Just say the word

The way the next generation turns out depends much on us. We don't and can't deal with all the kids in the world, and that's not what we're meant to do. So start with those around you -- your own, or those in your care or under your supervision.

What do your words show to the people -- children and grown-ups -- around you?

Fast forward

Tutorials by the purple people

More words would be superfluous.





Mga ligtas na paraan ng pagpapalaglag = "Safe ways to abort your unborn child"

You may want to check out a previous post that's related to this

The Queen of Pop

Uh...Pop Control that is. That's Hillary Clinton, whose relentless push for universal access to abortion is quite known.





She's coming to Manila once again, and though it's a mere one-day visit and it's supposed to celebrate some treaty's anniversary, how can she pass up the chance to give a boost to the RH cause here, especially when more and more Filipinos are opening their eyes to the truth and learning more of the truth about RH legislation, population control and why these are not the solution to poverty.

But don't take my word for it. Do more research on the history of "reproductive health" -- read up on the NSSM 200 (that stands for National Security Study Memorandum 200, a formerly classified then now declassified document that reveals quite a lot), and see what you'll dig up about Margaret Sanger and International Planned Parenthood Federation.

For starters, check out an article to get some insights on Clinton's Manila visit from Filipinos who are in the know when it comes to the whole reproductive health affair because for years they've been living in a country that's been immersed in the RH lifestyle -- the US.

Quotes:

"She has stated again and again that reproductive health must always include access to ‘safe, legal, and rare’ abortion. I hope the anti-RH people in the Philippines will show her that we Filipinos do not want this for our country, that we Filipinos are baby-loving and family-oriented people. I hope there will be a very big rally to show Hillary Clinton we don’t need her telling us Filipinos how to live our lives. The Philippines is a sovereign country and liberal laws in the U.S. have no place in our culture!"

"What is there to say? Hillary’s known for her liberal views, especially her famous words that reproductive health and reproductive rights include the right to abortion. I’m sure if she spends any time there at all, this will be one of the top items on her agenda. That’s a given."

Full story here

Are adults there to adulterate?

I would certainly think not. But sometimes I can't help but feel that adults are responsible for corrupting that which is innocent. Who else can be held responsible for treating children as if their childhood were a stage to be skipped? A child--unless introduced to grown-up things too early--naturally tends to be child-like. Would a little girl flash a come-hither look or gyrate like a burlesque dancer if she weren't exposed to such concepts in the first place?





So, why are such things happening?

10-year-old girl poses seductively for French Vogue

Little girls gone wild: Why daughters are acting too sexy, too soon

French company blasted for marketing 'sexy' underwear for four-year-olds


I thought it would stop at that pole-dancing kit for kids several years ago that was briefly marketed online before being pulled out due to numerous protests ... or the padded bras for toddlers after that which didn't really take off. But it looks like marketers will stop at nothing if the glare of big bucks becomes too hard to resist!

As for that last item above about "kiddie lingerie," I came across something written by a mom who reacted to it. Here's an excerpt:

Instead of talking about if this is right or wrong, how horrible the sexualization and sexploitation of childhood is, how our daughters are being damaged by messages coming at them so early that their ability to be beautiful and sexy will define their worth and that their not-yet developed sexuality will be a performance for others instead of something innate….

Let’s desconstruct what this is really about, because I heard some absurd things when this was discussed:

2. “Saying that a woman wears pretty undergarments because they expect to be undressed for sex, also bad.” And “not always why I wear it… I would say it’s made to make me feel (when properly fitting, of course) feminine, sensual, attractive, etc”.

What I said, for the record, is that the ‘lingerie is gift wrapping for sex’. There are definitely women who like to wear lingerie for the sake of wearing lingerie, sex or no sex. Fancy bras and panties are a perk to being a grown woman. But I think it is safe to say that the majority of people wearing lingerie, the majority of times they wear it, is to be seductive in the boudoir and to be gazed upon. Now we have a children’s version, which makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Let’s remember, Victoria’s Secret was created by a man, to make a more comfortable and easy shopping experience for men buying items for their romantic interests. The lingerie market was created and largely exists for sex and seduction, to be gazed at while wearing garments that accentuate the adult body in a sexual manner. Wearing lingerie is about sex or feeling sexy. And none of that has to do with being a five year old.

