What a novel way to explore the topic of sex, relationships, and how the lopsided picture which is currently in favor of men can be set right. And here are a few lines from the fascinating video below that should make us consider what's going on --

"For a woman to know what she wants in a relationship and to signal it clearly especially if it's different than what most men want, this is her power in the economy. But none of these things seem to be occurring -- not now, at least. Today the economics of contemporary sexual relationships clearly favor men and what they want, even while what they are offering in exchange has diminished."

Don't date a guy hoping you can fix him...

It does happen a lot, doesn't it?

"Don't date a guy hoping you can fix him and change him and rescue him and play the messiah, 'cause in those kinds of relationships, somebody changes and it's usually not the guy. It's usually the girl and it's changing for the worst."

Husband-and-wife team Jason and Crystalina Evert have authored a book titled How to find your soulmate without losing your soul. What's it about? They'll tell you what to expect in this short vid:






People like Jason and Crystalina have come to be considered non-conformist, given the way culture has evolved -- specifically, norms concerning interaction between men and women, relationships, and the way family and marriage have come to be regarded in media-saturated societies in the last couple of decades. And, this delightfully counter-cultural couple has included the Philippines in their tour this year, holding speaking engagements in Manila and Cebu from Sept. 5-7.

Now I know that being immersed in your professional work can get you to a point in which you feel you have no life at all outside of work. What about family? What about friends? What about a real social life? Where are all the good guys? Are my standards too high? Do I need to settle for what's available? Is real love a fairy tale? Decisions, decisions. Dilemmas, dilemmas. Well, head on to Camp Aguinaldo, Quezon City on Sept. 5 (Thursday) at 5:30 pm,  for The Path to Real Love: Better Together and listen to Jason and Crystalina tackle such concerns! It's going to be several hours well spent.

* For tickets and other details, contact 0917-312-5585, 0905-268-8493 or WeAreYup@gmail.com. You can also go to facebook.com/WeAreYup.


* Want to see another video? Jason talks with a small bunch of university students here

Giant

Giant -- that's the title of a classic 1956 movie with Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean leading the cast. It is set in Texas, which is massive and is the second largest state in  the US (Alaska is the largest) -- hence, the title. I was reminded of this film after reading news reports and commentaries and seeing pictures of the continuing developments taking place in this state showing the intense debate concerning abortion legislation. Some useful links are in a previous post to bring you up to speed about what's been happening there.

First, some photos posted at the Students for Life of America Facebook page (I'm copying the captions as they appear there, except for the second photo, which shows students on their way to a Planned Parenthood facility outside of which they spent some time standing and praying):

Missy talks about the Planned Parenthood Project at the Planned Parenthood rally

Our group at the Capitol

On the Students for Life of America website was an account of the Stand4Life Bus Tour in Austin, Texas the group embarked on. The post is dated July 11, so a lot has obviously happened since then, but it gives one a closer look at some things that transpired at the event. Related information and observations are in there, too -- some of them deeply disappointing but nevertheless necessary to open our eyes to the reality of what the culture of death is doing and will continue to do if left to spread and make more inroads in society. Here's an excerpt:

While things are looking grim for the other side, pro-abortion men have also stepped up to make their voices heard in the debate.  Ben Sherman, a pro-abortion boy, took to his blog to explain the #brochoice movement. He wrote that if abortion isn’t readily accessible, especially in his state of Texas, men’s sex lives are at stake. It was the ultimate form of male-chauvinism, yet NARAL and other pro-abortion women’s groups took to Twitter in support of the campaign.

Can you believe this actually happened? Here’s what Sherman wrote to other men as to why they should be #brochoice:

·         “Forcing women to adhere to the anti-choice attitudes of state legislators forces men to do the same, and will have serious consequences both on men’s lives and lifestyles.”

·         “Your sex life is at stake. Can you think of anything that kills the vibe faster than a woman fearing a back-alley abortion? Making abortion essentially inaccessible in Texas will add an anxiety to sex that will drastically undercut its joys. And don’t be surprised if casual sex outside of relationships becomes far more difficult to come by.”

Read Texas: A glimpse into the future


And for anyone who may still be holding out on the possibility that Planned Parenthood exists for a noble cause and actually cares about its clientele, here's something to think about:

 

Advice for the young at heart

No, the pieces of advice offered below to letter-writers who shared their concerns are not from Lucy Van Pelt. They're from Ate Ami, Tapat's advice columnist. Sound advice can go a long way so I'm sharing these -- we learn from the experience of others, after all, and that goes for advice pertaining to other people's problems, too.

