Federer, the weather, Anonymous hackers.... plus others

Some news can make our day, while others tend to make us stop and lament over what the world seems to be coming to. Then we can hear of some things that are just the things we need to give us a laugh for a few minutes before plunging into the next task of the day. Whatever the case, it pays to inform ourselves -- and do what we can to be part of the solution, from where we are, with what we have.

Here's a glimpse of some things that have happened during the past several weeks in different parts of the planet --

Federer hands Djokovic first loss at ATP World Tour Finals since 2011


Faith on the football field -- Fargo high school stands up for religious freedom


 ISIS claims responsibility, calls Paris attacks 'First of the Storm'


Victims bare NAIA extortion in 'tanim-bala' probe


Lego is now making extra-padded Lego-proof slippers because they feel your pain


October breaks global heat record


Abortion facility shuts down on Halloween, becomes a pro-life clinic


 9/11 hero's widow returns 'Woman of the Year' award over Bruce Jenner 'insult'


Anonymous hackers could be Islamic State's online nemesis

* Photo of Roger Federer from Tennis

* Photo of Guy Fawkes mask associated with Anonymous from  Mail & Guardian

* * * * *

If you fancy a look at another post of various headlines from a month ago, they're here

Be a man -- break the rules

Be a real man, that is.

For Boys Only: The Man Talk

The November 6, 1-4 pm gig really is for boys only, and it's best to secure your tickets early due to limited seating.

Here's a bit about the Matt Fradd-headlined event, so gentlemen, this one's for you:

We are inviting you to join us in an all-boys chastity talk with highly sought-after international speaker and Catholic apologist, Matt Fradd. Find out how true manhood is expressed in becoming who God meant you to be, and discover the FIVE RULES you must BREAK if you want to fulfill your deepest desires and follow God's commands! 

This will be held on Nov. 6 (Friday) at 1-4 pm, at St. Mary's College Auditorium, 37 Mother Ignacia Ave., Bgy. Paligsahan, Quezon City.  Tickets are now available at P300 each. Limited seats only, so secure your tickets early by calling/texting 0922-8276662 or emailing all4life.life4all@gmail.com

Maybe bathroom door signs should be "Male DNA" and "Female DNA"

There have been some topics in the past that I'd wanted to blog about but just couldn't, simply because I had nothing else to say beyond one sentence -- maybe two. For example, lately I've noticed a disturbing number of adults who cross the street with a child in tow, and with the little one on the dangerous side. Sometimes it's an adult and a child strolling on a sidewalk, with the child on the dangerous side and whose hand his/her older companion isn't even holding. I had wanted to write about it because to me that's a pretty important matter to point out. But I couldn't think of anything else to say besides "Don't people know the concept of 'the dangerous side'? Why do grown-ups cross the street with kids and let the little ones stay on the dangerous side?" Nothing else comes to mind, because in my opinion, this is something basic.

Another example is littering. You probably see a lot of them, too, specially if Manila is your home -- dudes flicking a cigarette butt just anywhere while walking, tossing a candy wrapper out of a car or jeepney window, and other such sights. Even now that care for the environment has become a concern that's broadcasted and marketed in the mainstream, these things still happen a lot. But I can think of only one thing to say regarding this:

"Don't litter."

That's it. Ah but there's one other thing:

"I am  tempted to make a citizen's arrest each time I see some fellow toss litter just anywhere."

As you can see, elaborating on the point is difficult for me. It's just so basic that more words seem superfluous.

Now lately, there have been instances which demonstrate that something I consider one of the most basic of all basic principles in life is not so basic to some people after all. And that is: boys belong in the men's room, and girls belong in the ladies' room. By that of course I mean males -- biological, natural-born -- and females -- biological, natural-born. The only exceptions I would consider are instances involving toddler and pre-schooler boys (and maybe a year or two more) in which the absence of their dad, uncle or any male relation necessitates their mom, aunt or any female relation bringing them to the ladies' room to do their bathroom business. So, basically, in my mind it's as simple as what I stated above: boys belong in the men's room, and girls belong in the ladies' room. Nothing else to say.

However, even in these times that the basic principle seems to be questionable in some quarters, I couldn't think of anything else to say to drive home the point. And then I saw this on Facebook:

Cute baby huh? The little one made me realize that it's largely about privacy.