5. “I don’t think I would have had any idea I was being sexualized, and since my parents would never have let me pose in my underwear in a public forum under any circumstances (and it never would have occurred to me to want to), I don’t think anyone else would have had the opportunity to sexualize me either.” And “If no one involved, including the children, notice it happening, then how is it happening exactly?”

That is the beast of sexualization, isn’t it? Children don’t understand that it is happening to them. How would they? That doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. If I have a pot boiling on the stove and I leave the room as it boils over, I may not see it happening, but I still have a mess to clean up. Sexualization doesn’t have to take place in public, and sexualization is not the same as sexual abuse.

6. “I think saying ‘my daughter wants to be like me and she may by any means she chooses EXCEPT the things I do because they make me feel pretty’ is…bizarre. Girls are allowed to want to be attractive.”

I think all living creatures are looking for acceptance, and a part of that comes from being found attractive. But in girlhood, that shouldn’t come from being sexy. Trying on Mommy’s dresses and make-up and painting toes is one thing – both totally normal and age appropriate, while keeping in check the focus and emphasis on “being pretty”. Trying on mini, child version of the type of lingerie Mommy would wear to seduce Daddy while away on an anniversary weekend? Not okay. Disgusting, really.

Playing with hairstyles and clips and updo’s – totally normal and age appropriate. Sitting at a photoshoot getting a Brigette Bardo bombshell updo to model lingerie made for kids? Are ya kidding me? Not. Okay.

There are some things adults do because they are adults that have no place in childhood.
It is all about allowing our children to be children, and not rushing them in sexuality and adulthood. It is about seeing the value in our girls enjoying and thriving in girlhood. If we do that, we’ll be raising a great bunch of young women.

Couldn't add anything more to that!

The trashing of a treasure

There have been times that I felt that my own people (lawmakers, to be precise) were selling my country, its heritage and its future to foreigners. It can be quite disturbing (and painful in some way) because aren't public servants supposed to take care of the public? Aren't the people whom they should be serving?

Lately I've been having that feeling again due to developments in legislation. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill, partly because reporting the developments concerning this issue is part of my job. But the more I learn about it and the more I understand the tiniest details about its history and provisions, the gloomier I feel about my own government leaders apparently putting other interests above protecting the country and its people. I mean, they can't all be ignorant of the facts.

Then just this week I attended a House committee hearing on the proposed divorce bill. What else will our elected leaders push our people to accept?

Below are articles I recently wrote that shed more light on the issues and developments:


More funds for RH mean less for basic services -- solon

MANILA, May 30, 2011―Allocating millions of pesos for House Bill 4244 means slashing the budget that would have otherwise been spent on education and other basic services, said a member of the House of Representatives in a recent press conference.

Full story

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RH Bill redundant, similar to int'l agreement

MANILA, May 26, 2011― Parañaque Rep. Roilo Golez has underscored the redundancy of a portion of the Reproductive Health bill during interpellation in Congress on Wednesday.

Full story

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Curb corruption, not population to kill poverty -- pro-lifers

MANILA, May 27, 2011―A legislative measure that regards members of a huge population as the cause of poverty does not provide a proper solution, say pro-lifers who were present at this week’s plenary debates at the House of Representatives.

Full story

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RH legislation a "cultural intrusion" -- lawyer

MANILA, June 1, 2011—While the formulation of Philippine laws is essentially based on the needs and conditions of the country’s citizens, the crafting of the Reproductive Health (RH) bill cannot be attributed to Filipino lawmakers but to foreign organizations, said Atty. Jo Aurea Imbong, Executive Secretary of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) Legal Office.

Full story

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Divorce a gross injustice to children

MANILA, June 3, 2011―The cost of divorce on children was among the crucial points repeatedly brought up at Wednesday’s Congressional committee hearing on the divorce bill sponsored by Gabriela Representatives Luzviminda Ilagan and Emerenciana de Jesus.

