What is 'normal'?

Is there really such a thing as a perfect child? Who among us can say that we were perfect children who gave our parents no headaches whatsoever, no trace of heartache? Can anyone say that he/she is dependent on no person in any way?

Judie Brown, president and co-founder of American Life League, dishes out food for thought in a commentary published at ProLifeBlogs. Excerpts:


A perfect child

By Judie Brown

A tragedy has unfolded in Pekin, Illinois, where a 3-year old girl was suffocated by a woman who put a plastic trash bag over the child's head. Dr. Karen McCarron, a certified pathologist, now sits in jail, facing charges of first-degree murder. That a respected medical professional is charged with such a crime is shocking enough; but you also need to know that the victim is her own daughter, and McCarron has confessed to the killing. It sounds surreal, but the numbing fact is that an innocent child's life has been brought to an end at the hands of the woman who bore her.

Katie was an autistic child; she had a number of problems that her parents had been dealing with during the years leading up to her untimely death. Like Katie, other children have been affected to varying degrees by autism and other problems. But in most cases, parents have accepted reality, learning how to best help their child and cope with the condition themselves. This can be a strain, no doubt. But a special needs child is also a blessing in many ways.

Growing up with a little brother who had Down syndrome taught me a lot about parental love, patience and acceptance of the unbelievable hardships that can occur when one of the family members is in need of so much care. But every moment of my brother's life was a gift; it is a great sadness to me even now, fifty years later, to recall his short life and the common cold that took him away from us. But my brother died a natural death.

In Katie McCarron's case, the media has gone out of its way to portray the conditions of living with a child with autism as so difficult that the overwhelming burden can cause someone to do what Katie's mother has reportedly confessed to. And while Valerie Brew Parish, a polio survivor, a mom and a grandmother has coined the term "disabledocide" to describe the act of killing people with disabilities; her most telling comment is this: "My daughter recently was asked what she would wish for. Her replies startled her friend, who chastised her by saying, your mom has paralyzed arms, your dad is blind and your son is autistic. Don't you wish they were normal?"

When a mother who has been accused of taking her daughter's life is described as a "fantastic mother," a "loving mother," but someone who lacked sufficient support from the community, there is something wrong. When individuals are quoted in the media as saying that raising a child with disabilities "could move any normal person to be a different person and consider things they never considered before," the impression is given that deadly acts against vulnerable people are understandable and even compassionate. It further begs the question: what is "normal" in today's self-absorbed culture?

Is it normal to murder a baby in the womb? Is it normal to warehouse sickly grandparents? Is it normal to become so frustrated with a loved one that taking his life is the only way out?

This is all part of the thinking that accompanies 33 years of decriminalized preborn child killing. There are more and more people these days who honestly believe they have a right to the perfect child and an equal right to reject those who are either burdensome or simply unacceptable. It's all about "me," rarely about "you." How sad our world has become. How terribly disordered is our thinking.

More at ProLifeBlogs