And then, recent developments in other parts of the world regarding what have come to be referred to as "gender identity" and "sexual orientation" have helped me see that just because a person says and believes he is something doesn't mean it is so. More specifically, just because a guy says he feels that he's a girl does not mean that he is a girl and that he should expect the environment and everyone else to make adjustments to suit his belief about himself. As a matter of fact, those of us who know better are aware that condoning such a person by affirming his ideas about himself is akin to telling a dude who believes he is a superhero who can fly that he should be proud of himself for being a superhero and to go ahead and launch into flight. It simply is not helping the person any. What he needs is compassion, treatment, and to cultivate a life of faith. What he does not need is other people telling him that his delusions are real and congratulating him for being delusional. That does not sound compassionate to me; if anything, it sounds convenient -- for the people around him, because of course helping the person become grounded in reality can be immensely difficult and will require much effort.

That being said, here is one of the incidents involving the matter of bathroom privacy and the rest of society being forced by institutions to compromise their privacy (not to mention, safety and hygiene) for the sake of individuals who insist on their delusions and therefore demand that rules be adjusted to cater to these delusions. If I may say so, individuals with such a psychological condition need and deserve treatment (psycho-spiritual), not special treatment.

In this situation, a 17 year old boy decided he was actually a girl, and thus should be entitled to use the girls’ locker room and bathroom. The school bent over backwards trying to find a compromise, even offering the guy a private, unisex facility, but that wasn’t good enough. He wanted the girls’ bathroom, and of course, what the girls wanted was entirely irrelevant.

Encouragingly, some of the students in the school didn’t stand for it. They protested this week, insisting it’s not fair to expect girls to use the bathroom or undress around a boy. They’re right, obviously, but it’s worse than that. Let’s be clear: it is ABUSIVE to coerce, intimidate, or otherwise force young girls to share their facilities with a boy. I don’t care if he’s gender confused or not. I don’t care if he wears a wig or not. All I care about, all that matters, all that make a difference, is that he is a boy with boy parts, a boy’s body, a boy’s genetic makeup, a boy’s brain, a boy’s everything. He’s a boy. That’s all. That’s it. That’s the whole story.

Girls (and boys) deserve and are entitled to a safe and private place to change and do their business. It is simply unconscionable and despicable to take that away from them.

Read Forcing girls to share a bathroom with a gender-confused boy is abuse

Here's more food for thought -- involving privacy in locker rooms this time.

"Women and men being naked together in the same locker room, taking showers and doing all this and they're saying that doesn't have any component of a sexual nature to it," [Atty. David] Kallman said.

"You don't have those facts in this case," [Midland County Circuit Court Judge Michael] Beale replied.

Kallman said "we don't have to wait for that to occur" and that the transgender-friendly locker room policy itself is "sexual in nature by allowing men in the women's locker room."

Beale came back to the threshold required for sexual harassment claims several times and Kallman continued to respond by saying the policy itself is sexual in nature and that no actual sexual incidents needed to occur for that to meet the threshold.

An African voice on cultural imperialism

Culture of Life Africa

It's really not about dos and don'ts

Sometimes it takes a while to see the big picture. But basically this is what this virtue is anchored on:

Seeing this reminded me of a fascinating video called "The economics of sex" which, apart from pointing out some ideas about relationships and sex worth considering, features awesome artwork (to me it looks like doodling because the artist makes it look so easy). Check it out in this previous post.

On testosterone, romance, and "supply & demand"

What a novel way to explore the topic of sex, relationships, and how the lopsided picture which is currently in favor of men can be set right. And here are a few lines from the fascinating video below that should make us consider what's going on --

"For a woman to know what she wants in a relationship and to signal it clearly especially if it's different than what most men want, this is her power in the economy. But none of these things seem to be occurring -- not now, at least. Today the economics of contemporary sexual relationships clearly favor men and what they want, even while what they are offering in exchange has diminished."

Hearts on fire: what is the big deal?

"It's just sex -- what is the big deal?"

Ever heard that line before? I have, plenty of times. And uttered with unmistakable exasperation. Which may as well have had the person say it straight instead of posing a question. Because what was probably on her mind was "It's just sex -- it's no big deal."