Most of the text is in my native tongue of Filipino but how about giving the blog translator on the sidebar a try? Better yet, get a friend who understands Filipino to translate the following for you so you'll get to read the concerns and advice for a porn star wannabe, a teenaged daughter who feels suffocated by her dad's ways, and a guy who's intimidated by his rival for a lady's heart.

* * * * *

Dear Ate Ami,

Nalaman ko po sa kaibigan ko na pwedeng humingi sa inyo ng advice. I’m 27 and I’m a graphic designer. May kapatid ako (“Bea”) at ang pangarap niya ay lumabas sa FHM magazine. Alam kong tinatawag itong malaswang magazine pero dream na niya dati pa na maging model doon, kaya sinuporta ko siya. Anyway, dahil sa isang conversation namin ng isang kaibigan, na-konsensiya ako tungkol dito kaya nagpunta ako sa isang pari for spiritual advice. Marami siyang sinabi pero ang nakaka-bother sa akin ay yung sabi niyang bilang Ate, responsibilidad kong i-guide si Bea, hindi i-misguide tulad daw ng ginagawa kong pag-suporta sa pangarap na hindi disente. By the way, above 18 na ang kapatid ko. Anyway, undecided ako tungkol dito kasi of age na si Bea so she can decide on her own. I’m just supporting her as her big sister and appearing in this magazine can really open doors for her. At the same time, isang lesson na tinuro ko sa kanya ay to pursue her dreams and believe in herself no matter how others put her down. Hirap lang akong i-reconcile ang advice ko sa kanya at pakikinig sa sinabi ng pari. I hope you can help me out with your own advice.  – Swirl Girl

Naku, Swirl Girl, ikaw ang nangangailangan ng guidance, in the first place, kaya take a hint from circumstances, iniimbitahan ka ng Panginoon na tahakin ang … ehem, daang maliwanag, hindi lamang matuwid.  The fact that nakonsiyensiya ka ng conversation mo with a friend, and you approached a priest for guidance, are already signs that the Lord is extending His hand to you—so that you can in turn extend your hand to others, like Bea.

Read the whole thing at Pangarap niyang maging porn star?


And now, from a young woman who feels suffocated by her dad's overprotective nature...

Dear Ate Ami,
Ano po ba gagawin ko tungkol sa tatay ko? Pinakikialaman po niya ako lagi, kung anong ginagawa ko, kung nag-aral na ba raw ako, kung sino mga kasama ko kapag may lakad kami ng barkada eh kakain lang naman po kami o kaya manonood ng basketbol sa barangay. Pati gamit ko po ay minsan hinalungkat niya. Ako lang naman po ang ginaganun niya, sabi ng mga kapatid ko dahil daw ako ang lapitin ng mga boys sa amin. Hindi naman po ako maarte at wala po akong ginagawang masama. Pinakaokey pong kasama barkada ko at puro kami babae. Pero nasasakal na ako sa kakabantay ng tatay ko, hindi na po ako bata. Ako po’y 19, taking up commerce.
- Beng
Dear Beng,

Una, huwag kang mainis.  Tatay mo yan eh, me karapatang makialam kahit 19 ka na, pagka’t nasa poder ka pa niya.  Natural lamang sa magulang ang “makialam”, pagka’t sa kanila, hindi pakikialam iyon kungdi “pag-aalaga.”

Read the whole thing at Walang humpay magbantay si Itay


And a young man in a not-so-unusual situation of feeling like he's second-best to a rival for the affections of the lady of his dreams...

Dear Ate Ami,
Ako po ay 26 years old at in love sa kaibigan ko. Siya ay isang high school teacher, at maganda po siya at mabait. Mga limang buwan na mula nung nagtapat ako sa kanya tungkol sa kagustuhan kong maging gf ko siya, at sinabi kong ang plano ko balang araw ay pakasalan siya. Dito rin po siya nakatira sa may amin at nung 2007 po kami nagkakilala (pero may bf po siya noon).

Paano ko po ba maipapakita sa kanyang mahal na mahal ko siya at malinis ang aking hangarin? Sigurado na po akong siya ang gusto kong maging kasama habang buhay kaya nagtatrabaho ako nang mabuti para maging handa akong bigyan siya at ang magiging pamilya namin ng magandang kinabukasan (network administration po ang linya ko). Pero kabado ako dahil may isa pa siyang manliligaw. Kahit ayaw kong aminin, parang mas angat po siya kaysa sa akin. Ang laking tuwa ko po siguro kung mawawala na lang sana siya! Pero tanggap ko na pong siya ang karibal ko, so mayroon po ba kayong maipapayo para lumakas ang loob ko kahit na pwedeng sa ibang lalaki mapunta ang minamahal ko? At para mapasaakin ang minamahal ko dahil mahal na mahal ko talaga siya.   - Romy

