Maybe bathroom door signs should be "Male DNA" and "Female DNA"

There have been some topics in the past that I'd wanted to blog about but just couldn't, simply because I had nothing else to say beyond one sentence -- maybe two. For example, lately I've noticed a disturbing number of adults who cross the street with a child in tow, and with the little one on the dangerous side. Sometimes it's an adult and a child strolling on a sidewalk, with the child on the dangerous side and whose hand his/her older companion isn't even holding. I had wanted to write about it because to me that's a pretty important matter to point out. But I couldn't think of anything else to say besides "Don't people know the concept of 'the dangerous side'? Why do grown-ups cross the street with kids and let the little ones stay on the dangerous side?" Nothing else comes to mind, because in my opinion, this is something basic.

Another example is littering. You probably see a lot of them, too, specially if Manila is your home -- dudes flicking a cigarette butt just anywhere while walking, tossing a candy wrapper out of a car or jeepney window, and other such sights. Even now that care for the environment has become a concern that's broadcasted and marketed in the mainstream, these things still happen a lot. But I can think of only one thing to say regarding this:

"Don't litter."

That's it. Ah but there's one other thing:

"I am  tempted to make a citizen's arrest each time I see some fellow toss litter just anywhere."

As you can see, elaborating on the point is difficult for me. It's just so basic that more words seem superfluous.

Now lately, there have been instances which demonstrate that something I consider one of the most basic of all basic principles in life is not so basic to some people after all. And that is: boys belong in the men's room, and girls belong in the ladies' room. By that of course I mean males -- biological, natural-born -- and females -- biological, natural-born. The only exceptions I would consider are instances involving toddler and pre-schooler boys (and maybe a year or two more) in which the absence of their dad, uncle or any male relation necessitates their mom, aunt or any female relation bringing them to the ladies' room to do their bathroom business. So, basically, in my mind it's as simple as what I stated above: boys belong in the men's room, and girls belong in the ladies' room. Nothing else to say.

However, even in these times that the basic principle seems to be questionable in some quarters, I couldn't think of anything else to say to drive home the point. And then I saw this on Facebook:

Cute baby huh? The little one made me realize that it's largely about privacy.

And then, recent developments in other parts of the world regarding what have come to be referred to as "gender identity" and "sexual orientation" have helped me see that just because a person says and believes he is something doesn't mean it is so. More specifically, just because a guy says he feels that he's a girl does not mean that he is a girl and that he should expect the environment and everyone else to make adjustments to suit his belief about himself. As a matter of fact, those of us who know better are aware that condoning such a person by affirming his ideas about himself is akin to telling a dude who believes he is a superhero who can fly that he should be proud of himself for being a superhero and to go ahead and launch into flight. It simply is not helping the person any. What he needs is compassion, treatment, and to cultivate a life of faith. What he does not need is other people telling him that his delusions are real and congratulating him for being delusional. That does not sound compassionate to me; if anything, it sounds convenient -- for the people around him, because of course helping the person become grounded in reality can be immensely difficult and will require much effort.

That being said, here is one of the incidents involving the matter of bathroom privacy and the rest of society being forced by institutions to compromise their privacy (not to mention, safety and hygiene) for the sake of individuals who insist on their delusions and therefore demand that rules be adjusted to cater to these delusions. If I may say so, individuals with such a psychological condition need and deserve treatment (psycho-spiritual), not special treatment.

In this situation, a 17 year old boy decided he was actually a girl, and thus should be entitled to use the girls’ locker room and bathroom. The school bent over backwards trying to find a compromise, even offering the guy a private, unisex facility, but that wasn’t good enough. He wanted the girls’ bathroom, and of course, what the girls wanted was entirely irrelevant.

Encouragingly, some of the students in the school didn’t stand for it. They protested this week, insisting it’s not fair to expect girls to use the bathroom or undress around a boy. They’re right, obviously, but it’s worse than that. Let’s be clear: it is ABUSIVE to coerce, intimidate, or otherwise force young girls to share their facilities with a boy. I don’t care if he’s gender confused or not. I don’t care if he wears a wig or not. All I care about, all that matters, all that make a difference, is that he is a boy with boy parts, a boy’s body, a boy’s genetic makeup, a boy’s brain, a boy’s everything. He’s a boy. That’s all. That’s it. That’s the whole story.

Girls (and boys) deserve and are entitled to a safe and private place to change and do their business. It is simply unconscionable and despicable to take that away from them.

Read Forcing girls to share a bathroom with a gender-confused boy is abuse

Here's more food for thought -- involving privacy in locker rooms this time.

"Women and men being naked together in the same locker room, taking showers and doing all this and they're saying that doesn't have any component of a sexual nature to it," [Atty. David] Kallman said.

"You don't have those facts in this case," [Midland County Circuit Court Judge Michael] Beale replied.

Kallman said "we don't have to wait for that to occur" and that the transgender-friendly locker room policy itself is "sexual in nature by allowing men in the women's locker room."

Beale came back to the threshold required for sexual harassment claims several times and Kallman continued to respond by saying the policy itself is sexual in nature and that no actual sexual incidents needed to occur for that to meet the threshold.

An African voice on cultural imperialism

Culture of Life Africa

Does Planned Parenthood offer discounts on fetal parts bought in bulk?