Thing is, regarding sex as "no big deal" often means not understanding sex beyond its being a biological function. Two people do it, do their best to enjoy it, and there you go. Love can be part of the equation, but not necessarily. They may be a couple, they may have met for the first time only hours before. Money may

have been part of the exchange. A dare may have been part of the deal. Each of them may be bound by a matrimonial vow, but not to one another. She could be totally into him and hopes to reel him in permanently, while he could be counting her as the "Flavor of the Month," one of many conquests. But one thing about us human beings is that none of us (man or woman) relish being treated like ice cream -- source of delight and center of attention for the time being, only to be set aside and eventually forgotten when the thrill wears off and the need for a  more exciting flavor sets in.

If you find that you do regard sex as no big deal, it's still possible you understand that sex is meant to be more than the physical and emotional (some will add spiritual) highs that it can lead to and which brilliant scripts and brilliant lighting and brilliant music (plus a stellar cast) can make it out to be. Sometime ago you may even have understood that sex is something special and beautiful but then somewhere along the way, you experienced some things that changed all that. It could be anything, from porn and your "wise" friends' pronouncements about "exciting hook-ups," to your parents' breakup and one guy's undivided attention that he quickly turned elsewhere after you gave him all of yours (and much, much more). It could be anything. But, see, you don't have a monopoly on this downward change in perspective about love and relationships due to your surroundings or your experiences. And more importantly, you're not the only one who – maybe deep down inside – dreams of something better. And most importantly, there is reason to hope for and work for something better.

So then why is sex a big deal? Well, because love is a big deal. And who have been created to love? It's certainly not those cute dogs, lovable though they are. It's (surprise, surprise) we -- you and me and every other person on the planet. We have been created out of love, to love, and we have an entire lifetime to do this. And sex is merely an extension of how love -- complete, self-giving love --  is manifested within the proper parameters. Lest I end up making sex seem like the end-all and be-all of life (which it is not, but it is the subject of this post, after all), let me then emphasize a vital point about it that anyone can easily overlook at one time or another, if not occasionally reminded: everything good in this world is a gift, and that includes sex. Thing is, when we discard the notion of something as a gift, we tend to be careless. Pretty soon we adopt an attitude that has us thinking we deserve this and that and so many other things.

Picture this: when something has been given as a gift, it ought to be appreciated and taken care of. When you give a good friend  a present, do you rejoice at seeing it tossed aside? When it's something precious, would handling it carelessly be the right thing to do? In the same way, love, sex, relationships, family, your significant other and all these in your life that money cannot buy are gifts, and keeping that in mind will help you remember that they are a big deal -- in varying degrees.

But here's something else: think of yourself as a gift and you'll realize that you are important, that you are a big deal. It's not some feel-good concept or something I'm saying just to boost your self-confidence (though the latter may end up being a result of this realization); it is the truth. And the more people take it to heart, the happier we will be and the easier it will be to decide what are worth prioritizing and what can be relegated to the back when it comes to the choices we make.

When you think of yourself as a gift, you'll naturally expect to be treated well, to be treated carefully. Because you are a big deal.

Now that we're talking gifts, a lot of those boxed presents and be-ribboned blooms are being handed out this week (the entire month, actually, as Valentine's Day in the more commercialized locales is extended into a long money-making opportunity -- not being cynical here, just presenting a pragmatic perspective with which quite a number of entrepreneurs treat the occasion). Enjoy them! At the same time, choose wisely when it comes to invitations to celebrate a "Happy Hearts' Day". Choose what wisely? The person extending the invite, your ensemble, the activity, the venue, the decision (to accept or not to accept), everything. If you're the guy, let your inner gentleman come out if you've been keeping him in hiding. For some pointers to consider (and some entertaining reads), here are links worth checking out. It's Valentine Month, but I suggest not reading them with rose-colored glasses (read: take them in with eyes wide open):



Equal love is unequal love

On protecting your lady love

Putting the "Saint" back in Valentine's Day 

"Purity Ring 3000"

Of chastity, tattoos, and the Powerpuff Girls


P.S. Oh, parents, I think you will want to see this

Don't date a guy hoping you can fix him...

It does happen a lot, doesn't it?

"Don't date a guy hoping you can fix him and change him and rescue him and play the messiah, 'cause in those kinds of relationships, somebody changes and it's usually not the guy. It's usually the girl and it's changing for the worst."

