For whom the cell rings

When talking about the good old days, my mother sometimes reminisces about the fabulous '40s. Her mention of "euthenics" as one of her classes in those days has always fascinated me, especially since her teacher was my dad's aunt (and her future aunt-in-law at the time). Euthenics, based on her description, was the pre-wartime era's version of Good Manners & Right Conduct. Too bad it was ditched from the curriculum since in my opinion, instruction in proper etiquette is more badly needed nowadays.

Obviously, curriculum revision would have to be done every few years to include matters such as:

- the (im)propriety of plugging in your laptop in a coffee house as you sip your latte

- extending gentlemanly manners on a date in this age of power locks

- making and entertaining romantic proposals through "texting" and "chatting"

- polite responses to a lady who feels insulted and reacts with rage upon being offered a seat on the train or being offered to go first through a door held open

Good manners never go out of style; it's the responses to situations that one finds himself in that need updating from time to time, warranted because the times -- indeed -- they are a-changing!

Check this out:


"The new technological landscape calls for a new etiquette, and that new etiquette doesn't seem to be in place yet. I've endured people answering their cell phones in movies theaters and in lecture halls. Is it OK to disturb everyone's peace and quiet on a late-night commuter train with your yakking? Is it OK to bellow into your cell phone when squeezed onto a small commuter plane? Is it OK to ignore flight attendants' instructions to shut off your cell phone because that plane needs to take off?

If you think that last query is absurd, think again. Last June, a passenger on a US Airways flight from Miami to Philadelphia refused to curtail her call when it was time for the plane to depart. She said it would be rude to hang up on her friend. The standoff turned tense, the passenger wound up smacking a federal air marshal, and was ultimately taken off the plane in handcuffs.

When I look around campus and see all the cell phones, I am struck by the sad thought that we are no longer ever alone. We have eroded all the space we once had for solitude. I've had some of my best conversations with myself, and with God, strolling across campus. Now, when we stroll, we are talking into tiny bits of plastic — and most of what we're saying is pretty lame. ("Well, I'm about 10 seconds from the library ... yep, now I'm walking up the library steps ... no, okay, well here I am entering the library, I'll see you in three seconds.") Is solitude so scary that we have made it impossible? Solitude is scary, but scarier still is the prospect of a society in which no one has time to be quiet, to be reflective."

Read the rest at Boundless webzine