Full story

Tatay, Dad, Papa

Why are men reluctant to become fathers?
They aren't through being children.
-- Cindy Garner

I have no idea who Cindy Garner is, but what she said makes a lot of sense -- and could serve to open the eyes of any man to whom those words apply :-) So, I am putting them here. Along with the following videos. The first is a sweet, subtle piece of encouragement; the second, a more direct reminder of why dads are sorely needed by their children, and how they can best guide their little ones.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers, future fathers, and fathers in spirit!

Coming soon...

As always, a wide array of topics covered -- from cover to cover :-)






Besides the topics you see on the cover, there's an interesting feature on Keep Love Real author Lora Tan-Garcia, who is one of the pioneers of the I AM STRONG program for teens, which has been making waves in schools in different parts of the country. Other interesting reads are on household cleaning agents (and what they really contain!), taking a closer look at babywearing, something on dengue, and a feature on children's book author Grace D. Chong.

In a week's time, this gleeful Rubik's cube-clutching baby girl, Therese Murrf Trinidad, will be smiling at shoppers along the store shelves. So... abangan!

Ideas and more ideas...

... about parenting...

Stumbled on Thingamababy via link-blogging and I happened to read this wonderfully thought-provoking piece on the whole princess thing. Don't forget to check out the comments!

Then a week or two ago, yet another manifestation of examined parenting on a variety of issues, from jewelry and electronic books to TV time and candy. Read "A comprehensive of all the things new parents don't really have control over, but attempt to control anyway"

An excerpt:

1. Licensed characters — The Doras, Spidermen and Hello Kitties are restricted with rare exceptions. I don't see the need for them, or for marketers to be telling my kids what's important. We have Winnie the Pooh books and a Thomas the Train set, but our daughter hasn't interacted with those characters in other products or media.

Yesterday we were in a Target store when our daughter asked, "Why is Tigger on the shampoo?" I'm so proud of her. "Because someone who makes that product thinks it will sell better if they put that character on it."

2. Candy, juice, soda and other sugary treats — Cake is for birthdays. Candy and juice are for special occasions. Life is so much easier, kids so much healthier and dental bills so much lighter when children don't expect and don't ask for sweet things.

17. Jewelry — Simple jewelry has been among the items in our daughter's dress-up bin since the beginning, but jewelry as a public accessory won't happen until age 13. Yeah, it's an arbitrary number. My belief is that jewelry as a means to make oneself attractive is a mature thing to be using, and I prefer to let kids embrace their childhood as long as possible. They have the rest of their lives to be adults.

Granted, our daughter's thought process is more like, "Ooh, it's sparkly, I want to wear it." A necklace is on the same level as stickers to her. However, wearing it is establishing a practice, a habit, an activity that carries well beyond toddlerhood. Today it's for one thing, tomorrow another. Right now, clothing mostly serves a utilitarian purpose for her, so I'm not about to give her high heels or a low-cut shirt just because she might (I hope not) consider them neat.

A new read

How do you soothe an infant who's crying his lungs out?

Does the choice of story books affect a baby's learning his ABCs?

What's the real deal about little boys and playing "bang! bang!" with those toy guns?

What items go into a layette? What is a layette?

Why do some babies develop UTI?

Does the adage "boys don't cry" help your little boy in any way?

How does natural family planning enhance the husband and wife's relationship?

What's the difference between probable, presumptive and positive signs of pregnancy?

How can you assuage feelings of regret when you got a boy but wanted a girl (and vice versa)?

What's a parent to do to keep the kids from being TV junkies?

So many questions, so few pages!

Those and more will be answered when you read the latest issue of Baby magazine from cover to cover. There's even an illustrated step-by-step guide for daddies who are still learning the ropes when it comes to changing their baby's diaper. The guide, written by John-D Borra and illustrated by Leo Alvarado, will turn the most clueless newbie-Dad into a diaper jock in no time (as long as he practices, of course)!