Husband-and-wife team Jason and Crystalina Evert have authored a book titled How to find your soulmate without losing your soul. What's it about? They'll tell you what to expect in this short vid:






People like Jason and Crystalina have come to be considered non-conformist, given the way culture has evolved -- specifically, norms concerning interaction between men and women, relationships, and the way family and marriage have come to be regarded in media-saturated societies in the last couple of decades. And, this delightfully counter-cultural couple has included the Philippines in their tour this year, holding speaking engagements in Manila and Cebu from Sept. 5-7.

Now I know that being immersed in your professional work can get you to a point in which you feel you have no life at all outside of work. What about family? What about friends? What about a real social life? Where are all the good guys? Are my standards too high? Do I need to settle for what's available? Is real love a fairy tale? Decisions, decisions. Dilemmas, dilemmas. Well, head on to Camp Aguinaldo, Quezon City on Sept. 5 (Thursday) at 5:30 pm,  for The Path to Real Love: Better Together and listen to Jason and Crystalina tackle such concerns! It's going to be several hours well spent.

* For tickets and other details, contact 0917-312-5585, 0905-268-8493 or WeAreYup@gmail.com. You can also go to facebook.com/WeAreYup.


* Want to see another video? Jason talks with a small bunch of university students here

No jackets required

Top hats and walking sticks are remnants of the past and may be considered costumes. But the disposition and actions of a gentleman are timeless and belong in any era. Plus, they're constant and not worn or removed like hats and jackets.

If you fancy some materials that explore the topic further, this previous post titled Knights without the shining armor should be interesting.

And I'll bet some of these ideas have never occurred to you shows three short videos that partly explain why masculinity and femininity seem to have become confusing concepts the past decades.

Giant

Giant -- that's the title of a classic 1956 movie with Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean leading the cast. It is set in Texas, which is massive and is the second largest state in  the US (Alaska is the largest) -- hence, the title. I was reminded of this film after reading news reports and commentaries and seeing pictures of the continuing developments taking place in this state showing the intense debate concerning abortion legislation. Some useful links are in a previous post to bring you up to speed about what's been happening there.

First, some photos posted at the Students for Life of America Facebook page (I'm copying the captions as they appear there, except for the second photo, which shows students on their way to a Planned Parenthood facility outside of which they spent some time standing and praying):

Missy talks about the Planned Parenthood Project at the Planned Parenthood rally

Our group at the Capitol

On the Students for Life of America website was an account of the Stand4Life Bus Tour in Austin, Texas the group embarked on. The post is dated July 11, so a lot has obviously happened since then, but it gives one a closer look at some things that transpired at the event. Related information and observations are in there, too -- some of them deeply disappointing but nevertheless necessary to open our eyes to the reality of what the culture of death is doing and will continue to do if left to spread and make more inroads in society. Here's an excerpt:

While things are looking grim for the other side, pro-abortion men have also stepped up to make their voices heard in the debate.  Ben Sherman, a pro-abortion boy, took to his blog to explain the #brochoice movement. He wrote that if abortion isn’t readily accessible, especially in his state of Texas, men’s sex lives are at stake. It was the ultimate form of male-chauvinism, yet NARAL and other pro-abortion women’s groups took to Twitter in support of the campaign.

Can you believe this actually happened? Here’s what Sherman wrote to other men as to why they should be #brochoice:

·         “Forcing women to adhere to the anti-choice attitudes of state legislators forces men to do the same, and will have serious consequences both on men’s lives and lifestyles.”

·         “Your sex life is at stake. Can you think of anything that kills the vibe faster than a woman fearing a back-alley abortion? Making abortion essentially inaccessible in Texas will add an anxiety to sex that will drastically undercut its joys. And don’t be surprised if casual sex outside of relationships becomes far more difficult to come by.”

Read Texas: A glimpse into the future


And for anyone who may still be holding out on the possibility that Planned Parenthood exists for a noble cause and actually cares about its clientele, here's something to think about:

 

"...the power to change a man's heart"

Ever wonder how the mere mention of "modesty" usually has people thinking of clothes? Modesty really goes beyond that but since we don't go around with our eyes shut, our reactions and judgments are often formed initially by what we see. So it's no surprise that when this virtue is discussed, a lot of it has to do with the kind of clothing we wear.

Jason Evert tackles this topic with humor when he talks about the power that women have over men-- no, he's not pitting men against women or fueling a battle between the sexes here, just giving straight talk on the wonderful differences between how men and women see fashion, and about love and life in general. Jason was in the Philippines in 2011 for the Real Love Revolution event and he'll be back this year, this time with his wife Crystalina! Mark September 7 on your date book!

