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[Prof. Harvey Mansfield] says the gender-neutral society - the ostensible aim of feminism - has come at the expense of male-female relationships, at work and at home. He calls for a refinement of the discussion of manliness to balance positive and negative: lose the caddish, harassing, and brutal facets but keep elements of honor, chivalry, and gentlemanliness.
"Manliness can't be repressed because it is in our nature," Mansfield says.
As [Frank Vincent] sees it: Women in every avenue of life are calling the shots - in malls and restaurants, at the symphony and sporting events - while men smile and nod like a dashboard bobblehead doll. His antidote, "A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man," is as full of practical tips as Mansfield's is devoid of them. He reminds men exactly how to behave with honor, respect, and gentlemanliness. That includes dating ("don't look too eager"), dressing ("no ties with animals, Looney Tune characters, or Spongebob."), dining ("order New York strip steak for three"), and listening to "man's man" music ("Sinatra was the ultimate"). His formula for men in 2006 is to get a manicure (but no pedicure), money clip (no Velcro wallets), and a DVD of "Saving Private Ryan."
The author of another recent book, "The Secrets of Happily Married Men," was even more emphatic. "There is a backlash against the idea that the ideal man has to be feminized in some way," says Scott Haltzman. A longtime couples counselor, he says he has seen the damage to men who try to go down the touchy-feely road, especially when it's against their will, from the impetus of their wives.
My own experience is that when I spent too much time with my inner woman, my wife felt there was something wrong with herself, and got jealous of the "other woman." I should have taken Haltzman's advice: "Let men be good at what they do, and teach women to better appreciate that."
Gotten enough from the excerpts? Then you probably don't feel the need to read the entire piece, "Manly man? Girly man? Oh, man!" by Daniel B. Wood.
1 comment:
i say let boys be boys..some things are just not meant to be changed.
our best side comes out anyway when women act like REAL women..so no need to change us and make us 'sensitive males'
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