On the cover is Boston Ryan Phillips, who was all of 7 months when he was photographed by lensman George Cabig at Edsa Shangri-La Hotel. He looks like a charming little pirate with that bandanna wrapped around his head...

Published by Marathon Publishing Co., Baby comes out 12 times a year and is available nationwide at National Bookstore, SM Dept. Store baby section, Baby & Co. (branches are at Powerplant Mall and The Podium), Babyland, Bufini, Big & Small Co. (Shangri-la Plaza mall branch), and selected Powerbooks and mag:net plus outlets.

Want to subscribe? There's a subscription form in every issue; otherwise, you may give us a call at 728-3655/56.

Oh by the way, there's a question to answer again in between the pages! And the lucky winners get to have a pretty cool prize for their baby. We're accepting emailed answers till June 30 -- the same deadline as the one for the Mother's Day Giveaway contests.

And down will come baby...

Thought I'd post this here in case anyone who reads my blog has been using these products (or knows anyone who does so). Two types of baby carriers were recalled in March as these were declared unsafe, with reported cases of accidents. Do read the reports for specifics.

Infantino SlingRider

Baby Trend Back Pack Carrier

Discrimination against women?

It's a program which works to help men become more responsible fathers, and the National Organization for Women is crying foul, saying the program is illegal because it's only about men.

Read "NOW demands access to program geared to fathers" at The Washington Post

The comments that follow the article are quite interesting too.

Willpower and 'Hilton-itis'

"Life is what we make it."

I have no idea who first uttered those words, but I've heard the saying quoted many times. It sums up whatever lessons one may draw from two articles I've bookmarked. Excerpts:

From Willpower is best used with careBy Cordelia Fine

The children were also given a real-life test of their ability to delay gratification. Each was handed a dollar bill in an envelope. They could choose either to keep it or hand it back and get $2 a week later. Their decision was carefully recorded.

The researchers returned in spring. They took note of each child's grades and then looked back to see both how clever, and how self-controlled, that student had been in autumn. What, they wanted to know, was the most important factor in school grades?

The psychologists discovered it was self-control, by a long shot. A child's capacity for self-discipline was about twice as important as his or her IQ when it came to predicting academic success.

From Hilton-itis infecting college students, says profProfessor claims that the disease consists of symptoms related to an overwhelming sense of laziness and entitlement, along with excessive behavior in the form of long nights of partying and drinking.By Spero News

“We need to stop allowing young people to believe that drinking till you puke every weekend is simply normal campus behavior. It’s not.”

After teaching at five major universities and witnessing many campus tragedies, Dr. Watkins argues that parents can be enablers of this form of behavior. He states that parents don’t expect their children to get jobs on campus, don’t enforce academic excellence and protect their children from their own mistakes.
“If you give someone a wheelchair before they learn to walk, then they will never bother to learn to use their legs,” says Watkins, who is now a visiting Scholar with the Center for European Economic Research. “Parents sometimes feel that every little thing must be provided for, and that an energetic 19-year-old is going to use that extra free time to study. Nope, many are going to study 15 hours per week and spend the rest of their time memorizing the local bars, gambling, or having sex with everything that moves. The idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”

They know what 'responsible parenthood' means

I can't help but think of the congressional bill that anti-life supporters insist on pushing. Funny that the proponents of House Bill 3773 should choose to call it the "Responsible Parenthood and Population Management Act" when one of its provisions is the transfer of the responsibility to form one's own children from the parents/family to the schools.

Education in matters such as human sexuality, "reproductive rights" and attitudes regarding birth control and procreation, will be left to private and public schools -- with mandatory sex education imposed on students from 5th grade to 4th year high school. Opposition to the contraception-and-population-control framework (which characterizes the government's sex education and reproductive health programs) by anyone including parents -- say, if they teach their teenage highschooler about the abortive component of birth control pills and tell her that true love entails sacrifice and, hence, abstinence until the wedding night -- shall be considered "willful disinformation," an act punishable by law (if the bill is passed).