Here's an excerpt from one of Jason's gigs in Manila.






You can view another video of Jason talking with a group of guys and girls in a previous post

Get the details of Real Love Revolution 2013 at the Catalyst website

Of spark plugs and nail color

I used to think of hardware stores as the most boring places on earth. I just think "hardware store" and images of a sea of gray come to mind. Gray, steel, metal, knobs, pipes, wires... and nothing much else besides maybe blacks, whites and some brown.

I still think hardware stores are boring, but at least they've taken on a more interesting character when I discovered decals and stumbled on some lovely and quirky decorative stickers that can embellish the plainest walls of a home.

I feel practically the same way about car service centers, and while there's a lot one can learn about the workings of a car engine within an hour or two as mechanics tinker with all that gray and black amid the maze-like environment under the hood, my eyes don't exactly light up in anticipation of getting better acquainted with spark plugs or suspension bushing.

I've told friends about this regard I have for the environment in auto detailing shops -- I find the way men huddle around a car's engine, as if it's the most interesting thing in the entire universe, simply fascinating. And the closest equivalent I could think of as far as women are concerned is the excitement that goes on at a makeup counter during a sale or when a new product has just been made available. That, or (since a lot of women do away with makeup) the clothing/shoe store setting during a sale (everybody needs clothes and footwear, after all).

Tastes and preferences vary from person to person; there, too, are the masculine and feminine qualities to be considered. So I understand why men would feel perfectly at home in a talyer (car service center) and women would probably be bored out of their minds there, while men would pass up the chance to stay even minutes at the cosmetics counter or go around a shoe/clothing store trying out items with a friend, while women (in general) would find the experience of talking about colors and fabrics and trying on different shades and styles at the makeup counter or shoe/clothing store positively enjoyable.

I believe more than just the look of the place, the nature of the visit to the place, and the things one sees in the place, it's the quality of the talking that happens there which spells the difference between them.

Take your "typical" beauty salon (if there is such a thing), for example. The conversations that happen between client and mani-pedi specialist (or haircutter) can sometimes be superficial chitchat, but often they are an exchange of personal experiences and even a quasi-counseling session. Or it can be merely an exchange between a lady in need of a sounding board and her kind, accommodating manicurista. It's amazing how a children's book captures this observation from the point of view of a child: In this scene from Ang Makapangyarihang Kyutiks ni Mama, the little girl watches as her mother, a manicurist, works on the nails of one client, who, like all the others her mother calls on, is down in the dumps. Other ladies seem ill or exhausted or fresh from a good cry when she and her mother arrive with the bag containing the bottles of "medicine," the girl says.

What follows is a scene that has become familiar to the little one: as the women take their seats, one holds her fingers or toes in front of the mother, who goes about cleaning them while the two have a talk about things that the child doesn't understand.

She regards her mother as some kind of doctor because there is a complete transformation in the women afterwards.

"Ang galing ng mga kyutiks ng Mama ko. Nagpapabalik sila ng tuwa. Nagpapaalis sila ng galit at pagod. Nagbibigay sila ng ningning sa mga mata. (Mama's bottles of nail polish are extraordinary. They bring back happiness. They take away anger and weariness. They put a twinkle in anyone's eyes.)"

Getting a haircut or having one's nails painted sure can do wonders to lift the spirits. It works for some, not for all. And while it's the new look or the flash of bright color that serves as a pick-me-upper for some ladies, for others it is the conversation with the stylist -- the chance to talk about something -- that seems to be responsible for the transformation.

I'm wrestling with my own unresolved conflict these days, and while I've told myself it's one I have overcome, it seems what will put it to rest -- besides more prayers -- is my own version of a mani-pedi. I'm off to the salon!

Despicable me? Wonderful us!

Well, here's one way to spread your angst if you're angry at the world and want to pull everyone else on a downward spiral with you. Do what you can to warp young minds with self-focused ideas in the hopes of ingraining in them a "me, me and totally me-first" mindset. In other words, have them believe that the world owes them, that the world revolves around them, that everything unfortunate that happens to them is other people's fault, and that life is about them, their wants and needs -- which is what this woman seems to believe based on the keynote address she gave to an audience of teens.