Who knows if such an inquiry would one day be brought up by some company or shady characters in the black market when Planned Parenthood makes an underground "Up for grabs! Healthy heart-and-lungs package from 24-week-old, and freshly harvested fully developed liver!" announcement?!

The latest news regarding Planned Parenthood is revolting, but it is only the latest of a string of practices that worsen already serious societal ills and which glaringly show why Planned Parenthood deserves to be shut down. The recently disclosed evidence showing the abortion provider's trafficking of fetal organs shouldn't distract us from the fact that it is still responsible for the death of more than 300,000 human lives every year.

And just in case you have allowed some people's dazzling arguments to convince you so that a part of you doubts the humanity of babies in their mother's womb, it's really simple:

This and this are worthy reads to bring you up to speed and help you form your own judgment on the issue. And more developments on the investigations to be conducted by the U.S. House of Representatives and five states (as of this writing) are here.

Breaking free: 4 gay men speak out

The following contains testimonies from men who, at one time or another, engaged in homosexual activity and who know well the struggles that come with being attracted to persons of the same sex. There may be cultural differences (two are from the Philippines while the other two are in the West) but amid all of these and amid the experiences they have gone through, the one thing that led them to seek the truth and, inadvertently, to a joy and freedom they did not know before then, was the choice to love God. As one of them put it, "I'm attracted to men, but I love God more."

Kung ako lang ang masusunod, gusto ko rin sanang mag-asawa ng kapwa ko lalake kasi 'yan ang hilig ng katawan ko at ilang beses na rin ako nagmahal ng kapwa ko lalake. Umabot pa noon sa puntong nangarap kaming magpakasal kahit bawal pa noon. Pero kumilos ang Diyos sa buhay ko hanggang sa natunton ko na mas mahal ko ang Diyos kaysa sino mang lalake na dumaan sa buhay ko. At ayon sa banal na kasulatan, hindi ang makiapid sa kapwa ko lalake ang gusto ng Diyos para sa buhay ko. May dakila Siyang plano para sa buhay na ibinigay Niya sa akin. Kaya pinili kong sundin ang Diyos imbes na ang sarili ko. Ang plano Niya ang perpekto. Ngayon, mayroon akong kapayapaan at ligaya sa buhay na hindi kayang tumbasan ng anupaman. Salamat sa pagpapatawad mo o Diyos! Alleluya!

(If it were up to me, I would like to marry another man because that would be following the dictates of my body and I have loved men several times. It even reached a point in which we dreamed of going through with a wedding despite its being prohibited at the time. But God worked in my life until I realized that I love God more than any man who had entered and would enter my life. And according to sacred scriptures, to fornicate with other men  is not what God wants for me. He has a great plan for the life he has given me. Hence, I chose to follow God rather than my own desire. His plan is perfect. Now, I have peace and joy that nothing whatsoever can equal. Thank you for your forgiveness, oh God! Alleluia!)

- Cesar Evangelista Buendia, from a post on his Facebook account (set to public)

* * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * *

According to [Jovi Atanacio], while many members of the same sex desire union with their romantic partners because of love, Atanacio believes true love desires more than just physical and emotional union.

“It wishes the good of the other. It wishes the good of the other person, encouraging him or her to embrace the virtue of chastity,” he explained.

He clarified, however, that chastity does not mean turning one’s back on love, pointing out it is but a profound and courageous expression of that same love.

Single and chaste, Atanacio, who also maintains the Facebook group “Wanted: Filipino Saints”, underscored the need to grow in the understanding of what love really means.

“If two members of the same sex profess love for each other, they will strive to do what is best for one other. They will encourage one another to identify themselves as beloved children of God who happen to experience same-sex attractions, rather than people who are defined by their sexual urges and happen to believe in God.”

- from 'I'm attracted to men, but I love God more' - Catholic man

* * * * * * * * * * *

The other day, I was joking with someone about smoking crack, like you do because people make jokes about using hard drugs with the understanding that, ‘oh, nobody I know deals with that.’ And then literally the day after I made that joke, I found out that somebody who I’ve known for a very long time has been smoking crack for months and months.

And that is exactly the sort of situation I dealt with growing up, which is where it was sort of standard to make jokes, ‘ha ha, gay people’ because nobody we know is gay – and of course if you hear that sort of thing all the time, you begin to think of yourself as outside of the realm of normal human experience.

Is that how you felt growing up?

Absolutely.

Do you think that that actually pushed you more outside ‘the realm of normal human experience,’ because you perceived it to be that way?

Very much so. It sounds cliché to say it, but your perception really does become your reality. If you believe yourself to be of such a nature that you don’t actually belong in society with most other people, then you begin to interpret small thoughtlessnesses as large exclusions, and so you become less able to interact with your actual peers. And then they see you beginning to draw back, and start to think of you as someone who doesn’t really want to be part of their group anyway.

How have you managed to overcome that in adulthood?

Partly through therapy; partly through the group, People Can Change; partly through friendship; and partly through my spiritual director.

- Joseph Prever a.k.a. Steve Gershom, from Why choose celibacy? A gay Catholic speaks out, the second of a 2-part interview

On Capt. Picard, wedding cakes, and the real meaning of tolerance

It's not only in the United States that bakers are being forced into closing their businesses and being threatened with lawsuits if they refuse to extend their services to some clients. An incident involving another wedding cake and a same-sex couple happened in Ireland, and Jean-Luc Picard a.k.a. Patrick Stewart stated his position on the matter. Find out why he took the side of the bakers.