Hay naku, Romy, naduduling ka na yata sa pagkahumaling diyan sa “mahal” mo. Wala ka namang gasinong sinabi tungkol sa kanya except that “maganda siya at mabait”. So what? Ang ganda ay madaling makita ng mga mata, pero ang kabaitan, sinusubok iyan ng panahon. Paano mo nasabing “mabait” siya—nakita mo na ba siyang magalit? Ano ang mga ikinagagalit niya? How does she behave when she’s angry? Isa pa lang iyan. Ikalawa, paano siyang gumalang sa mga magulang niya? Masunurin ba siya o pasaway? Kapag napapagsabihan siya ng mga magulang, paano siya nangangatuwiran? O tumatahimik na lang ba siya pero gagawin din niya ang ipinagbabawal ng mga magulang niya? Pero dumako muna tayo sa tunay na problema mo.

Read the whole thing at Kabadong manliligaw

Celebrating the RH bill’s enactment into law: Doing the right thing?

How can it be the right thing when you help promote irresponsible parenthood by transferring to the State the parental duty of forming one’s children? When you needlessly endanger -- seriously in many cases -- the health of women and then even require taxpayers to finance putting women's lives at risk? When you treat poor people like animals and assume they can't learn or discipline themselves or think for themselves if given the correct information and encouragement? When you force people of faith to violate their faith and then call the measure something that promotes freedom of choice? 

How can it be the right thing when your message to people is basically to enjoy sex and make pill-popping or condom use a regular part of their lifestyle, then force others to pay for all that? When you keep insisting that what other people do in their bedroom is none of our business while you expect us to finance their enjoyment of sex – whether extra-marital, pre-marital, sodomitical or criminal?

How can it be the right thing when the basic premise of its sex education program is that satisfying, pleasurable and safe sex is a right – and a human right at that – and a priority in life starting from adolescence? When this message is delivered through six years of the same basic idea? When educators and educational institutions are required to deliver this message to their students?

How can it be the right thing when a massive budget will be devoted to ingraining in the youth such a message, when it’s goal-setting, decision-making, traits such as integrity, honesty, perseverance, self-mastery, diligence, other-centeredness, delicadeza, sincerity, respect for elders, love of family and country, and other life lessons that they need to be equipped with to prepare them for the future?

How can signing an RH measure into law be the right thing when it will clearly destroy the future and the very soul of the nation?

The goal is to build a nation, preserve it, and protect its people’s fundamental rights – not destroy the nation and strip its people of their rights.

Mr. President, you have wronged the Filipino people --

big time.

The Grand Chocolate Giveaway

Saw this at Generations for Life last week. Young people can really come up with some very imaginative ways of promoting life and love!

Yesterday [Valentine’s Day], on hundreds of college campuses nationwide, students were handed a Hershey’s kiss with a free condom. This “Condom and a Kiss” campaign has been going on for several years and is a way for students who practice contraception or support it to spread their message and their products.

But yesterday Project Plus … reached out to our peers with a message that “True Love is worth more than Contraception”. We had full sized Hershey’s Chocolate Bars with that message on the front, and we handed them all out (360 bars) in less than 2 hours…

The theme of the chocolate bar give-away was “Without Contraception, You get so much more”, an analogy pertaining to the tiny Hershey’s Kisses that the “Condom and a Kiss” campaign hands out with their product, compared to full sized Hershey’s bars we had. Inside the candy wrapper we explained this briefly, saying, “It makes sense that condoms are handed out today with nothing more than a tiny chocolate kiss. This reflects how little love you can express while using one. Using contraception tells your lover, ‘I don’t want to share every part of myself with you.’”

Read the whole thing here

TeenSpeak 2007

Generations for Life is hosting TeenSpeak 2007 at the Drury Lane in Oakbrook Terrace, IL on Saturday, February 3. We were originally going to have our own GFL conference back in October, but Speak Out Illinois, a statewide conference, asked us to run their youth division - TeenSpeak. We jumped at the chance because it meant a better venue and reaching more teens. In the past TeenSpeak has drawn anywhere from 60-100 teens. We hope that if you are in the area you will attend. To register go here.

Let's cut to the chaste

I've blogged about Dawn Eden's book -- The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On -- several times before. Launched in early December, the book has had the author going on book tours and signings and giving radio and magazine interviews the past month.

Here's an excerpt of an interesting review, part of which Dawn posted on her blog --

Pia de Solenni, a moral theologian who was awarded the Pontifical Prize of the Academies by Pope John Paul II, today reviews The Thrill of the Chaste in the American Spectator online.