This is happening in the Philippines, and despite the bill's name all this sounds more like a promotion of irresponsible parenthood to me.

Okay, that was meant to be an introduction to a news article I came across about some parents in Kansas, USA who are obviously involved parents and who know what "responsible parenting" means. I wish they were here to enjoin Filipino families to have the same courage and patience in caring for the children.

Parents Act on Schools’ Offensive Reading Material
By Cara Cook

Group provides Web site, resources about what to do.

In the spring of 2004, a group of parents in Overland Park, Kansas, sat down with some of their children’s assigned reading from school. What they found appalled them—and motivated them to do something about it.

Janet Harmon, one of the parents, told Concerned Women for America (CWA) her reaction to her son reading one of the books: “This is a 14-year-old freshman boy, and [the book] had references to oral sex and homosexuality. … I thought it was a mistake!”

One of Classkc.org’s fundamental principles is that parents should have final say regarding the formation of their children’s values, not the state: “The state should not have open season on when, where and how to indoctrinate and form children’s sexual attitudes, but rather, … the parents should have the primary role in values education and overall worldview, particularly in the area of sexual values, for their own children.”

Read the rest at Concerned Women for America

(Deliberately) Out of touch with women's health

From Feb. 27-March 10, women took centerstage at the United Nations headquarters in New York. It was the 50th Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) , attended by representatives from around the world including Wendy Wright -- president of Concerned Women for America (CWA) -- and Dr. Janice Crouse -- president of the Beverly LaHaye Institute (CWA's think tank).

Here are excerpts from "Reproductive Rights Gone Wrong," Dr. Crouse's report on what transpired:

Pro-life advocates have avoided using the term “reproductive services” because in U.N.-speak the phrase includes abortion; instead, we have used the term “reproductive health” care. Now, we find that “reproductive health” has been essentially re-defined by the World Health Organization (WHO).

The rabbit trail goes like this: At the U.N.’s Cairo convention in 1994, the term “reproductive health” included “regulation of fertility.”

So far, so good.

Then, along comes the WHO to define “fertility regulation” to include “interrupting unwanted pregnancies” (abortion). Oops, now there are problems; the left has, once again, usurped language for its purposes so that documents already agreed upon have new and different meanings, and an unwary step is taken into a carefully laid trap during the discussion of current documents.

Every single paragraph in the section on health is about reproductive health. Further and amazingly, reproductive health is separated from maternal and child health. In fact, there is a distinct hostility toward public health that focuses on maternal and child health. One would think that the only health problems women face concern reproduction.

Nothing –– NOTHING –– is mentioned about any of the top diseases that kill women. Heart disease and stroke are the #1 and #3 killers of women, and they kill more than the next seven causes of death combined—including all forms of cancer. Neither is mentioned.

Nothing –– NOTHING –– is mentioned about diseases like malaria and tuberculosis, which kill millions of poor people every year. Preventable diseases like measles and diarrhea stem from the lack of essential health services, money for medical treatment and adequate sanitation. One would think these basic health necessities would be the top priorities in advancing women’s health, well-being and development.

Yet, the health section of the document from the U.N. Commission on the Status of Women mentions none of the diseases that cause so many tragic deaths. Instead, the document mentions only reproductive health (meaning abortion).

Read the rest at the Beverly LaHaye Institute

Looking squarely at homosexuality

If you've got homosexual tendencies,

-- that doesn't diminish your dignity as a human being in any way
-- that doesn't give anybody any reason to show you disrespect
-- that doesn't mean you ought to give in to those tendencies
-- that doesn't mean a life of genuine fulfillment and deep joy is out of reach

Homosexual men and women, like anyone else, deserve to be encouraged toward affirming their dignity as human beings.

But homosexuality and its practice are not something to be encouraged, celebrated or distorted into being regarded as manifestations of freedom.

What are we doing to correct the distortions?

* * * * *

It's difficult these days to talk about homosexuality without sounding prejudiced against those who engage in homosexual activity. That's why I started off by posting those reminders up there. Hopefully, they'll help you establish a frame of mind that enables you to read through the following material (and other articles in the future) with a more objective orientation.