And do you equate tolerance with never disagreeing with others? Do you lose your cool because other people seem to be full of bigotry? You may just learn a thing or two from the stuff Chris Stefanick says here:

Vanity and what's fair: the person on the cover

Women are beautiful because they are women. Womanhood is itself beautiful. Women bring something distinct and special to the world. They fill a void and play a role that no man can.

A woman is a woman not merely because of whatever cosmetic feature a man might vaguely emulate. A woman is a woman because of her biology, which Bruce does not share and never will. A woman is a woman because of her capacity to create life and harbor it in her body until birth, which Bruce cannot do. A woman is a woman because of her soul, her mind, her perspective, her experiences, and her unique way of thinking, of loving, and of being — all things Bruce can only mimic.

A woman is a woman. She has earned that title. She pays for that title. She suffers with that title and gives life with that title and lives from conception until death and beyond with that title. She is that title.

- from Calling Bruce Jenner a Woman Is an Insult to Women

* * * * * * * * * *

I’m not surprised that the conclusion he arrived at was that he needed to surgically alter his outward appearance in an attempt to calm down the inner turmoil.

What is this world we live in? Why can we not see that superficiality is self-defeating in the end? We all seek communion, to be loved and accepted for who we are INSIDE. We need people to see beyond the masks, past the walls, into the very core of who we are as human beings, as God’s creation. When that happens, we blossom, as flowers in the sun. We don’t cower in the darkness waiting for death to come for us.

The world seems to think this is the blossoming, the ultimate freedom for Bruce Jenner. But he has simply exchanged the masks he was wearing before, the walls he put up around himself, for new masks and new walls. Sooner or later the masks will have to come off, and the walls have to crumble.

- from Dear Bruce, You Need the Almighty, Not Caitlyn



 When I started this post, I honestly didn't know what else to do with it besides provide excerpts and links to stories worth reading about the issue that has hogged the headlines in media-saturated societies for weeks now.

When I started this post, the Vanity Fair cover image had likely become a familiar sight to most if not all heavy social media users. It still is being used to accompany many write-ups pertaining to Bruce Jenner, homosexuality, gender, "transgenderism," and anything remotely related to these. But the initial novelty and avid interest that come with anything out of the ordinary being presented in media have waned, as expected. Is that good or bad? I don't know. Interest when it's prompted by morbid curiosity can easily lead to a gossip session, that much I know. A genuine desire to learn and to bring something helpful to the table, on the other hand, is the way to go. So, is the general waning interest in the Bruce Jenner news along with all the details something to rejoice or lament? It depends on what motivates people to want to know more about the whole thing.

When I started this post, I wished it were easier to constantly remember that Bruce is a person with feelings, ideas, aspirations, talents, struggles, unfortunate experiences, a soul. He also has parents, children, women who at one time or another were his spouse. This means the center of this entire issue is a human being, not some object or commodity but someone who ought to be accorded respect and compassion that is due any child of God. Now, after poring over news, more detailed features as well as opinion pieces, his humanity has somehow become more pronounced in my mind. Who will be unable to regard the one-time Olympian with even just a tinge of compassion (or pity even) upon learning that he struggled as a young boy with the confusion of seriously wanting to be a girl and opted to hide his feelings for many years instead of confiding in someone who could have guided him and helped him find healing? Reading further about the things he has said in recent interviews shows even more clearly his confusion pertaining to his sexuality. Learning that his mother will continue to call her son "Bruce" because "his father and I named him that" is all I need to keep in mind that, hey, this is a human being -- with parents who will have to deal with their son's choices and struggles and come across the comments (both heartening and unsavory) that others may make. If only for the sake of being more careful about the manner in which I evaluate this issue regarding Bruce, I shall do my best to remember that amid the discussions of "feminization surgery," "gay pride" and gender confusion, is another child of God.

Now, compassion and compromise don't necessarily go hand in hand, so it's perfectly possible to maintain one's love and respect for someone while pointing out what needs to be pointed out. Going along and agreeing, after all, may demonstrate many other things and not genuine caring and friendship; everyone has had an experience or two regarding this, so though I won't elaborate, you'll know exactly what I mean if you do some reminiscing about your own relationships.

Let me share with you a piece I came across today and which resounded with me the most so far as it touched on vital points that didn't even occur to me prior to reading it. Below is an excerpt but -- like the two previous materials I included here, I highly encourage you to read the whole thing.

When an emaciated young woman suffering from anorexia tells us she is fat, we don’t show her to the plus size department and hand her diet pills.  When someone suffering from severe body dysphoria tells us his arm or leg isn’t supposed to be there, we don’t rush him in for an amputation or give him a chainsaw.  If a person is deluded into thinking he’s Barack Obama, we don’t let him anywhere near the Oval Office.  But for some reason, our society has chosen to treat gender dysphoria differently.  We reinforce the delusion instead of helping people accept the reality of their own biology.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are expected to carry on as if nothing is wrong, or even out of the ordinary.  Schools and businesses are forced to permit biological males to use female-only toileting and shower facilities, regardless of how women and girls may feel about it.  Female athletes are forced to compete against biological males, regardless of the added risk to their safety.