Following is the bulk of the review; I've left out some juicy bits in the hope that you'll read the whole thing on the Spectator's site:

SEX USED TO HAVE SOMETHING to do with marriage. That was then, this is now. Now, sex happens in more ways and places than perhaps ever before; but people don't seem much happier for it. Consider the fact that sex is everywhere, men and women claim to be looking for love and commitment, and the singles industry is booming; but the marriage rate doesn't appear to be keeping pace and people seem to spend much more of their lives being single. In such a light, the sexual revolution appears to have been more limiting than liberating. ...

... Extremely honest and forthright, Eden details her decision to pursue chastity as a way of ultimately being happy, whether or not she ever meets Mr. Right. Fortunately, her writing style lacks the saccharine drama commonly found in inspirational books. Rather than condemn a particular lifestyle for pages on end, she helps the reader to understand the lifestyle. Whether one is on the outside looking in or completely immersed, Eden provides a framework that helps explain the choices that so many people assume are "natural."

But it would be a mistake to think Eden simply attempts to make the case for a return to traditional sexual mores. She identifies a condition that generally has been reserved for discussion in the academic circles of philosophers and psychologists.

EXAMINING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN the lifestyle choices of sex (mostly casual) outside of marriage and the decision to wait until sex can be fully experienced within marriage, Eden identifies two types of women: single women and singular women. ...

... The single woman is excessively utilitarian, and auto-determining; she defines her relationships, her circumstances, and her future, according to her desires. The "other" only comes into the picture insofar as that person is useful to her. She spends her time resenting what she does not have, especially the lack of an intimate relationship, even though she bases her identity on that very lack. Her identity is about what she hasn't got (a boyfriend or a husband), not who she is.

A singular woman acts integrally. She chooses to do things because they are good in and of themselves, not because they will serve her immediate interests whether they involve dating and romance, getting a job, or any other desire. She allows herself to actually experience what a situation offers, even if she didn't foresee it. Unlike the single woman, she will go to a party simply to have fun and be with people she enjoys. If she meets someone at the party, it will be all the better. But whether or not she meets someone won't determine the success of the party.

Eden also identifies gratitude as the distinguishing factor between the singular woman and the single woman. In stark opposition to the single woman's focus on her lack of a partner or mate, the singular woman expresses gratitude not only for what she has and is given, but for what she can give. ...


Read the rest at The Dawn Patrol

Fully booked

A couple of weeks ago I posted about the coming release of "The Thrill of the Chaste," Dawn Eden's book to be out in December. Radiant recently interviewed the author. An excerpt:

There is, as far as I can see, no book for women who are where I was and want to get to where I am. Other books about chastity are generally directed toward virgins, telling them to "stay pure." When the authors of those books address non-virgins, if at all, they're usually writing from the perspective of one who really doesn't know what it's like to change from one lifestyle to another. I've been there, so I thought I would have something new and valuable to say.

The main theme of your book is chastity. Can you describe what that word means to you/represents for you?
Chastity is a state of mind. It entails viewing other people as valuable, even delightful, in themselves, not as means to one's own pleasure or gain. For a single woman, chastity means a refusal to objectify others or allow one's self to be objectified. In the plainest sense, it means reserving the gift of one's sexual expression for one's husband, because only within marriage—with its complete commitment—can it become a gift of love, free from the confines of self-interest.

How do you hope this book will help women today?
For women who want to be married and feel caught on a merry-go-round of dead-end relationships, and for women who seek emotional intimacy and find themselves settling unhappily for sexual intimacy, I hope it will help them build the emotional foundation they need if they're to hold out for their heart's desire.

'Chastity with Ray-bans on'

Due to be out in bookstores in December yet, Dawn Eden's book is seeing movement already through Amazon.com. I mentioned The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding fullfilment while keeping your clothes on here several months ago (go here if you missed it).

The author will be busy promoting her book, as talks, appearances and book signings are already lined up.

Check out two interesting reviews at The Dawn Patrol by two writers who received their advance copies.

An upbeat message about reality

If you'll scan the list of links on this blog, you'll see some additions. I found out about BreakDown via Generations for Life and quickly added the site to my list. It's just the thing that would be perfect for youth conferences and rallies that aim to truly empower young people!

BreakDown is the new generation of Edutainment, bringing the message of self control and hope to a generation of young people looking for the REAL thing. BreakDown is a team of young people who bring a powerful and dynamic message to their peers.

Through music, hip-hop dance, drama, inspirational speaking, video and more teens are engaged, educated as well as entertained. Our amazing dance team uses music and hip hop style dance to grab the attention of the audience and present abstinence as a cool and most importantly realistic choice for young people.