David Parker, the Massachusetts parent who stood his ground about being involved in determining the kind of education his son was getting in school, said the following in a speech he gave last September:

Parents, you need to ask questions of your school administration, this includes teachers, the principal, director of education, director of health, superintendent, and call your school committee members.
Realize that a discussion on transgenderism and “gay”-headed relationships, while claiming to only present reality to children, usually morphs into approval and acceptance. This occurs in a conversation seamlessly and without your notification.

Do take those words to heart for they apply not only to issues regarding homosexuality; the way we discuss other matters that have a moral dimension have a way of "morphing" into approval and acceptance when we're not as well-grounded as we'd like to be.

Can you say 'modesty' without the smirk and rolling eyes?

I've been coming across the word "modesty" more often during the past few months, and I tend to think it's due to the apparent backlash of feminism that has people looking at just what has happened to our society, especially when you look at the women. I'm not even referring to manner of dressing yet, but more of the values that are guiding their action, their speech and, yes, their choice of clothes and the way they carry these. Saying that modesty has been lacking is, I believe, not an inaccurate statement in this case.

Lately, feminism has been taking a beating and this is hugely because the spread of feminist ideas has resulted in the very opposite of women's liberation, which is what so many misguided proponents said and still say feminism has achieved and continues to advance.

And here I go again, attributing much of the societal damage to mass media. First of all, it's true -- media in this day and age is largely responsible for the perpetuation of ideas (both constructive and destructive) especially when the idea is deftly presented as something that will make you feel happy, free, strong, fabulously independent and/or desirable. The result: girls imitating what they see, whether it's a baby tee with "Porn star" flashed across the chest, the monthly boyfriend roulette, the spirit of abandon guiding underwear ads, or the whole attitude behind the "Sex Bomb Dancers" trend. An example:

Mothers who come into my office frequently express doubt about their own judgment, not knowing where to draw the line when their daughters dress provocatively. Girls, meanwhile, freely admit that they are only aping what they see in the media. One young woman told me, "I love 'Sex and the City,' but I know it's contributed" to the problem. " Desperate Housewives" does, too.

Believe me, people behind magazines, ads and TV programming know how to make practically anything -- even the trashiest, most indecent fashion styles and intrinsically wicked ideas -- look good and spend tons of money to do research to get better at it! Is this the part where someone interjects, "Decency is subjective, and one's choices from clothes to lifestyle are a personal matter"? True, and if this subjectivity is what's guiding you to believe that wearing that cleavage-baring top is a sign of strength and real girl power, um...invest in a shawl first and then read the rest of this post.

Here's something from a fabulous article titled "Deconstructing Dowd" which I love and came across at a website called The Modesty Zone but which, unfortunately, I can't find anywhere anymore (I should have saved the entire piece):

It is not a career that will make a woman feel good enough about herself so that she won't feel the need to put her body on display in vulgar and boorish ways, nor is it picking up the tab on a date. Neither one will make a man—or another woman—respect her more, as a person. Neither will make her a more desirable partner or mate. The only thing that is really going to make a difference in the day-to-day gender politics we all face, is when women decide that their true worth is inside of them, not outside, and then behave and dress accordingly.

But this is the clincher for me:

What Dowd and other writers fail to realize is that there is an assertiveness that comes with modesty—but it is a quiet self confidence that allows women to stand firm with who she is. That's more attractive and powerful than any Maxim cover, but it is also something that most modern feminists have ignored.

Oh, that paragraph up there that mentioned "Sex and the City" didn't come from the same article but another one, published in The Washington Post. I must warn you though -- it's hard not to keep reading paragraph after paragraph. The writer, Patricia Dalton, is a clinical psychologist, and I sure would love to have her in my neighborhood when I start raising daughters of my own. If you're a mom, you'll be reassured -- and given witty ideas -- by her article, What's wrong with this outfit, Mom? But even if you're the daughter, the son, the dad, the grandma, grandpa, best friend, boyfriend...check it out if you want something that's not the typical read.