An excerpt from the article:

In her disjointed keynote address, she set out to illustrate how “reproductive justice” must be couched in terms of human rights. She said that the LGBTQ movement is a civil rights movement, while adding that the fight for marriage by lesbians and gays is one she questions, because “I’m not quite sure why we are fighting for the right to be equally miserable. Seems like a crazy demand to me.” She continued, “It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, trust me. But, you know, you’ve got a right to be as messed up as the rest of us.”

Taking the use of base vernacular to a new level while addressing teens, she let the teens know in no uncertain terms that she is a pissed off black woman, a pissed off feminist, she was a pissed off teen, and she is still so pissed off about what happened to her when she was 15 that she will fight the rest of her life to rectify it. In fact, she is pissed off “to the heights of pissivity,” she said. And if you are not pissed off, you are not paying attention, she told the youth.

Read Abstinence impossible, abortion a right: 'pissed feminist' to teens at Planned Parenthood-led event

Fortunately, most women are not out to infect their surroundings with ideas that would throw the world into chaos. And while some members of the fairer sex do have reason to treat men as enemies -- owing probably to traumatic experiences that are yet to be processed -- and tend to be noisy about this adversarial regard of men, the rest live in harmony with them, or at least with the quiet assurance that the sexes are meant to complement one another.

Never mind that men and women are sometimes pitted against each other. Anyway, how we go about relating with one another is up to us. The following may help; it's an excerpt from a booklet (Scepter Publishers, 1991) by the late Dr. Jutta Burggraf  which I acquired years ago:

 Whether man or woman, if we are honest, we feel not only advantages but also certain shortcomings within ourselves. Men may pride themselves in generally thinking more matter-of-factly and judging more objectively than women. But how often does mere reason misguide them towards heartlessness and rigidity! And women might well enjoy being guided by feelings and intuition, but very often relying on these alone leads women into confusion and injustice. Male and female nature both need a strong touch of the other sex's characteristics to enhance harmony and balance within a single human person.

Love and self-worth, 'in the flesh'

Here's an excerpt:

The clothes I wear do not make me who I am, but ultimately reflect my beliefs. Immodest dress reveals that I do not see my worth. If I knew my worth, I wouldn’t be tempting guys. I wouldn’t be using my body as an object.

Here's the graphic:

And here's the piece that puts things in perspective as regards self-worth, love, and a "little black dress".

(I so admire writers who can express so much -- clearly -- in so few words)

Ladies and gentlemen

 

"Women possess a unique power to shape cultures. Men look to you to learn how you wish to be treated. When women, as a culture, expect to be treated with dignity, something remarkable happens: Men discover that they'll have to become gentlemen if they wish to enjoy the company of women."

 

- Jason & Crystalina Evert, "How to Find Your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul"

Let the Women Speak

The times call for it, and the times have equipped us with much, much more than typewriters, the Pony Express, and even "snail" mail.

With all the means at our disposal, there aren't many reasons not to take part in Let the Women Speak. In a nutshell, the Philippine government is poised to force upon the people a proposed bill that will carry out population control by way of institutionalized birth control and a comprehensive six-year sex education program for all schools -- brushing off intense and massive opposition from various sectors. In the middle of all this are the women.

Now is not the time to be a mere spectator. Filipinas, wherever in the world you are right now, be counted! Gentlemen, please share the following with the women in your life (wife, mother, sisters, other female relatives, friends and colleagues...). Believe that your signature will make a difference -- then pass this on.

WE are women who believe that the Reproductive Health bill, in all its past and present forms, is detrimental to us, our sex, our marriages, and our families.

WE are Catholics and non-Catholics. We are women of faith, and we are also women of reason.

WE believe in true women’s health. We believe in respecting our bodies and the natural processes with which we have been gifted. 

Far from empowering us as women, the RH bill promotes our objectification. It does not address the causes of exploitation and violence against women at their roots. It does not solve the problem of men seeing us as mere sources of pleasure. It does not promote our inherent dignity as human beings worthy of respect. State-funded, state-guaranteed access to contraception only empowers those who wish to take advantage of us without having to worry about consequences.

WE do not believe in artificial birth control. Birth control does not come free. As taxpayers we will be paying for it, and as women we will be suffering its effects on our bodies. We will not tolerate the deliberate dismissal of scholarly research that shows contraception’s deleterious effects. We will not tolerate the trampling of our Constitution that says life must be protected at all stages from conception to natural death. 