- from The Emperor is a Crossdresser

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While thinking of a  title for this post, the name "Bruce" reminded me of other men with the same name: specifically Bruce Banner and Bruce Wayne. Funny how both happen to be superheroes, and Bruce Jenner is in some way a hero as well owing to his athletic skills and the honor he brought his country and family through his Olympic feats. But the first two are fictional characters, and that spells the difference. Bruce Jenner is not 2-dimensional but a real person. And with that comes a certain dignity that no one can ever take away, especially if he himself knows and understands its essence, lets it guide his choices, and holds on to it.

Grey matter

From Matt Walsh's article (the article I appreciate most regarding a certain book-turned-movie):

We need to consider, or more specifically fans of “Fifty Shades” need to consider, why anyone would find this kind of story entertaining or enjoyable. If you’ve already Fandangoed your tickets and are eagerly anticipating spending your Friday night wrapped up in a twisted fairy tale of fetishism and sexual abuse, ask yourself: why?

This isn’t a neutral thing. It’s not “just a movie.” It is a movie, sure, but it’s a movie with a very particular plot that could only appeal to you for very particular reasons.

If you go and see a documentary about penguins, it tells me that you like penguins, and you probably like penguins because everyone knows they’re fascinating and delightful. If you go and see a “romance” about a wealthy sadist who leads a young woman into a sex dungeon and rapes her repeatedly, it tells me that you like stories about young women being raped repeatedly by wealthy sadists in sex dungeons. That is not just a matter of taste. It’s a sign of something profound and depraved.

Full story

Matt Walsh blog

Edit (Feb. 16): I had a seen a link to this "A Letter to My Children About Fifty Shades of Grey" posted on Facebook earlier but dismissed it as the usual preachy, finger-wagging type of advice from some stern parent. What a mistake.

I sat in the theatre and looked around me at hundreds of women, buying into this so-called ‘sexy love story’ and I felt sick. If an entire theatre of women three times your age couldn’t see how damaging this plot line is, how on earth are teenage girls and boys supposed to?

Please, my daughters, don’t allow this romanticizing of sexual domestic abuse fool you into believing that you should ever allow yourself to be treated like Anastasia Steele. Please, my son, don’t watch this one day and believe that it’s ever okay to intimidate, manipulate or disrespect a woman like the ‘hero,’ Christian Grey. Nobody, male or female, wants or deserves to be disrespected, manipulated or violated against his or her wishes.
 ...
If he monitors your phone calls and threatens you with physical harm because another man calls you, he’s not in love with you. He’s abusing and controlling you.

If beating you with a leather strap until you cry is what gives him pleasure and he asks you to do it despite your distress because it turns him on and then plays the victim to explain it all away, there is no soundtrack in the world that should quiet the voice in your head that yells out that love and romance were never in the picture and they never will be.

Read the entire letter here

On testosterone, romance, and "supply & demand"

What a novel way to explore the topic of sex, relationships, and how the lopsided picture which is currently in favor of men can be set right. And here are a few lines from the fascinating video below that should make us consider what's going on --

"For a woman to know what she wants in a relationship and to signal it clearly especially if it's different than what most men want, this is her power in the economy. But none of these things seem to be occurring -- not now, at least. Today the economics of contemporary sexual relationships clearly favor men and what they want, even while what they are offering in exchange has diminished."

Hearts on fire: what is the big deal?

"It's just sex -- what is the big deal?"

Ever heard that line before? I have, plenty of times. And uttered with unmistakable exasperation. Which may as well have had the person say it straight instead of posing a question. Because what was probably on her mind was "It's just sex -- it's no big deal."

Thing is, regarding sex as "no big deal" often means not understanding sex beyond its being a biological function. Two people do it, do their best to enjoy it, and there you go. Love can be part of the equation, but not necessarily. They may be a couple, they may have met for the first time only hours before. Money may

have been part of the exchange. A dare may have been part of the deal. Each of them may be bound by a matrimonial vow, but not to one another. She could be totally into him and hopes to reel him in permanently, while he could be counting her as the "Flavor of the Month," one of many conquests. But one thing about us human beings is that none of us (man or woman) relish being treated like ice cream -- source of delight and center of attention for the time being, only to be set aside and eventually forgotten when the thrill wears off and the need for a  more exciting flavor sets in.

If you find that you do regard sex as no big deal, it's still possible you understand that sex is meant to be more than the physical and emotional (some will add spiritual) highs that it can lead to and which brilliant scripts and brilliant lighting and brilliant music (plus a stellar cast) can make it out to be. Sometime ago you may even have understood that sex is something special and beautiful but then somewhere along the way, you experienced some things that changed all that. It could be anything, from porn and your "wise" friends' pronouncements about "exciting hook-ups," to your parents' breakup and one guy's undivided attention that he quickly turned elsewhere after you gave him all of yours (and much, much more). It could be anything. But, see, you don't have a monopoly on this downward change in perspective about love and relationships due to your surroundings or your experiences. And more importantly, you're not the only one who – maybe deep down inside – dreams of something better. And most importantly, there is reason to hope for and work for something better.

So then why is sex a big deal? Well, because love is a big deal. And who have been created to love? It's certainly not those cute dogs, lovable though they are. It's (surprise, surprise) we -- you and me and every other person on the planet. We have been created out of love, to love, and we have an entire lifetime to do this. And sex is merely an extension of how love -- complete, self-giving love --  is manifested within the proper parameters. Lest I end up making sex seem like the end-all and be-all of life (which it is not, but it is the subject of this post, after all), let me then emphasize a vital point about it that anyone can easily overlook at one time or another, if not occasionally reminded: everything good in this world is a gift, and that includes sex. Thing is, when we discard the notion of something as a gift, we tend to be careless. Pretty soon we adopt an attitude that has us thinking we deserve this and that and so many other things.