Why are we doing this?
We desire to inspire hope for the teens in our audiences! Hope that they always have choices. Hope that it is never to late to start over. Hope that the good choices they are making will eventually pay off. Hope that they can reach their goals and dreams by choosing wisely today. And hope that they are not alone in the world and that there are people who care about their lives and futures and ALSO want them to succeed!

BreakDown began in Tucson, Arizona in 2001 and expanded into Phoenix in 2003. Phoenix was the first of MANY expansions as in 2005 Expantion Teams (XTeams) began in Northwest Indiana, Chicago, Missouri, Indianapolis. Opportunities are opening up all over the world now!

'Reverse rebellion'

San Francisco was the site of a pretty huge gathering last weekend. From the Battle Cry newsroom:

More Than 25,000 Teens Rally in S.F. Against “Virtue Terrorism”—Next Stop: Detroit

Fueled by Their Faith, Teens Mobilize BATTLECRY—Taking Stand Against Pop-Culture Forces Contributing to Teen Sex, Drug Abuse, and Suicide

DALLAS, March 27, 2006—Some forty years after rebellious youth started a cultural revolution rejecting rules and boundaries, American teens are once again challenging societal norms. Only this time, the young rebels are in “reverse rebellion.”

“We’re sick and tired of pop culture telling us it’s cool to sleep around, dress like tramps, get high on drugs and alcohol, and behave badly,” said 18-year-old Amanda Hughey from Orange County, Calif., who has joined the BattleCry movement and rallied with more than 25,000 other teens at AT&T field last weekend. “Life is not MTV, and if we continue to live like we’re starring in those outrageous music videos, our generation is doomed.”

Read more at Battle Cry newsroom


What is Battle Cry? It's a national movement of hundreds of thousands of teenagers in the United States organized by Teen Mania. Unlike the youth of the 1960’s who were determined to do away with all rules, teens of today recognize that boundaries can protect them from those who want to take advantage of them. If society won’t set the boundaries, they will! An initiative of Teen Mania—one of the world’s largest youth organizations—BattleCry is a national movement of hundreds of thousands of teenagers who, fueled by their Christian faith, are taking a stand against the pop-culture forces contributing to the unprecedented spread of STDs, drug and alcohol abuse, violence, and suicide among the teenage generation.

Schedule of Battle Cry for a Generation events:




Addendum: Lifesite came out with a news report about the San Francisco Battle Cry event. An excerpt:

The Board of Supervisors of San Francisco, citing the city’s tradition of “tolerance,” issued a statement condemning the rally as an “act of provocation” by the “anti-gay,” “anti-choice” organization. Despite the sold-out venue and the enthusiastic response of the young people, the Board accused the rally of attempting to “negatively influence the politics of America's most tolerant and progressive city.”

Tolerance, however, is reserved in San Francisco for those who agree with the sexual revolution and leftist political viewpoint. Assemblyman Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, said Battle Cry’s “intolerance” of sexual promiscuity, pornography, the drug culture and homosexual deviance is “obnoxious” and “disgusting” and should, therefore, not be tolerated. “They should get out of San Francisco,” he said.

Full story at Lifesite

Meeting success in fighting AIDS

A senior U. S. research scientist who once advocated the use of condoms to slow the spread of HIV now promotes abstinence and fidelity as far more effective weapons against the disease.

Edward Green, with the Harvard Center for Population and Development Studies, became convinced of the effectiveness of abstinence and faithfulness after witnessing the impact of Uganda’s ABC program on the country’s infection rates. The ABC method, which stands for Abstain, Be faithful, or use a Condom, is credited with dramatically reducing the rate of HIV infection in Uganda since it was first implemented in 1986.

Appearing before the African subcommittee of the U.S. Senate on May 19, 2003, Green stated: “Infection rates [in Uganda] have declined from 21% to 6 % since 1991. Many of us in the AIDS and public health communities didn’t believe that abstinence and faithfulness were realistic goals. It now seems we were wrong.”

Full story at LifeSite

Take your pick

News and features on a wide range of topics: a new movie, wars ending, hands-on parents, a book that's making waves, a different scholarship grant, and self-esteem. Just click on what you fancy!

Heaven sent: A life-loving box-office winner
BY Kathryn Jean Lopez

Peace is spreading: the troubling thing is, we don't really know why
BY Niall Ferguson

Fla. mom cracks down on school's sexually explicit required reading
BY Jim Brown

Riches from Botswana
BY Susan Reibel Moore

Peace scholarship looks to resourceful students
BY Kit Nagamura

Running out of self-esteem
BY Carolyn Moynihan