We will not tolerate the imposition of governmental contraceptive programs meant to control the population and to brainwash our youth. We do not want the long-term effects of the sexual revolution brought about by a contraceptive mentality.

Granting that the secular government is not beholden to the Catholic or Christian faith, attempting to speak for us women via a socialist agenda destroys the very fiber of democratic breath we have as a people. Doing this undermines our freedom to adhere to something Good, Moral and Ethical. Recognizing our “reproductive” rights as women should not include FORCING us to discard our right to freely believe in morality and goodness and if we choose to, our religious tenets and doctrines.

No one speaks for all of us on these issues. We stand with the Catholic bishops and all leaders, religious and otherwise, who recognize the truth of life-affirming teachings with regard to sex, marriage and family. We call on President Aquino and our Representatives in Congress to heed the voice of all Filipino women, not just the loudest ones. We call on all our leaders to continue to allow us to freely witness to our faiths and beliefs in all their fullness.

Please send your name, address and occupation to the person who sent you this message, or to thefilipinos4life@gmail.com or to thefilipinosforlife@gmail.com. Thank you!

From Filipinos for Life

Don't you sometimes feel...

... like men and women are always being turned against each other? In my native Tagalog, parang palagi na lang pinag-aaway. Men are better than women; women can do everything that men can, only better. Blah blah blah. The concept of men and women being created equal but different is brushed off or scoffed at many times, so sometimes you may think, "What's the point in insisting on this basic principle for those who believe in the all-loving and all-powerful God who knows what's best and who wills only the good?"

Here's something to ponder:

Make a point this week to affirm the men in your life–father, brother, friend, boyfriend, husband–in their uniqueness, in the things that make them uniquely different from you. Not better, nor worse, but a complement to who we are as women. I have found that when they are able to be all that they were made to be as good men, it is then that we are free to be everything it means to be a good woman.

Came across this at Verily. Read the rest here.

Who wears the pants around here?! (No one.)

A remark a co-worker uttered  yesterday struck me. He said he sees more women in dresses and skirts on Facebook than he does in real life. It seems majority of women nowadays go about their business in pants. Interesting. Is that cause for concern? Frankly, it initially prompted me to think if this observation indicated a departure of sorts from femininity, but then what a blanket statement, huh? It's not as if putting on your Levi's  = abandoning all sense of the feminine. Now that I think about my colleague's remark, it could mean that women in this generation enjoy the benefits of more choices in life. Whether or not one makes good choices is beside the point; what's usually taken for granted is that there are immensely more options for women to choose from -- be it on field of study, social norms, or even wardrobe concerns, as the scenario described here shows.

Notwithstanding the fact that having more options as regards clothing can lead to a more time-consuming decision-making process, some of the available options out there are definitely worth considering! Bottom line really is that clothing is for the purpose of affirming the innate dignity of a person (of course, besides the obvious purpose of providing protection for the body -- even our ancestors from the cave-dwelling days knew this). And accessories... thank God for accessories, which are a practical solution for "expanding" one's wardrobe without purchasing more and more clothes.

Okay, so we acquire some practical know-how from this post, here's a step-by-step guide on adding yet another option to your list of how-to-wear-a-scarf list, pictured above:

Fold scarf in half. Loop around neck. Pull only one strand of the scarf through the loop. Twist loop, then pull other strand through.


* First photo: Black dress by Christian Dior
* Second photo: Outfit by Oscar de la Renta
* Third photo: I have no idea but the photo and how-to instructions, as well as the other two photos, are from Pinterest.

Mr. Moonlight and the serenade

You know how practically everyone at some point ends up saying things like "During my time, we didn't have computer games and remote control cars -- we played outside, climbed trees and invented our own games!" or "Now people take lots of pictures but back then we didn't have digital cameras. We used film so we chose our shots and we had to get the film developed..."? Or what about "Back then, you could tell who were girls and who were boys. Nowadays it can be confusing..." and "During my time, you could understand what songs were about, but nowadays songs are just so angry all the time -- or it's about a guy singing his less-than-noble intentions concerning some girl (or girls)!"

I've always liked it when my parents reminisce the "good old days" because it was like being transported into another era. Stories of "the Japanese occupation," or things like euthenics class and cadena de amor, or how they spent over a month aboard a ship traveling from the States to the Philippines (this mode of cross-continental travel was pretty much the norm in the 1950s) were always fascinating. Talk about being worlds apart!