Picture this: when something has been given as a gift, it ought to be appreciated and taken care of. When you give a good friend  a present, do you rejoice at seeing it tossed aside? When it's something precious, would handling it carelessly be the right thing to do? In the same way, love, sex, relationships, family, your significant other and all these in your life that money cannot buy are gifts, and keeping that in mind will help you remember that they are a big deal -- in varying degrees.

But here's something else: think of yourself as a gift and you'll realize that you are important, that you are a big deal. It's not some feel-good concept or something I'm saying just to boost your self-confidence (though the latter may end up being a result of this realization); it is the truth. And the more people take it to heart, the happier we will be and the easier it will be to decide what are worth prioritizing and what can be relegated to the back when it comes to the choices we make.

When you think of yourself as a gift, you'll naturally expect to be treated well, to be treated carefully. Because you are a big deal.

Now that we're talking gifts, a lot of those boxed presents and be-ribboned blooms are being handed out this week (the entire month, actually, as Valentine's Day in the more commercialized locales is extended into a long money-making opportunity -- not being cynical here, just presenting a pragmatic perspective with which quite a number of entrepreneurs treat the occasion). Enjoy them! At the same time, choose wisely when it comes to invitations to celebrate a "Happy Hearts' Day". Choose what wisely? The person extending the invite, your ensemble, the activity, the venue, the decision (to accept or not to accept), everything. If you're the guy, let your inner gentleman come out if you've been keeping him in hiding. For some pointers to consider (and some entertaining reads), here are links worth checking out. It's Valentine Month, but I suggest not reading them with rose-colored glasses (read: take them in with eyes wide open):



Equal love is unequal love

On protecting your lady love

Putting the "Saint" back in Valentine's Day 

"Purity Ring 3000"

Of chastity, tattoos, and the Powerpuff Girls


P.S. Oh, parents, I think you will want to see this

Going beyond "nuthin' we can do about it"

When one comes across weird or scandalous news from time to time, there's the danger of getting so accustomed to such things that hardly is any repugnance or even aversion experienced with each story read and each anecdote heard. In other words, what are basically manifestations of perversion might eventually be viewed by many as normal or even commendable. But I have faith in humanity so here I am, sharing links to stories that reflect the direction society is heading. Though truth and goodness prevail most of the time, let's not lose our footing by adopting a mindset along the lines of "That's the way life is, nothin' we can do about it!" when we do hear of unfortunate incidents. No, no. Unless you throw in the towel and allow a defeatist attitude to guide your days, these stories are merely reminders of our mission. What mission, you ask? Well, only you can answer that because each is a unique individual for which the Maker has made a unique game plan. Have you figured out what yours is? After all, as someone once uttered, "What man is a man who does not make the world better?"

Never mind if that intro I just wrote has nothing to do with the stories below, which are fairly recent. I just hope you became aware that we can't simply turn a blind eye to these things happening around us and act as if life is all about living a me-first existence.

Family sues because nursing home won't starve mother to death

Lesbian couple gives adopted son hormone-blockers to make him a girl

Euthanasia out of control: Belgian transsexual euthanized after botched sex change

Despicable me? Wonderful us!

Well, here's one way to spread your angst if you're angry at the world and want to pull everyone else on a downward spiral with you. Do what you can to warp young minds with self-focused ideas in the hopes of ingraining in them a "me, me and totally me-first" mindset. In other words, have them believe that the world owes them, that the world revolves around them, that everything unfortunate that happens to them is other people's fault, and that life is about them, their wants and needs -- which is what this woman seems to believe based on the keynote address she gave to an audience of teens.

An excerpt from the article:

In her disjointed keynote address, she set out to illustrate how “reproductive justice” must be couched in terms of human rights. She said that the LGBTQ movement is a civil rights movement, while adding that the fight for marriage by lesbians and gays is one she questions, because “I’m not quite sure why we are fighting for the right to be equally miserable. Seems like a crazy demand to me.” She continued, “It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, trust me. But, you know, you’ve got a right to be as messed up as the rest of us.”

Taking the use of base vernacular to a new level while addressing teens, she let the teens know in no uncertain terms that she is a pissed off black woman, a pissed off feminist, she was a pissed off teen, and she is still so pissed off about what happened to her when she was 15 that she will fight the rest of her life to rectify it. In fact, she is pissed off “to the heights of pissivity,” she said. And if you are not pissed off, you are not paying attention, she told the youth.

Read Abstinence impossible, abortion a right: 'pissed feminist' to teens at Planned Parenthood-led event

Fortunately, most women are not out to infect their surroundings with ideas that would throw the world into chaos. And while some members of the fairer sex do have reason to treat men as enemies -- owing probably to traumatic experiences that are yet to be processed -- and tend to be noisy about this adversarial regard of men, the rest live in harmony with them, or at least with the quiet assurance that the sexes are meant to complement one another.

