Candy bar

The people at Generations for Life blog about a variety of issues, and recently the topic was a study in the Journal of Sex Research that links depression in women to casual sex. Here's part of the article from which the discussion jumped off:

Sex on Campus: Not as Fulfilling as you Think
By John Bambenek

A recent study in the Journal of Sex Research links depression in women to casual sex. This flies in direct contrast to a campus culture that tries to celebrate “uncommitted sex.” The problem is it flies in the face of our internal nature, and is the case in most emotional matters, comes down hardest on women.

Like most campuses, the University of Illinois hosts an annual celebration of uncommitted sex called “Sex Out Loud.” It presents a generally one-sided account of sex which doesn’t represent reality. Sex has consequences and those consequences are felt mostly by women.

We know that because people in general have come to put a lesser value on protecting their intimacy, what's rightly reserved for within the marriage bond is becoming commonplace even among teens. Let's hope that studies like the one mentioned above gives more women a jolt and gets them thinking seriously about their choices. One way, however, of helping women understand the whole concept of sexuality and enable them to realize and appreciate their self-worth, is by starting them young -- ahem, not in sexual activity but in exposure to explanations that help them understand the big picture gradually, at their level.

One of the comments by Mary Kay in the blog I mentioned provides just the thing. It's sad in a way because imagine having to tackle such things already with young minds. This is partly the price of being in a wired world with the MTV generation. (Sigh) Anyway, Mary Kay's analogy provides food for thought and an answer that may come in handy someday:

I have used that analogy of a candy bar with my 9 year old. Not wishing to get too graphic with her when she was 7, but needing to address some overtly sexual dancing at a 7 year olds birthday party, I told her that all little girls have a candy bar. Many little boys will try to get that candy bar. If they give their candy bar away, those boys will eat their candy bar and then dump the girl, moving on to fresh girls and fresh candy bars. I told her not to even let those boys taste her candy bar, because then no boy would want her candy bar anymore. I strongly suggested (I emphasize “strongly”) that she furthermore, not even so much as unwrap her candy bar. Some girls like to unwrap it and tease the boys. But this too is inappropriate.

However, one day, when she meets the right boy, and they stand at an altar in front of God and everyone, and she has a nice promisory ring on her finger…then, and only then, may she finally share her candy bar. And she will recognize the boy because he will be the one who never tried to bribe, steal or cajole that candy bar away from her. He will be the one who waited, and respected her.

Believe it or not, a few weeks later, she pointed to a window ad in Victorias Secret (sexy angels I believe) and asked if those women were giving their candy bars away…

out of the mouth of babes…

Read more of the discussion here