Friday, March 29, 2013

Bouncing back

I never really thought much about pillows till I saw those amazing ones at a dainty bed and breakfast. Seconds after I lifted my head from the one on my bed, I watched as the part where my head lay the entire night slowly rose, bringing the pillow back to its original fluffy shape. I had never seen anything like it, and I later learned that the owner of the place was a collector of sorts -- explaining the exquisite pieces of furniture and the impeccable bed linen all over.

Now wouldn't it be wonderful if the human heart were just like that pillow, going back to its original shape a few moments after every time it got dented out of shape? Bouncing back quickly after being broken in some way to its pre-hurt condition?

Someone I know got her feelings hurt recently by one of her friends, and she still can't bring herself to forgive. She knows that forgiving is going to set her free from that pain, but she also learns from the past. Several times she had too swiftly -- but to me a bit unnaturally -- hurdled heartbreak (heartbreak in general, that which involves different kinds of relationships), moving on quickly because she thought it was the mature thing to do. It was an attempt at outright detachment, but how do you process pain if you disengage right away and throw it out without a thought?

I think this time she knows better than to deal with hurt in the same way again. No more rushing to "forgive and forget" when she has hardly contemplated on "what does not kill you makes you stronger" or "you can't flash the peace sign with a clenched fist" (I made up that second one).

Then, she heard the following lines from a movie, words told by a dad to his teenage daughter who is grappling with the sudden death of a friend and at the same time holding a grudge against her older sister, who is also grieving the death:

"You got a right to grieve, you got a right  to be hurt. But if you get so wrapped up in your own pain that you can't see anyone else's, you might just as well dig yourself a hole and pull the dirt in on top of you because you're never going to be much use to yourself, or anyone else."

Well, we all get wrapped up in our disappointments and pains, don't we? And it's a pity when it makes us blind -- or callous -- to the struggles of other people. I'd say that around this time -- these days of the year -- would be a good time for anyone to look around so as not to miss out on just what others are going through or have offered or have put up with. For even if one felt like



one man willingly went through the same thing, plus mockery, betrayal, public ridicule and much, much more.

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