Never mind that men and women are sometimes pitted against each other. Anyway, how we go about relating with one another is up to us. The following may help; it's an excerpt from a booklet (Scepter Publishers, 1991) by the late Dr. Jutta Burggraf  which I acquired years ago:

 Whether man or woman, if we are honest, we feel not only advantages but also certain shortcomings within ourselves. Men may pride themselves in generally thinking more matter-of-factly and judging more objectively than women. But how often does mere reason misguide them towards heartlessness and rigidity! And women might well enjoy being guided by feelings and intuition, but very often relying on these alone leads women into confusion and injustice. Male and female nature both need a strong touch of the other sex's characteristics to enhance harmony and balance within a single human person.

Love and self-worth, 'in the flesh'

Here's an excerpt:

The clothes I wear do not make me who I am, but ultimately reflect my beliefs. Immodest dress reveals that I do not see my worth. If I knew my worth, I wouldn’t be tempting guys. I wouldn’t be using my body as an object.

Here's the graphic:

And here's the piece that puts things in perspective as regards self-worth, love, and a "little black dress".

(I so admire writers who can express so much -- clearly -- in so few words)

Ladies and gentlemen

 

"Women possess a unique power to shape cultures. Men look to you to learn how you wish to be treated. When women, as a culture, expect to be treated with dignity, something remarkable happens: Men discover that they'll have to become gentlemen if they wish to enjoy the company of women."

 

- Jason & Crystalina Evert, "How to Find Your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul"

Celebrating the RH bill’s enactment into law: Doing the right thing?

How can it be the right thing when you help promote irresponsible parenthood by transferring to the State the parental duty of forming one’s children? When you needlessly endanger -- seriously in many cases -- the health of women and then even require taxpayers to finance putting women's lives at risk? When you treat poor people like animals and assume they can't learn or discipline themselves or think for themselves if given the correct information and encouragement? When you force people of faith to violate their faith and then call the measure something that promotes freedom of choice? 

How can it be the right thing when your message to people is basically to enjoy sex and make pill-popping or condom use a regular part of their lifestyle, then force others to pay for all that? When you keep insisting that what other people do in their bedroom is none of our business while you expect us to finance their enjoyment of sex – whether extra-marital, pre-marital, sodomitical or criminal?

How can it be the right thing when the basic premise of its sex education program is that satisfying, pleasurable and safe sex is a right – and a human right at that – and a priority in life starting from adolescence? When this message is delivered through six years of the same basic idea? When educators and educational institutions are required to deliver this message to their students?

How can it be the right thing when a massive budget will be devoted to ingraining in the youth such a message, when it’s goal-setting, decision-making, traits such as integrity, honesty, perseverance, self-mastery, diligence, other-centeredness, delicadeza, sincerity, respect for elders, love of family and country, and other life lessons that they need to be equipped with to prepare them for the future?

How can signing an RH measure into law be the right thing when it will clearly destroy the future and the very soul of the nation?

The goal is to build a nation, preserve it, and protect its people’s fundamental rights – not destroy the nation and strip its people of their rights.

Mr. President, you have wronged the Filipino people --

big time.

Of chastity, tattoos, and the Powerpuff Girls

Ten years ago I wrote something for Woman Today magazine which I later placed in one of my blogs. That blog contains some of my published work and I'd love to add more, which I can't do, unfortunately. I forgot my password for that blog.

So in 2002 I was asked to write a piece on chastity, which I nearly turned down. Who wouldn't find such a topic daunting -- particularly if the aim is to come up with something formative, uplifting, and sound and not merely entertaining, a chance for self-expression, or a go at (mis)leading readers into dismissing the notion of chastity and related values as outdated or unrealistic? Well, with much encouragement from my editor, I did accept the assignment. Here's the result:

When chastity is a funky tattoo

That title up there is probably the only instance where you'll see the words "chastity," "funky" and tattoo" in the same sentence. Unless you're thinking along the lines of "Be funky, so get a tattoo and while you're at it, forget chastity as well."

Or maybe "Choose getting a funky tattoo over living chastity."

Or simply "Get a funky tattoo -- and what's chastity anyway?"

You, girl, may be nodding and suppressing a smile over that last line, either because you totally identify with the sentiments in it, or because you can just imagine today's MTV generation asking such a question, and you understand why they are absolutely clueless about something like chastity. Whichever it is, you have to admit that hearing the word "chastity" can be like taking a trip back to the time of Leopold, the Duke of Albany, if it doesn't conjure images of cloistered nuns first.

Billboards and pop icons
"Just look at all those billboards. Is it surprising that people are so used to the idea of getting sexual or, at the least, to the idea of nudity?" a friend casually remarked as the prevalence of the topic of sex among ordinary chitchats and countless magazine articles figured into our conversation.

"If you see pictures of women almost down to their underwear everyday -- or barely clothed men and women in seductive stances, you eventually acquire the attitude. Sex becomes..you know, it's cheapened. Like it's always there, in-your-face -- know what I mean? Tapos pati ikaw, without your knowing it, malamang magiging gano'n na rin ang attitude mo."

She does have a point. Constant exposure to the sight of half-naked people does have a way of numbing the senses and erasing such concepts as modesty and purity from our sensibilities. I mean, if I spent hours watching Jennifer Lopez or Britney Spears music videos everyday, it's very possible that chastity would be wiped out from my vocabulary (and my memory) by the end of the first week.

But then this is not about J. Lo or Britney and their treatment of human sexuality or their lifestyle choices; this is about us ordinary people and how we look at ourselves, and about the choices we make based on the kind of self-image we have.