But over dinner tonight I was flabbergasted to learn that my mom was once serenaded with a complete orchestra as accompaniment! Don't those things only happen in the movies?? Apparently not.

We started talking about it when I asked her if she had experienced studying in a Catholic school. "Yes, at Blessed ... " It was *Blessed something Academy, the complete name of which I shall ask my mom first thing tomorrow as the name escapes me now. Anyway, it was in the province where she grew up, and she said she and one of her sisters were sent there by their parents to be far from the Japanese soldiers, who came in droves when the Philippines got involved in the war. This was in the early 1940s.

So, she related how she attended about a year of high school at the Blessed (Something) Academy and lived there for the duration of the school year. Then she casually mentioned the time she was serenaded and chuckled at the thought of the nuns and her schoolmates enjoying the treat immensely. Visions of 1950s LVN Pictures-looking gentlemen in white suits, strumming acoustic guitars, popped in my head -- which turned out to be closer to a dream sequence in a movie than reality.

"Serenade? Harana? Yung kinakantahan ka tapos nakadungaw ka sa bintana sa 2nd floor?"

"Oo, pero full orchestra."

"Full orchestra?! Pati piano??"

"Ah hindi, walang piano. But all the other instruments..."

"Drums?" "Yes, may drums." "Violins? Cello, yung malaking nakatayo? Trumpet...?"

"Oo, pati saxophone," my mom said, amused by my disbelief.

Well, I was floored. How nice -- being serenaded by someone during that era, someone who probably looked like the dashing movie stars of those days. At this point I was shocked when she casually mentioned that "Pacita" (or some similar name) was the "crooner."

"Huh? Babae? Why?"

"Eh accordion ang tinutugtog ni ______." I couldn't remember his name; obviously it wasn't my dad. So it turns out it wasn't that unusual to have a woman or someone else for that matter who was part of your posse, sing to the lady of your dreams. And you could request an entire playlist!

"Ay, I can't remember anymore...but meron yatang 'Moonlight Serenade'... 'Blue Moon' din," my mom said when I asked her what songs were sung to her.

What joy. And how positively unfamiliar. I tried to imagine the whole setup -- where the singers were, what the lucky ladies were wearing, what they were doing... and I discovered that none of the sleeping quarters in schools (at least at that time) were on the first floor of the building. So it would really have to be a Romeo-Juliet, Rapunzel-Prince Charming kind of arrangement.

"Basta tatapat sa bintana yung naghaharana," my mother said.

"What if you were in the bathroom taking a bath when the serenaders arrived?" I asked, wondering about propriety when it came to making people wait or if the lucky ladies actually stepped out on the ledge (if there was one), or peered mysteriously through sheer curtains or casually stuck their heads out the window to enjoy the music.

"Okey lang yon, matagal pa naman bago matapos ang kumakanta kasi maraming songs, (That's okay, it's going to take them long to finish since they sing plenty of songs)," she laughed.

And guys who wanted to serenade their ladies waited for the moon. No, there was no werewolf thing or some "lucky charm" superstition going on -- the moonlight helped illuminate the streets even more. Apparently, the street lamps in the province at that time weren't adequate.

I was really in awe of the customs concerning social dealings at the time so I asked my mom plenty of questions: after the singing does the girl have to invite the serenaders into the house? Was there some kind of "code" which signified that she was interested in knowing him more and another "code" to let him know he had better set his sights on some other girl?

"No, you just say thank you and then they leave," my mom said. She was obviously having fun reminiscing and remembering how the other girls in the school were thoroughly delighted by the experience. Well, I'm sure I would have been, too, had I been around to witness it!

Had video cams been discovered before that time, capturing such a thing would have been wonderful. Oh, and I learned the men who did the serenading were usually garbed in shirts, not white suits. "T-shirt?" I asked.

"Walang nag-T-T-shirt noon!" she scoffed, amused at the idea.

Okay, the white suits are only in the movies. I didn't really need a video or even snapshots to enjoy what my mom just related to me. Just thinking about it can almost make me hear the strains of Glenn Miller's Orchestra wafting in the air :-)

On second thought, let this set the mood (check out the lyrics, too):







Addendum:

* Blessed Imelda's Academy (Dagupan, Pangasinan)

* It sure paid to have friends in music -- the orchestra that was borrowed for the serenade was apparently a seasoned one which was hired regularly for town fiestas, big parties and the like!

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