Saying 'yes' and not 'no'
It took a good friend to help me understand the meaning of what it is to be truly chaste in modern times. "Chastity is something positive. Think of it as saying 'yes' to something instead of 'no' to certain things," she explained. When I found myself attracted to a pleasant and professionally prestigious man who seemed (to my ears, at least) to say my name with a special warmth, and whom I also discovered was married, I wondered where the 'saying yes' part had gone. It sure felt like I was saying 'no' to moments of wonderful conversation, 'no' to potentially blissful memories in the making.

Okay, that's just the sarcastic side of me talking, grumbling over the loss of possible emotionally satisfying moments. I knew, after the initial disappointment, that my decision to keep anything from developing and to forget about him was a choice to say 'yes' -- uh, but to what?

Well, I don't know exactly, but saying 'yes' then never felt so exhilarating and so congratulatory! It was the kind of feeling you get when you know that you did the right thing, even if it's difficult. Maybe it was 'yes' to happiness -- authentic happiness.

Whatever it was, that 'yes' made me feel brave: as if I were a Powerpuff Girl in disguise, and nobody but me knew about it. Yep, that was it, except that there was nothing cutesy, cartoonish or crime-busting about the power I began to feel then. It was just a quiet strength on which to anchor my heart and the core of my womanhood. Think of it as having, say, a funky tattoo etched on some obscure part of your body, and only you know about it. It is amazing how a woman can draw enormous spunk from a silly adornment acquired simply for vanity's sake (which is generally what a tattoo is perceived to be).

Chastity indeed began to seem to me like an everyday concept, not like some "up in the clouds" outdated notion for those who are out of touch with reality, or some word you'd utter with pursed lips or a pretentiously sweet smile.

But hey, how many of us are going to find ourselves being drawn to men who are unavailable? Okay, maybe a lot (especially if you belong to the 30+ category and no Mr. Wonderful is in sight. Or maybe your Mr. Wonderful is starting to seem like Mr. Wonderless?), but wearing chastity or purity like a badge of courage comes in handy in the most ordinary situations, far from the complications of getting involved with married men.

The tsismis factor
For instance, I must admit there were times that keeping a pure outlook became a struggle. In some circles, cracking kinky jokes and gossiping about the who's who in pre- and extra-marital affairs are standard fare for small talk. When I kept silent rather than participate in fanning the flames of intrigue, and when I whipped out "hey, I like your shoes, where did you buy them--?" while teasing in various shades of green went on, the responses were varied. Some appreciated it; others didn't.

But always it gave me (and continues to give me) a sense of joy, knowing that I acted on the strength drawn from the idea of my cool tattoo, that I said "yes" each time. Put simply, I held on to my principles and I felt good about it.

Then somewhere along the way, I also discovered that matters pertaining to sex are just a wee bit of what purity is really all about. There's such a thing as being pure in one's intentions -- the motivations, in other words, behind the things we do. I began to be concerned as I learned about this virtue more deeply. Wait a minute, am I being sincere when I talk to people? When I do the things I do?

Strength, self-worth and the tattoo
So it's really not hard to see that matters about sex and things pertaining to, say, malicious criticism and 'dubiously motivated' action are interrelated, since purity in all its forms -- purity of heart and intention, modesty, decency, chastity -- are all tied together. The great thing about it is that taking care of one aspect also helps you grow in the others.

The thing is, nobody imposed this way of thinking on me, just like the way nobody forced me to once regard immodest dressing as an assertion of one's strength (that's what fashion pages project, right?). Just like the way I toyed with the notion that giving yourself completely to a man who is not your husband is okay as long as there's love (I probably watched too many Hollywood movies of the wrong kind). Just like the way I assumed that laughing at jokes about private parts and bedroom activity was the most logical thing in the world (pure ignorance here). I do understand how maxims like "If you've got it, flaunt it" and "If it feels good, do it" can work their messages subtly on impressionable minds. No need, then, to cram down one's throats such principles.

So, don't believe me right away when I say that chastity is for each of us who knows the worth of the innermost recesses of our being. Don't be convinced at once that modesty doesn't automatically mean donning turtlenecks and ankle-length skirts, and that it translates to the thoughts you entertain, the things you say, and the way you act. After all, it took me a while to grasp these things.

What matters is that you figure out the worth you place on yourself, how much respect you have for your whole being. This, Powerpuff Girl, will determine what you hold dear and let you see the funky little tattoo that's already there. You probably just had to believe that you had one all along.

I'll bet some of these ideas have never occurred to you

Here's a topic that has never been boring, judging from the raised eyebrows, animated discussions, and thought-provoking viewpoints it often elicits -- especially nowadays. For now, I'm leaving the people in these videos to explore the subject. The first shows a 21-year-old lady who presents ideas that I'd say are wonderfully counter-cultural given the kind of environment Western nations have become.

The second is just as counter-cultural and she expresses her ideas as part of a women's panel during a discussion on one of the most contentious issues in America today.

And the third, well... just watch it.

How's Life around the world?

Like I mentioned in a previous post not too long ago, these are exciting times for everyone involved in the crusade to uphold a culture of life! Exciting can be good, and it apparently has been in the Philippines -- people who value their freedom, their family, and the need to uphold common decency in society are uniting and standing up for their principles.

Elsewhere on the planet are significant developments as far as the issues of abortion, religious freedom, euthanasia and the push for taxpayer-funded "reproductive health" services in general are concerned. Some are positive and quite encouraging; others seem too absurd or senseless to be happening in real life, but should still be encouraging enough to us to be a motivation for our continued fight for Life.

Here, around the world in 8 headlines (all published this month), plus a short but great video -- put together by Blackstone Films -- of the March 23 nationwide rally for religious freedom that happened across the United States:


Sandra Fluke's appearance is no fluke

Pro-life conference teaches Kenyan students to combat anti-life agenda

Slovenia says no to same-sex marriage

Notion of youth majority as pro-RH 'wishful thinking'; student group doesn't speak for youth sector

Parisian pro-lifers unite in massive 'flashmob' against euthanasia

Cardinal Dolan leads U.S. Bishops' support of Stand Up Rally

EU illegally gave abortion providers $30 million, report says

President Obama pledges never to stop fighting for Planned Parenthood, which did 329,445 abortions in 2010

The meaning of education

It would really be unfair to assume that some individuals, organizations or sectors aim to corrupt the minds of children. Not even the notion that they value monetary gain over educating minors to grow up decent human beings ought to be assumed. This way, the issues can be evaluated more objectively and with more detachment.

Consider the following:

"Sex is for enjoyment as much as we can or want," Spanish adolescents are being told by their socialist government. "Do and let others do whatever they wish."
Those words appeared in a pamphlet distributed to high school students in the region of Catalonia, according to Spanish news site Forum Libertas (Liberty Forum).
"Enjoying sex is a natural and recommendable thing," the pamphlet also states. "Learn the best ways to enjoy it with security and tranquility."
The pamphlet also endorses homosexual relationships, Forum Libertas reports. No mention is made of abstinence, nor the consequences of sexual intercourse.
...
The program, known as "Education for Citizenship and Human Rights" (EpC) is being imposed on all schools in Spain, public and private. Families who refuse to allow their children to attend have been threatened with prosecution. Although schools have some latitude in how they implement the program, Spanish government officials at all levels are clearly seeking to normalize promiscuity and unnatural sexual behavior.

Read the full article in LifeSiteNews

* * * * * * * * * *

The complainants object to schools teaching students to accept homosexuality as normal and singled out a third-grade textbook used in Córdoba, Andalusia, which states that "nature has given us sex so we can use it with another girl, with a boy or with an animal".

Read the full article in Euractiv

* * * * * * * * * *

In late October, the regional government of Extremadura in southwestern Spain launched a new sexual-education campaign designed to facilitate the "development of healthy habits, self-esteem and safety." Although the publicly funded campaign includes the publication of pamphlets and an online magazine, the highlight is a series of workshops for 14-to-17-year-olds aimed at educating participants on anatomy, body image, safe-sex practices, gender equality and, in the mildly celebratory words of an early press release (since redacted), "sexual self-exploration and erotic self-knowledge." Or, in other words, masturbation.
...
It was this last element that attracted attention across the country. "Masturbation Workshops for Adolescents," ran the headline in Que!, a free daily in Madrid. "Extremadura Promotes Masturbation," cried the centrist national paper El Mundo.
...
Admittedly, [Extramadura Youth Council president Laura] Garrido and the other organizers bear more than a little responsibility for the response. They're the ones, after all, who chose the instructors to lead the workshops: two women who, in addition to running sex-education workshops, co-own a shop in Madrid called Lola's Pleasures, which specializes in erotic devices. The instructors, who have given adult sex-education classes sponsored by municipal governments in other regions of the country, didn't help matters by bringing a selection of sex toys to the first teen workshop in late October in order "to dispel myths," Garrido says.
...
In the Netherlands, for instance, teachers at public schools lead discussions in which they ask girls ages 12 to 15 what they would do if their boyfriends refused to wear a condom. In Finland, basic sex education begins in kindergarten, and the curriculum for ninth-graders includes lessons on abortion and masturbation. In Germany, where sex education is mandatory, public school teachers have been known to discuss oral sex and different sexual positions.

Read the full article in Time

** Addendum:

I remembered this article about, er...kiddie condoms, which I saw over at Willyj's --

Called the Hotshot, the condom has been produced after government research showed 12 to14-year-olds did not use sufficient protection when having sex.
...
The company has said the UK would be "top priority" if they expanded abroad, considering that it has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe.
Nysse Norballe, a spokesman for the company, said: "At the moment we are only producing the Hotshot in Switzerland. But the UK is certainly a very attractive market since there is a very high rate of underage conception. The UK would definitely be top priority if we marketed abroad."

Read the full article in the Telegraph

"Scout's honor"... sounds silly now

Excerpt from Feminine Genius:

Sit-upons and camp fire songs are so last century:

(NEW YORK – C-FAM) The World Association of Girl Scouts and Girl Guides hosted a no-adults-welcome panel at the United Nations this week where Planned Parenthood was allowed to distribute a brochure entitled “Healthy, Happy and Hot.” The event was part of the annual United Nations Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) which concludes this week.

The brochure, aimed at young people living with HIV, contains explicit and graphic details on sex, as well as the promotion of casual sex in many forms. The brochure claims, “Many people think sex is just about vaginal or anal intercourse… But, there are lots of different ways to have sex and lots of different types of sex. There is no right or wrong way to have sex. Just have fun, explore and be yourself!”

Really can't add anything to this as I am still speechless regarding the whole matter. Read the rest at Feminine Genius (yes, there's more)